Title: The trouble with the third

Rating: Comedy

Pairing / Characters: Ichimaru Gin, Kira Izuru, Yamamoto Genryuusai Shigekuni

Word Count: 307 words

Warnings: Some very slight spoilers for the Soul Society arc

Summary: There are serious problems in the Third division, and most people know where they lie

A/N: I would find this to be true, actually.

FOR CAT… ARIGATO!!

The trouble with the third division does not lie in its members.

There are plenty of talented shinigami who are more than capable of doing serious damage when it matters.

In fact, said members actually stand out and make their division seem… better.

Sadly, this is not the case.

The trouble with the third division does not lie in its destruction record, nor does it lie in tardiness, nor death, nor any of the common ailments that plague other divisions regularly.

No, the trouble with the third lies in its captain and his lieutenant.

Ichimaru Gin is a little… psychotic (and a lot dangerous)

Behind his perpetual smile lies a man whose very psyche has been wiped clean of all sanity and logic. It's clear that no one ever knows what Gin is thinking at any given moment. Some of his squad members were known to talk in whispers about what he was rumored to be thinking, or to speculate on the nature of his behavior. To date, none of their bodies have been found and certain people are still looking.

Kira Izuru on the other hand, is far too innocent for his own good.

He's been likened to a little puppy, always doing its master's bidding without hesitation and not stopping to think of the consequences until they bite him in the ass. (there are some who say that if he'd bothered to think for himself in the first place he'd probably be insane. That isn't a good thing, considering who his captain is.) Kira acts without thought and in a way that makes him just as dangerous as a man who thinks too much.

There have been times when Yamamoto has considered disbanding the Third entirely and separating captain and lieutenant, but he never really considers it.

He doesn't think his sanity would stand it.