"You are such an asshole."
Ludwig ripped the drenched t-shirt off and threw it at his brother in a ball.
"But Luddi, it looks so much better wet!" Gil dodged, cackling with laughter.
Ludwig slammed the door of his locker open, grabbing his gym bag and pulling out a dry shirt and shorts without looking. There was a wet slap as Gil threw the shirt back to him. It slid down the neighbouring locker and landed at his feet.
He heard his brother snigger. "Oops, I should totally work on my aim, right?"
He was still laughing. Ludwig could not believe he was laughing.
"What are you doing?" His voice was low. Something in it must have warned Gil, because he finally stopped.
"How can you laugh? I cannot believe you did that! You! Even you! I've never been so embarrassed!"
He couldn't look at him, and focused on pulling on clothes haphazardly instead.
He heard Gil shuffling uncomfortably behind him. "Hey, Luddi. Chill. It was just a joke."
Ludwig didn't answer right away. He closed his locker, shouldered his bag and headed towards the changing room's exit. He stopped in front of Gil and leaned in close, dropping his voice to a near whisper.
"You knew, you knew Feli would be there. You know how I feel about him."
"Exactly," Gilbert spread his hands, looking exasperated. "And I made sure he got an eyeful. That shirt was practically see-through. I was helping you."
Ludwig's eyes flashed and he grabbed his brother by his tie, giving him a little shake.
"Well, next time, don't! You humiliated me!"
He was younger, but he was powerfully built. With effort, Gil pulled his tie free and pushed him away. "Come on, man," he said more quietly. "Don't be mad. It's not a big deal."
"Yes, it is. Feli… I finally…" He shook his head. "The point is, you… I am just so sick of you! You're just… And I always put up with it. But you… You are a selfish, insensitive asshole. And I don't want to put up with it anymore!"
He shouldered his brother out of the way and disappeared down the corridor.
Gilbert rocked on his heels, releasing a shaky breath.
"Fine," he told the empty room. "Fine. Like I care." He hiked his backpack up his shoulder defiantly, and spun on his heels, walking away swiftly.
His footsteps sounded too loud in the deserted corridor. He picked up the pace.
It was still sunny outside.
There was still half an hour before classes started so he slumped under the tree by the Biology building and pulled out his journal. There was definitely time for an update. He could write about Francis and Arthur's latest fight. He could write about Ludwig and the water balloon. His gripped his pencil tighter.
"They just don't appreciate my sense of humour," he informed the diary.
"Who doesn't?"
Someone was bending over him, leaning round the tree trunk, letting long strands of hair tickle his face.
"Go away, Erzi. I don't want to talk to you." He swiped at her ineffectually.
She snorted. "Right, you just want to talk to your diary."
"It's not a diary! It's a journal. Are you so stupid you can't remember?" His tone lacked heat, he knew, regretting it instantly.
"Hey," her voice had softened. "Are you OK? You seem upset." She collapsed onto the grass next to him, throwing her hair over her shoulder.
Gilbert snorted at the inelegant display, then rallied as best he could. "I am not upset. Why would I be upset? I am awesome! I am never upset."
"Did you fight with your brother?" she continued, ignoring him. "I saw him stomping around earlier. He looked really angry."
He shrugged diffidently and she sighed.
"So it was you, then. I heard something happened… something about a water balloon? But I wasn't sure."
Gil scowled.
"It was just a totally awesome joke. It was nothing! But he's being unbelievably lame about it. Everyone is. I mean, no one laughed. It was funny!"
"I heard that Italian guy was there."
"Yeah, he got splashed a bit." He smiled fondly. "The guy's brother was there too, and he got so mad, it was hilarious, Erzi. I swear, you'd never know they were related if they weren't, like, practically identical. All the swearing!That brother guy could make my grandpa blush, and you know what he's like."
Erzi was watching him closely.
"Right. And how is your grandpa? And your Mom and Dad?"
His face darkened. "My asshole parents? Why do you even need to ask? They're busy being assholes, as usual."
She hummed agreement and plucked a blade of grass before trying to thread it through another one.
"I mean, if they were going to split, I wish they'd just get on with it."
"Right."
"I've almost finished high school, anyway. I don't even care. I don't!" he added forcefully as she finally met his eye.
"Of course not," she agreed calmly. "But what about Luddi? If they split, would they… The custody… He must be worried, right?"
He tore up a clod of earth and grass and hurled it against the tree, refusing to look at her.
"Who cares? He hates me, anyway."
Some instinct prompted him to turn his head just in time to see a fist rocketing towards his face. He threw himself to one side, sacrificing his shoulder to save his nose.
"Holy fuck, Erzi! What the hell was that?"
"You were being pathetic." She was breathing a little heavily and there was a dangerous gleam in her eye.
"What! I am not – fuck, I think you gave me a dead arm!"
"You are being pathetic," she surveyed him coolly. "My friend is awesome. He would not be snivelling under some tree, like Francis,or something. You tell me where Gil is when you find him. Idiot!"
She started to get up.
"You weren't there, Erzi. You didn't hear him." His voice was very small and un-awesome.
Erzi settled back down next to him.
"He doesn't hate you, Gil. You know that's crazy. Just apologise, then he'll apologise, then you'll be hugging and crying like you always do then you'll write all about it later in your diary."
"I do not! It's not –"
She put out a hand to stop him, looking him in the eye seriously. "Gil. You're a massive douche – "
"Thanks."
" – But he doesn't care. I mean, even I don'tcare." She patted his knee comfortingly. "He'll definitely forgive you."
"You think so?" His voice most certainly did not waver.
Erzi just smiled and offered him her hand. "Come on. I think I've had enough of school today. Let's skip. It's only gym left, anyway."
Gil took her hand, letting her haul him to his feet. "So we'll go to yours, then? I will definitely beat you at Warcaft this time! You and your dorky boyfriend."
"You wish! Your armies will never defeat mine!"
They were slinking past the Staff Car Park when he nudged her shoulder, grinning slyly.
"So you admit it, then? I am awesome."
She just rolled her eyes. "Idiot. Let's go."