Hello!

This is my first Lost ficcie, and I co-wrote it with my bestest bud Nica! (short for Danica) My real name is Ashlee, and we will appear in this story.

WARNING! Jack will be bashed and Sawyer will be huggled!

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost.

It was a fine sunny day. We were outside our school dealing drugs again, when suddenly Sawyer appeared in a halo of light and sexyness.

'SAWYER!!!!!' I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Sawyer looked bloody confused and scared. One minute he had been on the island shouting abuse at Hurley, the next he was in a busy street being screamed at by two overly hormonal obsessive teenage girls.

'Shit...' Sawyer muttered as the two girls charged at him with open arms and loud voices.

'SAWYER HUGGLE TEDDY POO!!!!!!!' I screamed.

Nica started screaming too. She wasn't a huge Sawyer fangirl, but she felt like tackling a hot grown man to the ground anyway.

I tackled Sawyer to the ground and ripped his shirt off cos I felt like exposing his muscles, while Nica started cackling like a maniac. She tackled him too to hold him down, but the second we both touched HIM we disappeared into a vortex of terror and swirling colours.

'PRETTY COLOUUUUURZZZZZZ!!!!!' Nica screamed, not paying attention to the fact that we were spinning through space and time.

POP!!!

'Dude...' Hurley said, eyes wide as Sawyer appeared with two squirming, screeching girls on top of him.

Boone suddenly appeared as well. He WASN'T DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'OMG!!!! BOONEY!!!!!!!!!!!' Nica squealed like a psychopath. Because she was an avid Boone fangirl, she charged at him, tackled him and ripped his shirt off.

'Dude...' Hurley said even louder.

We started screaming for joy, and began to stagger around like drunks from the shock of it. With a loud sigh we both collapsed onto our respective hot guys.

'DUDE!!!!!' Hurley screamed. This went on for some time, until Nica hit Hurley over the head with a cricket bat.

'Stupid giant marshmallow...' she muttered.

After we had gotten over our dreams coming true, we gave them their shirts back, but they were to ripped to wear.

Sawyer began to swear for the hell of it, even though he had slightly enjoyed being attacked like that, so I swore too.

'Damn hell, shit and bitch!' I said happily.

Suddenly, we both stopped. There coming out of the shadows was CHARLIE!!!!!!!

We both started to giggle from the evil thoughts we were thinking involving Charlie and drugs.

'Hey Charlezzz!!!!' Nica screeched. 'Want some drugzzz?'

'Drugs? DrUGs? dRuGS? DrUgS? drUgS?' Charlie said, foaming at the mouth.

'YA!!!! DRUGZZZZZ!!!!!!' Nica screamed back at him, waving a packet around.

Charlie continued to foam at the mouth until he collapsed onto the sand and twitched violently.

'I think you killed him,' I said, staring at Charlie.

'NAH. He's not dead,' she picked up a long, sharp stick and prodded him in the bum a few times. 'C'mon, signs of life...' she muttered.

'See? Dead.' I said smugly.

'HE IS NOT DEAD!' Nica said firmly. She stabbed him in the arse a few more times, each jab getting increasingly more violent when...

Poooooot...

We stared at him in shock. 'Uh... did he just FART?' I asked, staring at Charlie's limp body.

'OH DEAR GOD!!!!!' Nica screamed as the terrible smell hit her nostrils.

Boone, Sawyer, Nica and I all ran from the terrible smell, leaving Hurley and Charlie to be stinky together, but just as I looked back to make sure that no giant cloud of stench was following us, Sawyer stopped. Boone crashed into Sawyer, then Nica crashed into Boone and then I crashed into Nica, went flying over everyone and skidded to a stop in the sand.

'What the F?' I said angrily, spitting out a wad of sand. 'Why'd you stop?'

I glared at Nica, but she was staring at the figure behind me. Slowly, I turned around and looked at the form behind me.

It was Jack.

Well, what do you think? Just pure madness and fangirling bliss, eh? Oh, and we DON'T deal drugs, so don't give me any nasty little reviews about that, OK? But review! Please review! PLEASE!!!! Suggestions are welcomed, and just so you know, ALL characters will be bashed, especially Jack, so, yeah.

R&R!!!!