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Authors Notes: Having gotten a review from one of my readers, it sparked a notion within me that I had said farewell to my renditions of Aoshi and Misao within my many AU Modern Style stories and I had foolishly forgotten to farewell them in their original format. So here is my final parting gift, to those that love Aoshi and Misao and more importantly to pay tribute to these two wonderful characters in their rightful format - within the Meiji Era. Thank you once again for having stuck with me throughout the years.
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Time to Say Goodbye
By: Shin Sankai
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A lone figure sat within a darkened room, incense burning off to the side. The only patch of light from the outside world was creeping its way along the floorboards to rest just out of reach of his prone form. He sat there dressed in a beige yukata, hands palm down resting on his knees, back straight, shoulders square and a pair of expressive green eyes closed off from the world around him.
He'd spent many hours in this very room, many months in fact, trying desperately to collect his thoughts, to move over every inch of his actions, to try and see if there was any way the past could have been avoided. Of course it was futile because no one could foretell the future and he certainly could not change the past.
To those that resided at the Aoi-ya, it was not necessary for him to spend hours upon hours stewing and brooding over his actions, but to him it was his duty, his honour to meditate, to reform his saved life for those that had been slain in front of him just in order to protect his very life. He would not be satisfied until he thought he had the right to join society once more, until he felt that the crimes he had committed against those he had once called 'family' could be amended. He would remain in this room, shielded within this temple until the claws of sorrow; the jaws of guilt would weaken from his battered heart.
Breathing in, eyelids peeled open when soft footsteps, covered by white tabi no doubt were slowly, if not hesitantly, making their way down the hallway and towards the secluded room he resided in. There was no question who it would be and just for a second butterflies scattered about his lower abdomen. A slight knock came from the frame of the closed shoji before a whisper of a sweet gentle voice, breaking its way through the darkness within his heart like the flicker of a small flame.
"Aoshi-sama…" Her voice shook slightly, not truly wishing to disturb him, but needing to inform him of certain matters that had been going on for the past couple of days now. He listened to the shoji slide across and Makimachi Misao, the youngest member of the Oniwabanshuu stepped inside. She knew he would voice nothing and continued quietly onwards. "The preparations are complete." Over the years her senses had grown sharper and Misao caught the slight jerk of his shoulders.
"I see…" Controlling herself rather well Misao removed the parcel from her travelling sack she had brought with her and gently placed it behind the prone man whom she loved dearly.
"I brought you your things. The others will not begin the ceremony until you have come back to the Aoi-ya."
"I'll be there shortly." Misao had also translated this comment as 'I wish to finish up here first' and slowly she made her way back towards the shoji. She knew the next question she asked would probably be a stupid one, but Misao being her ever-caring self could not help but ask,
"Would you like me to wait for you Aoshi-sama?"
"No." And just like a harsh breeze, the flickering of the flame was doused.
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The silence was thick, the unease within his muscles noticeable as Aoshi stood from his prone spot, eyes darting to the floorboards where the parcel Misao had left was situated. Swiftly his hands went to the tie holding his yukata closed as it fluttered to the ground, the yukata joining it promptly. He picked up the package and opened the cloth to reveal black hakama, a dark purple hanten and a black haori with his family crest on the back. Calmly the man dressed, thousands of scattered thoughts rushing throughout his mind as he slipped into small white socks and gathered his discarded clothing, wrapping them within the folds of the cloth that had been brought to him.
Shinomori Aoshi took one last glance at the room he'd occupied for many months and left without another backwards glance as he slid the shoji closed with his foot. Soundless footsteps headed for the entrance, head bowed and thick black bangs covering eyes from the cloudy sky above.
He slipped back into his shoes and made his way down the stairs and onto the road that directed him back to the Aoi-ya. Each footstep drew him closer to his destination, bringing him back to the reality that he wasn't sure he was ready to face. He was heading towards an unknown path, a path which he wasn't sure he'd be able to walk on as the last preparations of his bloodied past were finally being laid to rest.
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Not too long ago, Aoshi had travelled to Edo, to see what was taking Misao so long in returning to Kyoto. He'd come with a letter from Okina, asking her to return home at once, she becoming upset that he was nothing but a messenger. He later heard it had been voiced to her that he would not come even if ordered to. He was the type of man that would only go by actions set by him. It appeared this news made her happier.
On her last day Misao headed into town for some last minute shopping while Aoshi spent a day with Himura Kenshin, the once Hitokiri Battousai. He meditated with the samurai, who was not accustomed to such things, and they shared tea together while discussing several matters as Aoshi made origami for Genzai-sensei's granddaughters. It was brought plainly to attention that Misao was not a young girl anymore and for a long time now he thought about those very words.
Afternoon arrived and it was time to leave. As usual Misao was kicking up a fuss, not wishing to leave, but the complaining instantly stopped when Aoshi remarked that he wished to return home with everyone. The heads of his most trusted companions, the very ones that had saved his life, would be returning to Kyoto with them, to have a proper burial and place within the Aoi-ya grounds.
When they had arrived back in Kyoto, Misao had taken it upon herself to arrange all matters about the ceremony that would take place for Hannya, Beshimi, Hyotoko and Shikijou. Aoshi never had a chance to rebut her decisions and went back to meditating. He'd been left alone with his thoughts, spending his nights at the temple until today when Misao had come for him, to inform him that the ceremony for the death of their comrades, of his four companions he took from Kyoto in order to gain the title of the strongest, would be held today.
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Aoshi could not deny the feeling of his heart plummeting into his stomach region when he made his way through the gate, up the pebbled pathway and onto the porch to head around the side and into the backyard to arrive within Okina's flourishing garden. Several pairs of eyes met his and Aoshi returned the slight bows he received from the members of the Aoi-ya. Stepping forward and towards those that had forgiven him long ago for the sins he had committed, he couldn't help but allow his green orbs to linger that little bit longer on Misao. She was formally dressed in an ocean blue kimono with several green butterflies scattered over the silky material. It had been the very kimono that he and the others purchased for her for when she would grow and mature into a fine young woman. This had all occurred before they'd left in the middle of the night not saying goodbye. Misao's usual long plaited hair was void of the said plait and cascaded freely down her slender back, curling softly at the ends because of the dampness within the air.
Aoshi took his place beside Misao, resting on his shins as they all faced four carved stones situated prominently within Okina's Garden.
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The ceremony had been much of a blur for Aoshi as the impact of reality hit him square in the face. The names of his companions were now set in stone. He couldn't deny the way he wanted to scream in anger and pain, but the hand that had boldly pressed softly against his clenched fists shattered him from those thoughts, eyes snapping open to see Misao was kneeling in front of his kneeling form.
"The ceremony is mostly complete." She watched him blink and stare about the grounds, he finally taking note that they were the only ones left in the garden. "I have asked the others to allow you to have a moment alone for I do believe that this is only something for you to do." Aoshi watched as Misao provided him with four bunches of flowers. For a split second she thought she saw wetness within his mesmerizing gaze, but shook the thought off instantly. Laying the flowers at his sides, Misao quickly bent down to press her lips chastely against his forehead and ran back into the Aoi-ya.
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Hours had passed and Misao had been debating whether she should make Aoshi some tea and bring it up to his quarters when Okina had cornered her in the kitchen and informed her that Aoshi had not moved from the backyard. She quietly chewed her lip and at the insistence of Okina pushing her towards the shoji leading to his garden, Misao took a deep breath and stepped outside and onto the porch.
Lanterns lit the sunset streaked garden and Misao's heartbeat sped up as each bunch of flowers lay near the headstones of four men that helped raise her alongside those that still lived on in the Aoi-ya. The stones had been arranged in a semi-circle and Aoshi stood in the middle of them, the crest of his family shining brightly within the flames of the lanterns.
Slowly and carefully Misao made her way to the ever-mysterious Aoshi and stood merely inches from his tall and muscular physique. One shaky hand reached up and pressed lightly against the space between his shoulder blades. The man jolted at the touch, obviously lost in too many thoughts of the past. Instantly green met blue and Misao placed on a shaky smile.
"Its time to say goodbye." She watched those lost eyes dart away from hers and back to the gravestones. Misao had always known Aoshi to be a very powerful and brave warrior, but such things could never be said when one had lost so much.
"I can't…" The response broke her instantly and Misao sucked in a shuddering breath, eyes welling with thousands of tears that wished to fall.
"They need to rest in peace Aoshi-sama. In order for their souls to feel at ease, you must let them go." Ocean orbs caught the clenching of Aoshi's fists and the tightening of his shoulder blades. "They did what they believed was true in their hearts. They saved the one most precious to them."
"Misao…"
"They saved the one most precious to me." She felt the heat in her cheeks as green stared intently down at her…and slowly, stutteringly, Misao continued on. "I feel so helpless, not knowing what I can do in order to help you through your pain. All I could do for you was this. Please take good care of their stones Aoshi-sama." She turned to leave him in peace once more, to hopefully allow her words to sink in, but could not go a single step when his hands had reached out, placed softly against her slender shoulders.
"I've been gone for a long time." Misao was too scared to turn and face him. "The Misao in front of me is not the one I remember from long ago." Slowly she turned to face him, eyes shyly glancing up at the handsome and yet distraught man before her. "The one I know is not this in control with her feelings." Bowing her head Misao couldn't help but lift one of Aoshi's large warm hands and press it against her cheek.
"The real Misao, the one I have hidden away wants to cry so badly, but she is desperately trying to be brave in order to support you on this trying day." The silence built between them and it wasn't until the last ray of sunshine was lost by the horizon, did Aoshi finally utter a response.
"I don't mind if you cry Misao." Against his war-torn hand, Aoshi felt the first streak of warm tears roll over his tanned skin. "For you are sure to cry for those that cannot." When the first sob passed through her lips, Misao's body shaking from countless emotions, Aoshi moved forward allowing the young shinobi the chance to accept his offer or flee from it. "I will hold you, until you cannot cry anymore."
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Time crept by; two distraught souls embracing as Misao's cries finally subsided to mere hiccups. Feeling a little embarrassed Misao wiped her face with the sleeve of her kimono and stole a quick glance up at Aoshi. This time for certain she knew there was moisture within his gaze.
Descending to the lush ground, Misao took Aoshi with her as they sat surrounded by the stones of their loved ones. Taking a deep breath Misao shifted in the kimono, still not used to being in one and sat up on her knees, her arms moving around Aoshi's stiff shoulders as she directed his head to rest softly against her breast.
"I too will hold you, until your pain eases." At the softness within her voice, the love portrayed in the way she carefully cradled him against her petite frame, Aoshi's eyes closed just as his shoulders lost their tension.
"That could take some time." His mumble was barely audible but Misao's senses had sharpened over the years and with one hand around his slouched shoulders and the other gliding effortlessly through his silky hair Misao instantly replied.
"I am not going anywhere Aoshi." Green peeled open, as he noticed the honorific drop from his name. This was a significant turning point within their relationship this he knew and Aoshi was certain of himself that he would not run from any path thrown in front of him, especially if she were here to help guide and comfort him along the way. He did not move from his place against Misao, listening to the soothing beat of her heart as he took in a deep breath, eyes closing just as the wetness of a single tear cascaded slowly down his cheek.
"Goodbye…"
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End.