AN: With the permission of BellaRose55 I took the basic plot line from her story Turning Tables and changed it from Finchel to Puckleberry. You guys should go check it out. I'll admit I'm not a fan of Finchel, really at all, but her story is absolutely amazing. It is the first and only Finchel story I have ever read. I actually like Finn and Rachel together in her story. But Puckleberry is still who I ship.
Rachel POV:
Let me start out by saying there is a part of everyone that they keep hidden because they're afraid that if people found out then they would be ridiculed and have no friends. Well the same it true for me except that there are 5 people who know my secret and 2 of those people found out only a year ago. Anyway my secret really would destroy the already fragile friendships that I have with the Glee club. The only the people who know it are my dads (of course they won't judge me), my boyfriend Noah Puckerman who I've been dating for a year and half (he found out by mistake one afternoon), Noah's mom (was my nurse in the aftermath patient confidentiality is why Noah didn't know sooner), and Noah's sister (was with Noah one afternoon and found out by mistake).
What's my secret? Well don't be disgusted and no judging but I'm a teenage mother. How? I was raped by my exes best friend. Yes Jesse St. James' best friend raped me. All this happened right before I started high school 3 years ago so my son, Emmanuel, which means God is with us, is 2 years old. Jesse and I knew of each other from constantly competing against each other growing up and occasionally staring in the same plays but I didn't know until I dated Jesse when Manny was a baby that it was his best friend, Joseph McIntire, who raped me.
I never intended to date Jesse because I had Emmanuel, Manny for short, to look after and at the time I officially met Jesse he was only 2 weeks old and I was still trying to cope with the trauma and with being a new mom. But Jesse was just so charming and charismatic that after talking to him for a few hours in the music store and an impromptu performance I found myself agreeing to have coffee with him on Friday after school. Anyway we only dated for a few weeks because it was on one of our coffee dates that Jesse said something that made me run away and never look back.
He said "I have to go soon. I'm meeting up with Joseph. He really shouldn't be alone because he's having a hard time. A year ago he met this girl and they hit it off right away, spending hours talking and just hanging out. He never really got her name and she never got his but they ended up hooking up, well actually he said he had to force her to calm down and realize she wanted it but that's beside the point. Anyway afterwards she took off and didn't look back or even ask for his number or leave him her number and then he found out a few months after that through town gossip that she was pregnant with his kid but wouldn't say who the father was simply claiming that the experience of the child's conception was too tough for her to talk about. Those were her words by the way. Anyway he's tore up about it because to him that was a beautiful night and then she abandoned him and then refused to acknowledge he was the father to her unborn kid. Chick was psycho and heartless if you ask me." After hearing that I was numb on the inside because I finally had a name to go with my attacker but worse than that was the fact that I was sitting across the table from my attacker's best friend listening to this made up sob story my attacker had fed to his best friend, who believed that crap. I calmly told Jesse that if he felt that way then he needed to be there for his friend but that I couldn't be around him anymore because I felt like there was more to the story than what his friend was telling him and it could be incriminating and I refused to be anywhere remotely near that. Then I promptly left without a real goodbye or even a look back and the next day I had my dad's un-list our phone number and address and change my cell phone number.
About 3 months later Noah and I started dating and the rest is quite simple. About 2 months into dating Noah he came over unannounced to surprise me one afternoon. I'd had to cancel hanging out with him because Emmanuel was sick and my dad's were both busy at work but Noah didn't know about Manny so I'd told him I had too much to do at home. So anyway he came over to help me out with what I was so busy with and so we could hang out at the same time. Well my dad's mom, my savta, happened to have come by to visit me and bring me some dinner and Noah showed up as she was leaving and knowing who he was she let him in not knowing he had no idea about Emmanuel. Anyway at the time I was upstairs in Manny's nursery feeding him before heating up my food. When Noah couldn't find me downstairs he came upstairs and walked in just as I was turning around to put Manny on the changing table. Knowing that I didn't like for him to sneak up on me he knocked on the door to let me know he was there. When I turned around still holding Manny he was definitely surprised, to say the least. Anyway he helped me finish cleaning up Emmanuel and got him ready for bed while I ate, it was already 8 at night but I'd been busy with Manny practically all afternoon so this was the first chance I'd gotten to eat since lunch time, 8 hours ago, and since I was still breast feeding him some I needed to keep up with my meals and nutrition. Anyway once Noah got Manny down he came downstairs to talk to me. I explained everything, with a bunch of tears because even over a year later it was still hard to face. Anyway Noah wasn't happy I had been hiding this from him but at the same time he understood how hard it must be to know that I had a 8 month old son at 16 and he was the result of being raped at 14 and half years old. In the end because of everything Noah said he would support me and Manny because he couldn't imagine what it would be like to go through that and he couldn't be upset about it too much since I was in fact raped.
Anyway all that brings me to the first Glee club meeting of my junior year. As always I get there early, just like all my classes. But I don't get there that early for the reason everyone thinks, to be over-prepared and overbearing, no it's that I want to be warmed up but more so that I like to avoid being in crowds as much as possible. I HATE being in crowds because in a crowd there's no way for me to know whose who and where they are exactly so there's a possibility of Joseph being around and I just can't stand that idea. Usually Noah would come with me because I don't really like being alone either, in case Joseph did show up, but he had to meet with the new football coach, Shannon Beiste, about leaving practice early on Wednesday's, he picked Emmanuel up from daycare on Wednesday's so I can work at the Breadstix in Columbus for a few hours after school. Anyway I was sitting alone in the choir room after school on the first Monday of September waiting on Noah and Glee Club practice and just trying to stay calm. It was moments, like these, when I was all alone that I tended to freak out (even worse than when I was in public) because I could just picture Joseph sneaking up on me and raping me again and then proceeding to kidnap Manny from me. So anyway I was sitting there waiting on Noah and Glee Club trying to keep myself calm when the sudden and loud noise that always comes when Mercedes and Kurt, you'd think I'd be used to it but I'm not, are around startles me. I literally fall out of my chair and am trembling uncontrollably when they walk in to the choir room.
All it takes is one tiny whimper from me before they notice me and begin the ridicule. "What are you practicing to play Eponine in Les Mis or something diva? You really are pathetic always practicing and practicing your singing and acting but you never improve and you never seem to be in crowds so how do you expect to make it to New York and Broadway if you can't even be in hallways of a tiny high school in a small town in Ohio?" Kurt sneers as Mercedes just guffaws besides him and manages to add "So true Kurt. White girl can't dress either and you know how stars are supposed to be fashionable. She's demented and the worst part of it is that she actually believes she can sing better than us. Come on let's take our fabulousness away before her Rachel-ness rubs off on us."
Well by that point I'm full on sobbing because first of all I was subjected to a quick flashback of the night Joseph raped me and then Kurt and Mercedes' hurtful words cut me deeper than usual because normally they steer away from crushing my dreams and stick to ridiculing my clothes and my excessive need to sing, it calms me down to sing so I fight for every solo and duet I can, but not today. Over the next few minutes the rest of the Glee club trickles in by groups of two or three mostly, but a few like Sam, come in by themselves. Anyway it's when Mike walks in with Tina that someone finally comes over to me to see if everything is ok. Sam and Matt are a few minutes behind Mike and Tina and then they're also beside me. "Rach are you ok? It's me Mikey. I'm not going to hurt you I just want to make sure your ok." Mike says calmly and slowly approaches me. And no he doesn't know I was raped but being like a brother to me along with Matt and Sam they have some idea of how to act around me especially when I get like this. They also know that something happened between me and a guy that made me feel so uncomfortable in general but because I refuse to tell anyone outside of my therapist, doctor and those who already know they have no clue exactly what happened. "M-m-m-mi-ii-ik-k-k-k-ke-e-e-ey-y-y where are Matty and Sammy, and Noah? I really need Noah right now." I sob once I realize who is talking to me. "We're right here Rachey." Matt and Sam reply in unison before Matt continues "and Noah's on his way, Coach Bieste was running late to their meeting because of Sue. He'll be here in a few minutes. Just talk to us. We can't help you if we don't know what's wrong." "Yeah, Rach we're right here for you. Just please tell us what happened. We can go out in the hall way and you can whisper it to me, Matt and Mike if it helps you to feel more comfortable. We just want you to be happy and to never be upset like this EVER." Sam adds.
"Oh-k-k-ka-ay. Let's go in the hallway though please." I sniffle after a few seconds of trying to compose myself while Mike, Sam, and Matt slowly inch closer to me and then each of them slowly wrap me into a hug. We exit the choir room and walk across the hallway and down a few doors so that no one can eaves drop on us. We come to stop, unintentionally, beside mine and Noah's lockers and when I've finally composed myself enough to speak without stumbling over my words, at least not really because now I'm interrupted by a round of hiccups, I begin to tell the guys, who are like brothers to me, what upset me. Well I tell them a highly abridged version since they don't know about Manny and my rape. I basically tell them I was startled by Kurt and Mercedes so much I fell out of my chair and was scared, true just not the entire truth, and then once they realized I was there how they insulted me. I told them all of this in about a minute but they were fuming when I was done, because no one messes with their little sister and gets away with it. I may be hated around McKinley but between having Matt, Mike, and Sam as my brothers practically since coming here and Noah as a boyfriend I'm untouchable in terms of physical bullying but that doesn't stop the comments, pornographic pictures, cyber bullying, and remarks about the lifestyle of my fathers. Anyway it's just as they are saying what they are going to do to Kurt and Mercedes that Noah walks up to us asking what's going on. All it takes is for him to look at my tear stained face and still trembling body and listen to the remarks made by Sam, Matt and Mike about Kurt and Mercedes for him to roughly figure out what happened while he was in his meeting with Coach Bieste.
Noah quickly and gently wraps me up in his arms whispering to me that everything is going to be ok and how talented and beautiful I am for me to slowly stop the remaining tears and calm down enough to stop trembling. Mike, Matt, and Sam walk away, enough to give us some privacy but don't go back to the choir room yet, so Noah asks me exactly what happened and again I say what happened quickly only I tell Noah everything. When I'm done the tears are shining in my eyes again so Noah pulls me to him gently and kisses my hairline while he once again whispers how amazing I am and gently rubs my back. We spend maybe a minute like that before heading back to the choir room with Mike, Sam, and Matt. When we get to the door Noah whispers that everything will be ok but for me to go with Matt, the calmest of the guys, so I don't get scared by what he's about to say.
"BEYONCE. ARETHA. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY TO MY GIRL JUST NOW? AND DON'T TELL ME NOTHING BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T ACT LIKE THAT OVER FUCKING NOTHING." Noah boomed out while Mike and Sam were cracking their knuckles and glaring at Kurt and Mercedes. "We didn't say anything. She just overreacted to a conversation Mercedes and I were having between us. I mean can't a person tell their friend when someone has committed a fashion crime? And Mercedes was simply lamenting the fact that Rachel ALWAYS get's the solo's and duets around here even though we're both much better singers." Kurt replied trying to act all nonchalant but anyone could see he was scared of what Puck, Sam and Mike might do to him, not to mention Matt when he got the chance. Noah scoffed audibly at Kurt but before he could say anything else Mr. Schue rushed in late as usual. "Ok guys let's get started... Wait why are Rachel and Matt standing by the door and why do Sam, Mike and Puck look like they could kill Mercedes and Kurt? GUYS what is going on here?" Mr. Schue admonishes after his usual greeting. "Rachel overreacted to a conversation Kurt and I were having earlier and her 4 little lap dogs are doing her dirty work as usual." Mercedes sneered. "THAT'S IT. I don't care if Aretha is a girl and Beyonce is feminine 'M getting 'em both. Schue they scared Rachel when they came in here, loud and obnoxious as usual no doubt, and then proceeded(get off his balls he uses big words now and again, it comes with dating Rachel) to insult her and belittle(again it comes from dating Rachel) her. Schue they always do things like this to her and I KNOW it get's to her, just like it would get to anyone, but you and EVERY OTHER teacher in this place just let it slide by because there's no physical violence. Well sometimes the emotional stuff is worse than getting hurt physically and if anyone is a trooper for putting up with this CRAP it's Rachel. It's about time someone DID something so if we have to teach them a lesson physically I damn well will because Rachel of all people deserves WAY BETTER than how these fuckers treat her here." Noah raged at the teacher. "Calm down Puck. And you better watch that language. Rachel is what Puck said really true?" Mr. Schue tried to be diplomatic about the situation but asking Rachel seemed to only anger Kurt and Mercedes more. "Ye-yea-yes. Mr. Ss-sch-ue ww-wh-ah-t N-no-ah sa-id w-wa-as t-tr-rue." Rachel was now crying again because what Noah said truly reminded her of how bad things were for at McKinley, even if she pretended it didn't get to her.
But before Mr. Schuester could even respond Mercedes and Kurt just had to open their mouths, again. "Oh PUH-lease. She's just looking to have all the attention. Getting all the solo's and duets isn't enough anymore. Now she has to turn the you against us too Mr. Schue. She's just a little attention whore." Mercedes scoffed while Kurt agreed. "THAT'S IT YOU TWO ARE GOING DOWN. RACHEL IS NOT AN ATTENTION WHORE. IF YOU KNEW EVEN HALF OF THE SHI..sorry CRAP SHE PUT UP WITH AND THE BAGGAGE SHE HAS TO CARRY AROUND THEN MAYBE JUST MAYBE YOU'D KNOW HOW SHE FEELS AND WHY SHE ACTS THE WAY SHE DOES." Noah raged. Matt, Mike and Sam even looked a little surprised at Noah saying this but agreed none the less. "GUYS ENOUGH! Mercedes, Kurt go to my office NOW. You two can NOT keep doing this to Rachel, but, obviously nothing will get figured out or fixed with you here upsetting Rachel and in effect Puck, Matt, Mike, and Sam. And Puck, Sam, Matt, and Mike you guys have GOT to calm down at least until we get this figured out. Glee's canceled since half of you guys can't be in the same room without craziness going on. Unless you're Mike, Puck, Matt, Sam, Rachel, Mercedes, or Kurt leave now. And Kurt and Mercedes go to my office NOW!" Mr. Schue was clearly exasperated at this latest development and he wasn't playing around either. Kurt and Mercedes shut up from their scoffing and walked calmly if a bit loudly, they mumbled to each other about how unfair it was the entire way there, out of the room and into Mr. Schue's office.
"Ohhhh-kayyyy!" Mr. Schue breathed out as they left the room and Puck, Mike, Sam and Matt all immediately deflated and calmed down. All four boys also turned their full attention to Rachel who was once again shaking and crying. "Schue I know you wanna get this shi-tuff figured out today but can you like give us a little bit of time first? Rach is upset and she won't be able to talk to you clearly if she's upset. You can even go talk to loud and louder first if you want. Actually talking to them first might be best for everyone involved 'cause we can calm down ourselves and Rach and they won't feel like you're, as they would probably put it, 'automatically' siding with us. Please Schue I think that would be best for all involved. Maybe even take a few minutes to yourself out in the hallway where the terrible two can see you and that you're taking some time to yourself before figuring this situation out." Noah said. "I will definitely give you guys time to calm down Rachel and cool off yourselves first for sure. And you know that whole plan's actually a pretty good idea Puck. I'll be in the hallway if you guys need me." Mr. Schue responded sounding somewhat surprised at Puck's suggestion being a good one.
Once Mr. Schue was cooling off himself Puck walked over to Rachel and wrapped her in his strong arms before guiding her over to chair on the risers where he say down pulling her into his lap. He rubbed her back and arms gently while whispering sweet assurances into her ear. He even occasionally kissed her hairline or neck with just as much gentleness as if she were a baby. After about 5 minutes of this Rachel was calm again which allowed the guys to calm down as well; they were like Rachel's guard dogs in that way, if she was upset or distressed they were ready to hurt whoever or whatever was causing her to feel that way (especially Sam and Puck). It was only once both Rachel and the guys had calmed down, about 10 minutes after Schue left that they noticed him re-entering the choir room and head towards his office, presumably to talk with Kurt and Mercedes.
While Mr. Schue was busy with Kurt and Mercedes Rachel idly plucked at the piano and eventually began playing "You are my Sunshine" and singing along quietly which is what really began to relax her, at least until her phone rang. That was when the real issue came up.
"Rachel I'm sorry to do this but your dads and Debbie are at work, both your sets of grandparents are on vacation and I don't feel comfortable leaving him with Arin all by themselves. But my mom's in the hospital and I have to go sign some paper for surgery or something, I don't know all I heard when the EMT's called was bad-wreck, not her fault, unconscious, and critical condition from what they could tell. I didn't know what else to do." Manny's baby sitter, Amelia sobbed over the phone to Rachel. "No, no, no that's not your fault. I'm glad you called me. Look I'm caught up at school with Noah for right now but send him and Arin across the street to Miss Baker's until we can come get them. Hopefully we'll be home with dinner and 2 hours tops. You go be with your mom, that's important." Rachel stated calmly while actually panicking on the inside. In the two years since she'd had Manny he had never been without her, Noah, one of her dad's, or Amelia there; yes he's been around Arin and Miss Baker before but not without one of above mentioned people there so he felt comfortable. Oh well there wasn't much she could do now.
"Noah can you go see what's taking Mr. Schue so long with Kurt and Mercedes we really need to leave as soon as possible." Rachel pleaded with her boyfriend. "Sure baby but what's wrong you seem worried? It's not something to do with Kurt and Mercedes and that whole situation is it?" Noah asked worried. "No it's not that. It's just we NEED to get home soon. The reason we have to leave as soon as possible is what that phone call was just about." She responded trying to not let Sam, Matt, and Mike know too much, they would ask questions and she didn't have time to answer them right now or anytime today really. "Ok baby but I need to know what's bothering you." Noah replied. "It's just that Amelia has to leave because her mom is in the hospital from a bad wreck. Arin can't lo-, I mean stay by herself, so I told Amelia to send her over to Miss Baker and we'd be there as soon as possible but I don't know who long Miss Baker is staying home this afternoon and I HATE relying on other people Noah." Rachel responded once again upset. "Ok, ok, Rach I'll knock on the office door but really I'm sure that since Amelia explained and dropped them off there that Miss Baker will stay home for as long as we need her to. She's good like that Rach and she's told us before that she's more than willing to help out any time we need her to." Noah said while rubbing calming circles on Rachel's back once again.
AN: I'm back. This semester of college kicked my butt. I had some assignment due, some paper to write, some reading to do for class, or something to do for my chemistry lab every time I turned around. Then when I wasn't doing school work I was having some sort of social life or trying to get at least a somewhat decent amount of sleep. When I wasn't doing one of those three things I was working on this chapter. Hope you guys enjoy it. Also I have to say once again that after reading BellaRose55's story Turning Tables I was inspired to write this. I wrote this after having PMed her to be sure she was ok with my taking her basic plot line and switching it to a Puckleberry story. This is what came of that. I encourage all my readers to check out her story because it is the one and only Finchel story I keep up with and read. She made me love Finchel in her story even though I don't like them on show. Of course even with her amazing writing skills I still ship Puckleberry. Enjoy and leave a review for me.