I haven't written anything in a long time, but I'm back into Hetalia at the moment and want to bang out some fics I've dreamed up. Some are from when I first entered the fandom, but others-like this one-are newer plots that have come to me through some life experience. Let's just say I can totally relate to Feliciana here and I'm sure I'm not the only lesbian who has wasted plenty of time dating men who feels that way.

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

"Yeah, I work in the finance sector, but when I'm not working, I'm usually at the gym. I like to stay fit, you know? Skipping leg day is…"

Her third date this week and yet she was pretty sure she'd had this conversation with six different men in the past seven days. Already, she was starting to tune him out, sipping a glass of prosecco politely, lips upturned in a flirtatious and attentive smile though anyone who knew the charming Italian could tell by her blank stare she wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention. It didn't matter much to the man across from her. What she thought wasn't so much important compared to how she looked on their first date.

Call her a flirt, a ditz, a space case so far away from Earth she might as well be an astronaut-the northern half of Italy was not the moron most accused her of being.

As Monika had once said, "...You're pretty smart."

This guy only cared about her looks and how he must come off with an Italian beauty like her on his arm. She could be any other pretty woman and it wouldn't matter much. When did men actually start to fall in love? Feliciana couldn't remember a time she really ever felt like someone's attraction to her was more than just skin deep. Well, except for Holy Roman Empire, but that was a girl, so it probably didn't count...

"Mmm…" she hummed, signaling to her companion she was listening to his droning on about...what was it now? Fishing? His love of hiking? Not that any of it really mattered. Her mind was off in another place already. There would definitely be no second date after tonight.

In fact, the thought of wasting any more time with this wet blanket made her so sad she could cry right into her pasta. At least the pasta was good, the only blissful part of this excursion.

"You know, pasta has a lot of carbs...You don't eat it too often, right? I mean, you really shouldn't. It'll make you fat and-! W-wait, where are you going?"

"You're a stupid bastard is what you are," Romano grumbled into his cell phone as a certain Spaniard tried to convince him he 'really is cool'. His hands were occupied rummaging for leftover pizza. Stupid Feliciana ditching him to go out on another stupid date. Now he had to eat cold pizza. "Yeah, yeah, I'll come over tomorrow, just shut up alread-AGH!"

Both the pizza and the phone went crashing to the floor, dropped by the startled Italian man as he clutched his heart.

"Ve~! Big brother, you dropped your pizza! That's such a waste!"

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S A WASTE!" he snapped back at his younger sister, surprised to find her head slumped against their kitchen bar lazily. He hadn't even heard her come in. Had Japan been teaching her the ninja arts? "Che palle! Now what am I supposed to eat, huh?! This is all your fault!"

Feliciana whined. She just wanted a bit of brotherly affection after a rough night, but it was hopeless to expect Romano to give that to her so easily if she wasn't downright distraught. He was pretty dense. A melancholy act wouldn't push him to do much more than lob a tomato vaguely in her direction.

"Weren't you talking to Antonio? I'm sure he'd make you something if you only asked! When it comes to seeing you and making you happy, he moves fast as lightning!" It was pretty cute, actually. Maybe she should date a guy like that. Many nights Feliciana had heard their hushed whispers, and the Spaniard's not-so-hushed serenades. It was good her brother had someone like that for himself, even if it was another man.

I guess Monika makes me sausages when I'm hungry. They're sort of disgusting, but not so bad. At least she lets me eat pasta whenever I want… That guy was lucky she hadn't slugged him.

"Don't say such idiotic things!" her brother snapped, bringing her out of her thoughts. "That lazy, rotten tomato bastard can suck my balls!"

"I'm sure he does," Feliciana casually let slip, swiveling on the bar stool, her elbows resting against the cool tile. Three, two, one...

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!"

Glancing over her shoulder with a coy look in her eye, Feliciana smirked. "Ve? Are you not together that way? Then maybe I should start flirting with Antonio instead of wasting my time with all these other guys. After all, wouldn't dating another nation be easier? And Spain really is a good looking country…"

She held her brother's gaze as she teased him and watched as his outraged expression slowly faded. His lower lip twitched, his eyes softened, and for a second she thought he might cry. He really was pathetic sometimes, her big brother…

But in an instant, his trademark annoyance coupled with begrudging acceptance returned-it was a curious look only he could pull off so effortlessly. But what was the point in hiding his relationship with Antonio when she already knew so much? Didn't Romano know by now she loved him no matter what, no matter who he was and who he chose to be with? She hoped after a few centuries of being siblings he would allow for some gentle teasing, but perhaps it was too soon. Spain might have legalized gay marriage, but for the Italian siblings, they rarely spoke so candidly about it.

"So...Another date went poorly? Hmph. It's not surprising. All men are idiots, even if you do fall in love with one. You should stop looking," Romano advised, disappearing behind the counter to clean up the remnants of his pizza. At least in his own way he was admitting his true feelings. She felt just a little bit proud of him, even if he was trying to discourage her.

Feliciana sat up straighter on her stool, enough so that she could see the back of her brother's head while she talked with him. "Oh? And should I become a homo like you?" she teased gently, hoping to make a bit of progress.

She was prepared for the blowback, but this time Romano kept his voice even as he greeted her offensive teasing with some of his own. "No. You should get married and become a pregnant Italian housewife. It's what Nonno would have wanted. He must be rolling in his grave knowing what a tramp you've become."

The corners of her lips turned up into a smile. "How can I get married and become pregnant if I can't meet a single decent guy? If I never date? I think Grandpa Rome is going to come back to haunt us no matter what I do."

Did Monika's Opa haunt her and Gilbert? Sometimes she thought she heard the sound of an old man breaking into her house-once she even swore she caught Monika talking to him. She had meant to ask, but upon waking to find that Monika was sleeping in past her, she'd raced off to proudly notify Japan she'd woken up before Germany for once.

Romano sighed, stood, and threw the dirty kitchen rag he had been using into the sink. "Listen, Feli…" he started, a bit more serious than she was used to. "Sometimes love takes a long time. Even when it comes, it's not always easy." He faced her properly and crossed his arms over his chest, the way he always did when he was laying down some big brotherly advice. "The love of your life may not be here yet, or maybe they are but you just haven't realized because you're not old enough, or they're too young." Personal experience, no doubt. "You don't always have to try so hard. Sometimes, all you have to do is...open yourself up to the possibilities…And the love you seek will come."

Feliciana smiled warmly at her older brother. What crappy generic advice…Monika would have punched Gilbert for saying something so obvious. "So what should I do now~?"

He shrugged and his familiar sour look came back to his face. How cute. He was a little embarrassed, wasn't he? "What the hell do I look like, a fortune teller? Just be patient, dammit! And make me something to eat! You owe me!"

"Hm...I don't really want to though…"

"You-you-!" His rage flared. His little sister always got away with everything, with everyone. Even now, she was slinking off the bar stool and out the door in that bouncy, effortless way of hers. "Where the hell do you think you're going?!"

"To Monika's~!"

Who else could she go to for advice and comfort all at once with minimal yelling? It was silly to even come home in the first place.

"The potato bitch?" He quickly glanced at the clock. "It's ten at night already!"

"Si!" What was the problem with that? She practically lived at Monika's place when she wasn't home. Feliciana never complained about Romano spending an equal amount of time at Antonio's place. "Don't wait up, big brother~! Invite Antonio over! You can be as loud as you want!"

A string of angry curses followed her out the door and she was pretty sure she narrowly avoided getting a tomato to the face, but it was worth it. But perhaps Romano was a fortune teller after all. As soon as the door slammed shut and the tomato had fallen to the ground (he'd make Antonio clean it), he muttered, "...I swear, if she falls for her, I'm going to cut out her eyes and feed them to her dogs!"

The only thing worse than Feliciana dating a man was Feliciana dating a kraut.

"And then he told me I shouldn't eat so much pasta! It was horrible!"

Monika grunted as she continued to braid her Italian friend's hair, a hairband sticking out from between her teeth as she worked. Even she knew what a dating faux pas it was to comment on what your date was eating. Based on Feliciana's stories, men truly were idiots. She was almost glad so few even glanced in her direction, let alone hit on her.

"You have the right idea, Monika. Staying in with some alcohol, taking a bubble bath...A glass of wine in a bathtub surrounded with candles, luxurious bath salts and oils thrown in...Even just by yourself, that's way more romantic a night!"

The German rolled her eyes as she finally pulled the hair tie from her mouth to complete Feliciana's braid. Her 'romantic night' had consisted of running five miles since there was no Italian to bother her between every lap, cleaning her entire house, and then kicking back with a beer in her bathtub as a way to unwind. There hadn't been anything as fancy as wine or candles. "You make it sound like I was enjoying my Friday night alone."

"Weren't you? I assumed you were pleasuring yourself."

"Don't say things like that so casually!" Monika barked, a blush painting her face as she accidentally pulled on the Italian's hair, making her yelp. "Jeez! What's wrong with you? I was just taking a bath after training! Nothing more!"

She knew that, but it was fun to see Monika get all worked up. It was well worth the slight pain in her scalp. "It was fun seeing you all wet when you answered the door!" Feliciana was an artist and she appreciated a fine human figure. She'd never seen a woman like Monika before in her entire life-simultaneously soft curves and hard edges. She sported a full bosom, had curves to her waist, but her abs were sharp and arms strong. Thanks to what Monika had been wearing as she opened the door, Feliciana had seen it all. "But in nothing but a black sports bra and some shorts? Were you expecting someone after all? It's not right to answer the door all sexy like that, you know. People might get the wrong idea."

What's with this girl? Germany buried her face in her hands, trying to hide the color in her cheeks. "I was expecting you."

"...So you were all sexy for me?" There was just something about pushing Monika's buttons that was oh so satisfying.

"Idiot!" Her face was so close now. "If I don't open the door for you, you just break in!"

So cute. So cute! Even as she was being scolded, Feliciana couldn't help but smile.

Just as Monika was about to break off into a full-blown lecture about breaking and entering, Feliciana realized, "You know...I'd rather be here, getting yelled at by you, every night of the week than go out with any guy."

For some reason, that shut the German woman right up. Her mouth opened, then closed, and she turned another brilliant shade of pink. It took her a moment, but Monika finally found the will to speak. "D-don't say things like that…"

"Why? It's true." And it was. The more Feliciana reflected on her words, the more conviction she had about them. "Hanging out with you is the most fun I've had in centuries, and no matter how many years pass by, I still love hanging out with you! I never want to leave your side. Having to find a date….Well, it's just a chore when I'd rather be here."

She smiled brightly at Monika, expecting her friend to have that same bashful look on her face like she normally did. However, she was surprised to find her blonde friend staring at her sadly, a tight frown across her face. "...Feliciana...Haven't you ever loved anyone before?"

"Well, sure…" the Italian started, watching carefully as Monika's fingers dug into her shorts. For some reason, she felt a little nervous as she slowly confessed, "But...It was another girl…"

One moment of silence passed until it became two, then three…

"Monika?"

…

"Monika, you're really starting to freak me out, um…"

There's at least one more part to this story. Not nearly enough explicit GerIta this chapter.