Ashe Needs her Wings.
Authors Note –
Ok so this is a BalthierxAshe Fanfic, which focuses on one evening when Balthier was meant to be sneaking into the palace to see Ashe and explores how she feels when he doesn't turn up. It's pretty depressing, and I don't usually do depressing and I'm not too good writing angst and fluff to be honest but I'm having a go! Set after events in the game from Ashe's POV.
I love this pairing, don't you!?
Disclaimer – I do not own or have anything to do with Final Fantasy, neither do I own or have anything to do with the song Everytime. I am making no money or profit whatsoever from this story.
Ashe had not realised how lonely it was to be being Queen of Dalmasca. The cavernous hallways seemed to be laughing at her as she sat alone in her throne room. After the adventurous life she had lead since her uncle faked her suicide, being Queen seemed somewhat, bland. But every time these thoughts entered her head, she brush them off with ease, she knew she was Queen, this is what she had been working towards, restoring the kingdom of Dalmasca and leading her country. This was her dream. But was it? Was this really what she wanted for herself?
"No" she thought, but it was her duty, her responsibility. It was not right for a Queen to be so selfish. She knew what was keeping her going though, what spurred her on to attend meetings with the senate, leaf through piles of paperwork, liaise with the other countries leaders, forge peace and be a Queen worthy to lead Dalmasca - what made her get up in the mornings.
It was as though, she pondered, that she was merely playing a part in a play, she was the leading character and if she forgot her lines everything would crumble around her. Ashe sighed and stood up. Today was the day she had been looking forward to, after weeks and weeks of waiting, this was it. She had done everything the note said, the note that had arrived containing Rasler's wedding ring and promises of seeing each other again but Ashe couldn't help but wonder if these were nought but empty promises to keep her happy.
Balthier confused her, confused her more than anyone else she had ever met in her life.
"A Queen and a Sky Pirate" she thought and couldn't help but smile to herself "How unconventional"
She had left the huge windows near the balcony wide open as she had been told to do, the warm breeze flowing into the room and caressing her face, silken curtains fluttering gently. She had told her maids and servants she was concentrating on paperwork and did not wish to be disturbed and she knew that they wouldn't dare come in when she had specifically asked them not to. And now, all there was left to do was wait.
Balthier said he would come within the hour, but that hour passed, followed by another and Ashe scolded herself for being so ridiculous
"Of course he wouldn't come" She muttered and more time passed, the ornate clock on her wall ticking past the hours until Ashe collapsed upon her bed in tears. She knew in her heart that Balthier wouldn't come, give her some respite from the stuffy walls of the palace. When she was with him she felt free, everything about him spelt freedom for her, he was like her wings, able to fly her away from her troubles - when she was away from him she felt trapped, and the palace was like a prison. She longed to see him, an aching in her heart sometimes so strong she felt she could cry and never stop.
Notice me, take my hand Everytime I try to fly, I fall I make believe that you are here
Why are we strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you, baby
It's the only way I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy
It was past midnight when Ashe awoke after slipping into a deep slumber. Her pillow was drenched with tears and she wondered, she wondered why. She wondered if he even cared at all, if this was nothing but another pointless game to him, making her feel this way and anger bubbled up inside her. "How dare he?"
She found herself longing for Balthier's gentle touch, kind words, even his sometimes lewd comments. She had never stopped thinking of him, he was there in her waking hours, and he was there in her dreams. He seemed to take everything in his stride, so much so it was irritating to her sometimes, he was so carefree and she wanted to be carefree too, she wanted to run away and hide, hide from everything except Balthier, escape her life in the palace and roam the skies – but it was an impossibility, it wasn't plausible. She was enslaved within her duties, tied down by what she had been aiming for, for all these years and now she had it, she knew something was missing, like an empty space in her heart that needed to be filled, but what she needed was so out of reach.
I make believe that you are here And everytime I try to fly, I fall
It's the only way I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you, baby
She had dragged him halfway around the world, she had been irritable, uptight, rude and haughty, but she had to be. If only Balthier would come and see her now, watch how the irritable princess had melted away to make way for someone who now knew how much she truly loved him, felt for him. Perhaps it was her fault, she had driven him away. Maybe he didn't want to know anymore and she let out another bitter sob as she wondered if this was the reason he hadn't turned up that evening. That he was tired of her moaning and complaining, that he did not want to be tied down by her. Maybe it was her fault.
I may have made it rain At night I pray
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song's my sorry
That soon your face will fade away
A sound disturbed her from her train of thought, a sound that carried past her ears from outside, below her balcony. She daren't move, she didn't rush to the windows to look down into the gardens, she couldn't handle the disappointment – but as she looked on, holding her breath, someone vaulted over the edge and a figure appeared on the balcony, silhouetted in the moonlight. Ashe would recognise that stance anywhere and she couldn't help but cry out when Balthier stepped into the room.
"I apologise for my lack of punctuality" He said, his trademark smirk playing about his lips.
"I feared you wouldn't come" She said breathlessly
"Now wherever did you get that idea?" Balthier replied, advancing forwards and enveloping her in a soft embrace.
And everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you, baby
It seemed Ashe had found her wings at last.