A/N: I'm just rambling. Of course I would love to know what you think so review away. I know this "theme" or thought has been written about and is out there but this just kinda cropped up today in my mind and thought I would put it on paper...er...screen. :)
Elsie watches Anna with her new baby. Her heart swells with pride and love for both of them. Of course Anna had nearly become like a daughter to her over the years. She certainly held her in the highest regard and now that Anna and Mr. Bates had embarked on the responsibility of parenthood, Elsie was especially emotional toward the pair and their new bairn.
"Take him Mrs. Hughes." Anna hands little Jonathan Charles to the woman that was as much a mother to her as her own. "It will give me a chance to clean up the breakfast dishes."
Elsie takes the baby and snuggles him close. "He's grown in the last week."
"I know! It's unbelievable how fast they grow isn't it?!" Anna starts putting dishes from the table in the sink.
Elsie's heart aches just a bit at her words. She had certainly heard plenty of woman say their bairns grew too fast. She had experienced a little bit of that with her nieces and nephews but she didn't know it as a mother and for some reason that made her sad just now.
Anna returns to the table with a hot kettle and pours Elsie a cup. "He's such a good baby. I'm having to wake him up to nurse at night. I'm tempted to let him sleep. We are quite exhausted."
"I'm sure you are. How is Mr. Bates getting along?" Elsie never takes eyes off the baby, she nuzzles his cheek and coos softly at him.
"He's tired naturally but he is so good with him. He will change his nappies and get up with me in the night." Anna watches Elsie and smiles. "How are you and Mr. Carson getting on?"
Elsie finally does look at her. "We are fine love."
Anna grins while wiping down the table. "I can't imagine Mr. Carson...married. How is he? Has he softened at all?"
Elsie blushes slightly and begins to rock gently in her chair. "He's wonderful. And yes he has softened. Marriage does him good I think," she answers almost wistfully.
Anna observes that Elsie is quieter than usual and maybe a little bit melancholy. She wonders silently what it all means, prays it wasn't them having trouble. "Let's go into the sitting room. It's more comfortable." Anna takes baby Jonathan and leads them into the small sitting area off the kitchen. The baby begins to fuss and she adjusts comfortably, covering her self to nurse him.
"I'm glad to see you're getting on so well. You are a natural at motherhood. I always knew you would be." Elsie smiles and can't help but watch the bundled lad under the blanket at her breast. "Will you miss service? Do you think?"
"I don't think I will Mrs. Hug...Mrs. Carson." Anna grins. "I'm sorry..."
"Anna, why don't you call me Elsie? We haven't a reason between us for propriety any longer."
"That's true. It might take me a bit of time and it's just I have so much respect for you..." She fusses a bit.
"Oh get away with you." Elsie flips her hand up casually. "Times are changing...the business of servants is changing and much to Mr. Carson's chagrin, I'll tell you. He can't hardly stand it!"
Anna laughs. "I'm sure he can't. Mr. Bates...John...has a harder time with than he lets on. He complains when he gets home."
"I didn't take long before they cut back to him, Charles and Molesley. The family has gotten so independent. Of course the Dowager won't hear of it when she is in the house but most of them have adjusted to this life without as much help."
"I suppose Baxter is overwhelmed." Anna states.
"I think she does okay. I go in and help her with books still...just twice a week. Mrs. Patmore helps her with a lot of the duties I used to have. It's definitely a different place than when we were there Anna."
"Yeah it is. But you're happy? You're glad you left when you and Mr. Carson married?"
She smiles. "I am. I will be honest and tell you I didn't think I would be. Charles insisted, didn't want both of us working those long hours and I was reluctant at first but it's nice. I love being a wife, something I never thought would happen." Elsie smooths the front of her dress. "I love cooking and sewing. I've almost got his gown for the baptism finished." She nods toward Anna and the nursing child.
"I can't wait to see it. I know it will be beautiful...Elsie." Anna finishes nursing the baby and gets up to join her on the settee. She gives Jonathan back to Elsie, sits and puts her arm around her. "Mrs Hughes...Elsie...will you be Jonathan's surrogate grandmother? I have talked to John and we wanted to talk to both you and Mr. Carson but I wanted to ask you, while it is just you and me. Will you be the grandparents to our children?"
Elsie's breath hitches in the back of her throat and her blue eyes become watery. "Oh Anna that is so dear of you." She glances down at the tiny boy, his eyes wide and little tongue moving in and out of his mouth. She smooths her finger across his chin and leans down to kiss his nose.
"You don't have to answer right now. Talk to Mr. Carson and see..."
"Of course we will be this wee bairn's grandparents! Of course we will..." She took Anna's hand and squeezes it gently and Anna pulls Elsie to her in a hug.
"Thank you." Both of them are crying now and laughing, watching the baby.
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Elsie gently massages the tight muscles at the base of Charles' neck and along his stiff shoulder blades. He finishes the last of his sherry and reaches up and takes one of her hands in his, brings it to his lips. "Mmmm...come here." He pulls on her and she circles his favorite leather chair. Charles pats his thigh and she sits, bringing her arms around his shoulder.
Without speaking Elsie leans down and their lips touch. She instinctively reaches up and smooths her hand at his forehead and fingers a loose curl. "How was your day my darling?"
His hand rests gently on her bottom and he leans his head against her chest. "Tiring. Long. Lonely without you."
"That good eh?" She smiles and palms his cheek.
"How was yours?" His hands wandering over her lower back.
"It was good. I went to visit Anna and the baby."
"Oh you did? How is the little fella getting along?" His smile and genuine enthusiasm about the new little addition made her so happy.
"He's such a little darling. I can't get enough of him. Anna is well, looks well, says they are exhausted but happy. How does John seem?"
"I would imagine like any proud Papa. He struts around with a goofy smile on his face, don't know if that's exhaustion or elation!" They both chuckled. "No..he seems rather pleased with life right now."
Elsie can't help the melancholy that washes over her suddenly and she feels emotion welling up inside her so she leaves his lap and goes to her sewing chair.
He notices. Doesn't call it out. He knows. She has had these sudden swings since the baby was born. He knows because he feels it too. He feels the brunt of the guilt too that they will not have children of their own. It was something he never considered in all his years of pining after her, not really. But now. Now that they had married and shared themselves, physically, emotionally, the sting was harsh. Bliss had come. The realization of their love and how deep it runs for both of them was pure bliss. The consummation of their marriage had been indescribable, gratifying beyond their wildest imaginings but there had been a good deal of emotional issues to deal with and this, while they have not talked about it, has cropped up.
"Why don't we go to bed pet." Charles kicks his shoes off and then his socks and tucks them into his shoes.
Still trying to stave off the emotion caught in her throat, Elsie doesn't look at him but has picked up the christening gown she has been working on for baby Jonathan. "I want to try and finish this smocking before I do."
He watches her for a moment. "I could stay up, stay here with you."
"No love, you go on. You've had a busy day and tomorrow will be no different." She finally is able to look at him and gives him a tender smile.
He walks over and leans down and kisses her lips. "Alright then. Don't be too long, you know I can't sleep well without you beside me."
"How did you ever manage the 100 years before me?" She teases.
"Very funny..."
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