"Batman! Batman, do you copy?"
Green Lantern's voice in comms sounded pretty panicked.
"If you want to switch the monitor duty because of the date again, Jordan, call somebody else!" Batman growled.
"No! No! Batman, we have an emergency up here! Superman..."
"What? Has he been injured?" Batman clutched the steering wheel a bit tighter.
"No, but... we just need you in Watchtower ASAP. Please hurry."
"All right," Batman sighed. "I'm heading to the nearest Zeta tube. Batman out."
Batman stomped on the gas pedal and the car shot forward even faster than before.
"Oracle, Justice League needs me in the Watchtower. I'm getting there right now and I might be out for some time. Nightwing and Robin are patrolling together in Bludhaven tonight and Red Robin and Red Hood have Gotham covered. Batgirl should be out too," he informed quickly. "Let me know if anything happens. I'll inform you as soon as I'll get the news."
Tires screeched as the car stopped in the hidden bunker and Batman jumped out. In no time he was beamed to the station hovering on Earth's orbit. He stepped out of the Zeta beams, mentally preparing for whatever could meet him there, having his Kryptonite ring prepared - just in case.
In a streak of red and gold The Flash was instantly at his side. "Gosh, I'm so glad you're here. The whole place is in uproar," the speedster gushed.
"What is the emergency?"
"Let me show you. Wow, Diana will be really happy to see you, man!"
Batman raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, as he followed Flash. Truth to be said, he was beginning to be really curious. Apparently the emergency did not involve alien invasion or something like this, so he allowed himself to relax a bit.
They were approaching the hospital wing of the Tower. More and more heroes were running and flying in the opposite direction, their worried expressions turning to relief when they spotted Batman and Flash.
"Batman, thank goodness you are here!" J'onn J'onzz exclaimed.
"All right, this is becoming ridiculous," Batman muttered, "...and creepy," he thought. What in the world could upset usually calm - and very powerful - Martian? Batman started to feel a bit uneasy. Sense of foreboding tingled his spine.
Finally they arrived to the infirmary. Flash laid his hand on the doorknob. Serious expression on his face sent another chill down Batman's spine. If J'onn being upset was... upsetting, then Flash being serious was kind of scary.
"I'm afraid you won't like what you'll see. But we have no other choice, if we don't want to have the Watchtower destroyed."
"Oh, come on, " Batman swatted Flash's hand impatiently and entered the infirmary. He was greeted by deafening "Bwooose!" He stopped still at the door and just gaped.
"I've warned you," Flash deadpanned.
Squirming in Wonder Woman's arms was a little boy about 2 years old, dressed in Superman onesie and blue tights.
"Bwuce!" the baby yelled again.
Batman found his voice at last and turned to the Flash. "I think you don't need me. You need Zatanna."
Flash was looking very uncomfortable. "Well, that's the thing. She sort of did this."
Batman resisted hardly the urge to facepalm. "Care to elaborate?"
"I don't know what he has done, but suddenly Clark was a baby and Zatanna gone. She was pretty ticked off. And then the hell went loose," Flash shivered.
Diana marched to Batman and shoved the Super-Baby in Batman's arms.
"Here! He has been shouting for you for the last hour."
"And what should I do?" said Batman, looking down at the now smiling baby, puzzled. The boy had a very familiar tuft of jet black hair and bright blue eyes.
"Well, you are the one with four kids. But I would start with changing his diapers," Diana advised and practically run out of the room.
One diaper change and one baby food battle later Bruce was completely exhausted. He was thankful that the Tower had been stocked with not only medical equipment, but also with infant clothes and food and all sizes of diapers. It was in fact his idea, but who have sneaked that ridiculous Superman outfits... well, he may have a tiny clue. He´ll make sure to have a word with Nightwing when this all is over.
Bruce was very glad that apparently Clark´s superpowers evolved later than in his infancy. Dealing with flying and laser beams shooting baby alien would be just too much. As for now, the baby managed only to hover a few inches occasionally and his grip almost broke Bruce´s finger, but thankfully that was all.
He sighed in relief, when the Super-Baby fell asleep in his arms. Now he had to find out how to fix this mess. First things first - he'll try to find Zatanna. Hopefully she calmed down a bit by now and if he asks nicely, she would remove the spell.
Bruce leaned over the baby bed in the infirmary, but as he tried to lay Clark in there, the baby squirmed and started to open his eyes.
Bruce huffed in annoyance. "You so owe me for this one, Kent," he growled silently, as he rocked the toddler back to sleep. He will have to do the search one-handed. Literally.
He decided to try the comms first. Maybe he´ll get lucky and Zatanna will answer the call.
„Zatanna, this is Batman. Do you hear me?" No answer. „Zatanna, answer to me. Do you hear me?" He paused for a moment. „Zee, please, answer to me. We... I need your help."
„Don´t you ´Zee´ me, B.!"
Batman closed his eyes and thanked the Heaven.
„Zatanna, please, could you come back to the Tower and... set everything right?"
„Well, since I – quote - ´act like a little child´, no will do."
„So that´s what he have told you? That´s what we have this little problem?"
The silence on the line was quite meaningful. Bruce felt like having a drink of something really strong would be a very good idea.
"You know I´m not that shallow. It was just the last straw."
„Zee, please, this is not funny. Do you realize what have happened? What if Darkseid chooses this exact time to invade the Earth again? Or Brainiac? Or what if anyone finds out?" Batman sounded a bit desperate now.
„Look, B., I know and I´m truly sorry. I guess a really overreacted. But don´t worry, the spell should wear off by itself soon."
Bruce felt giant stone falling off of his heart and sighed in relief.
„How soon is soon?"
„Well... few days... in humans."
„What do you mean, in humans?"
„Clark is Kryptonian. They do have a very similar body and cellular structure, but there are some differences." Batman resisted the urge to howl. Or to punch something.
„However," Zatanna continued, „I´ve noticed that every spell and curse that had been cast on him worked pretty much the same as in the others, so I´m being optimistic."
„Fine. I just have to trust you with this. But be sure we´ll talk later. Batman out."
...…
Bruce parked the Batmobile in it´s spot in the Batcave. He had to let the car drive itself. It naturally had no child seat, so Clark sat on Bruce´s lap all the way. Judging from the happy babbling, Clark was quite content about it.
Bruce got off the car and Clark immediately climbed up his chest and shoulders and perched himself behind his neck. And because Bruce still had his cowl on, the infant clutched its ears in order not to fall down. It reminded Bruce of a certain little acrobat who used to annoy him with the exactly same stunt until he grew a bit too big for it. Bruce smiled sadly and his heart panged a little at the memory. But now was not the right time. He has more urgent thing to cope with.
Bruce was thinking this through all the way home. Somebody will have to take care of Clark until he recovers. And something was telling him that taking him to Lois and Jon wouldn´t be a very good idea. Besides, apparently the only person who was able to calm Super Baby down and feed him and other stuff was Batman. Not even Diana was able to handle him – and Clark was very fond of her, at least in his adult form. But Batman has a city to protect and there was no way he would – or could – do this with infant hanging on his back. So what was the next logic step? Of course, his parents. Who else would be able – and willing – to take care of this little menace? Bruce congratulated himself to the idea as he dialed the number, now rocking Clark on his knees.
"Hello, Mrs. Kent? This is Bruce Wayne… Yes, thank you, they are fine… Yes, Alfred is… I will, thank you… Well, it's about Clark… No, he's not injured, but… Listen, would it be possible for you to come to Gotham?… Err, Clark has been turned into a baby… Again?"
If Bruce didn't hold baby Clark with one hand and the phone in the other, he would definitely face palm.
"Anyway, could you please come here and…? I see… No, I understand. I'll just take a jet to… He was what?"
Bruce wanted to bang his head on the table now. Baby Clark seemed to sense his distress and frowned at him. Then he laid his chubby hand on Dark Knight´s face to comfort him. Bruce patted it absentmindedly, as he was thinking over his next step.
"OK, I'll take the car and bring him home then if it´s all right…. Yes. Tomorrow… Thank you, Mrs… All right, Ma."
Bruce hanged up and glared down at the child resting contentedly in his arms, his blue eyes bright and smiling back widely. Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose.
"You'll have to explain how could you be scared of planes and flying as a child." Clark just giggled and hugged him tightly around the neck.
...….
Alfred appeared at the door at the exact moment Bruce finished his call. He was carrying a tray with coffee mug, sandwich, cookies, sip cup and a bowl of something that looked like mashed potatoes with a side of some unidentifiable mass. He cast a quick glance at Clark resting peacefully in Bruce´s lap. "Your protegees are indeed younger and younger, sir."
"Et tu, Alfred?" Bruce muttered, while Clark laughed and clapped his hands. "Alfie! Yum!" he cried as he spotted the food.
"It seems that… young Master Kent is quite fond of your grumbling, sir," Alfred answered with a little smile on his lips. He handed Bruce the bowl with plastic spoon and a bib. Bruce noticed, kind of relieved, it was not bearing a sign of Superman, but a picture of a bunny.
"When you are finished here, sir, may I suggest you put young Master to sleep? It is getting quite late. I have prepared a cot for him in your bedroom. And perhaps you could use some rest yourself."
Bruce gave Alfred a half-hearted Bat Glare. Alfred looked back unexcitedly.
"In my… I guess there´s no discussion about this, is it? All right, then. Thank you, Alfred"
"You are welcome sir. Good night. And good night to you too, Master Kent."
"Night-night!" Clark waved at Alfred with his plump hand.
"All right, Kent, finish your dinner and off to bed… I can´t believe I actually said this. I´m really happy Dick is in Bludhaven right now," Bruce rubbed his eyes tiredly. He must get rid of every bit of security footage before anybody – and mainly Dick - sees it.
...
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This story was originally thought to be an one shot, but it soon became longer than I expected :) I would like to thank Janahjean who inspired it - it´s propably not what you´ve had on your mind, but I hope you liked it ;) - and all the great people from Batman Writers Unite fb group.
Rewiews are welcome, and if you have suggestions or any wishes (not only) for this story, feel free to PM me.