DISCLAIMER--I dont own Gundam Seed
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The Black Book
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-"The Growing Hatred"-
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Summer blew its warm caressing wind through the empty corridors, the whole school was blunt with all the fresh grad students packing their things excitedly in their dorms. The school had just finished their graduation ceremony which honored and freed the batch from childish obligations. Yes. It was time to move on, a step closer to success, a foot forward to the path they have chosen for themselves.
Giggles and sobs of farewell could be heard from room to room. Everyone was relishing the last few moments together with their friends. Meeting in the university grounds was not a promise so they treated this last day like a leaking gold. They gave each other gifts to remind them of their precious and memorable moments.. moments that have established and molded them to what they are now.
Memorable moments... except for one..
"That's it, we're through!" the blue hair lad stood in with her books at his foot. It took time before all the words registered in the blond's mind. She couldn't believe what she was hearing now. The confession she was expecting was something like a promise to meet in college or a promise to meet again in the future. Her body started to shudder as her tears peaks its ways in her amethyst eyes.
"But Auel..." her words were almost a whisper to her big blank room
"You just don't get it huh? Class is over.. it means we're over. I'm going to another country to pursue my Law studies. My father already hired a personal tutor for me"
"If that is what you wish.. I can wait-"
"snap out of it Stellar! Stop fantasizing about 'that' relationship. It never happened" the lad smirked to her. "your so stupid to not even listen to what your bitchy friend was saying. Do you really think I meant those ' I love you'. Hell, me? In love with a geek? Come on"
She tried her best to resilient her sobs but she failed to, his words were too painful for her to contain, they were like scimitars being pinned to her very soul. She clenched her fist beside her, she needed someone or something to lean on, she didn't know what to feel. This guy just played with her feeling?? She loved him so dearly since grade school. He was the cool dude and campus crush, she in turn was the school's brain. Nothing of a beauty, as she said.
"the deal is over, the play is done and I won over it. Thanks to you"
She wanted to slap him so hard to wake him out of his joke. Joke? She wanted to believe it was all a joke. But if everything was a joke..that will be including their 4 year relationship.
Her tears forced their way out behind her round glasses and poured down, burning her cold cheeks. Luna was right, it was just a stupid deal of him and his friends. But she was too blinded by his charisma to believe her words. She thought she was just jealous.. but now.. she realized that her friend was just protecting her from being hurt.. just like what she was feeling at the moment.
"don't cry. I'm sure you'll find someone as geek as you are" Auel gave off a sly chuckle and turned to leave. Time has stopped on her, she opened her mouth to halt him but no words came out. She wanted to scream his name or curse him for what he said. But her tears just continued to flow and her knees jellied down to the floor. She watched as her once loving boyfriend turned his back on her. All her strength has been consumed by the revelation he did. She wished that she was just having a nightmare.. a nightmare that she could just pinch herself and wake up lying on her bed. But the throbbing pain in her knees caused by the books she was on was enough to tell her.. that she was wide awake.
"oh" Auel suddenly stopped and turned back to her, her heart skipped, did he change his mind? Or is the play over? He stepped back before her and knelt to her level. He stared at her with his soft sky blue eyes and flicked her hair gently behind her ear. " I don't need your trash" he grabbed the chain necklace off from him and tossed it in front of Stellar, "see ya freak!" he smugged and exited her room.
Everyone was already holding their own farewell escapades in their rooms. But as for Stellar, she was spending her farewell 'party' with her best friend inside a quiet dark room.
Luna rubbed her back beside her as she continued to cry on her bed
"I knew that he was up to no good" Luna spurted out in a I-told-you-so tone, "that jerk.. he's going to get it"
"why is fate so rude on me..." Stellar let out another cry that she pushed on her pillow.
"stop crying Stellar. Your tears are not worth it for that jerk" a moment of cries passed and slowly quieted down to sobs, Stellar sat up hiccuping as she faces her red headed friend.
"tell me.. Luna..am I not that pretty for any guy to love?" she hiccuped in between words as tears are again escaping out of her eyes
Luna wiped her tears with her finger away from her cheeks, " no, your way too pretty for just any guy to have"
Stellar felt the warm fingers of Luna on her cheeks and felt the reassurance in her best friend. Luna had always been there for her. Although she didn't believe her when she said that Auel was a good for nothing jerk who only spared their relationship cause of a 500 dollar deal, she still stayed with her and caught her downfall. She was lucky to have a true friend like her. A friend who had been there through her ups and downs.. But she knew, she can't be with her forever. She won't be there to always catch her in all her shadows. Luna also has her own life.
"hey" Luna lifted her cheeks as Stellar's eyes narrowed with sadness
"that Auel is nothing. Move on. He was a complete jerk as I suspected. Don't let that four year relationship ruin your years of living. I know its hard since his your first boyfriend but, don't let your world stop cause of him"
"I'm sorry Luna.. I'm just so weak.." she wiped her tears with her sleeves
"don't say that. Your not weak. Your just too naive for this cruel world occupied by cruel men" Luna joked at her trying to lighten up the blond's mood.
"come'on girl, you don't intend we spend the last day sulking in here right?" Stellar turned down her head on the her question. She gripped the silver crucifix necklace on her lap. She gave it to Auel years ago.
"your kidding right?" Luna jumped up, "I tell you, there are a lot of men out there who are drooling over you."
"yeah..? like who..?" she lifted her gaze to the now standing Luna
"like...umm...uhh..." Luna spaced out tapping her foot on the floor and her hand on her hips
Stellar sighed, "forget it... I know no one will drool over a complete dork" she stared at her reflection on her window. Her long golden hair was fuzzed, and her geeky round glasses wrapped her amethyst orbs, Auel is right, she's a geek that only a fellow geek might like. She shifted her gaze to Luna's reflection. She guessed Luna wont really understand how she feels. Luna was an eye candy for men. That's why her protective boyfriend Rey never let's his eyes off her. She wished she could be like her, to be as pretty as her, to be as appealing as her, to have a man who loves her the way she is..interested in the things she is..and protecting her from all others..
"I'm not a girl that any man dreams of.. or will dream of" she scoffed to herself
Luna leaned to Stellar and flipped her finger on her forehead, "oww" Stellar exclaimed as she held her forehead
"your no longer a girl. Your a seventeen year old lady"
"it doesn't change a thing. A geeky girl will eventually turn out to be a geeky lady"
Luna glared at her logical friend, "stop using your 1 plus 1 thinking. You just need a make over. I'll prove you that there are guys out there who will like you, and are far worthy of your beauty" she walked to closet and started tossing clothes to Stellar's bed (A/N they share rooms)
The blond wiped the remaining traces of tears from her face. Luna is trying hard to lift her from depression. The mere thought of it brings a smile on her face. She cursed her thoughts of Luna not understanding her. She might not understand but she stayed to hear everything. She doesn't need a boyfriend or anything else. Especially if the guy will be like Auel who just threw all her four year love for him. Stellar started to feel hate with men. They are not worthy of anything..they'll just play with you.. She shook her head from her thoughts, as of now, she was contented in having Luna. She can find another guy, but she can never find another friend like Luna.
Stellar stood up from her bed and hugged Luna from behind, " Thanks Luna"
the latter rubbed her hands that were on her waist, "don't mention it, now get on this things" she shoved a couple of dresses to Stellar
"You know what..I really don't mind if I get a vampire to like me" she kid over her best friend
"not one of your vampire dreams again. They are just child stories."
Stellar giggled , "Then I'd rather stay as a child. You know that I always loved them. Men sucks.."
"yeah but vampires are men as well.. ANYWAYS!! enough of that vampire thing, put those on"
"where are we going?" Stellar asked as she slips the strap of her dress over her shoulders. She was made to wear a midnight blue haltered dress that reach above her knee.
"the bar"
"this late?" she turned confused to her friend who was changing to a black spaghetti strapped dress.
"When did you see a bar open up early in the morning?"
"but its late! Besides we wont be allowed to leave the campus"
"who says we're going to ask for permission?" the blond gulped at her friend's response. Luna was a strong willed person. And when she said strong willed, she wont allow anything to hinder her from what she wants to do. And this attitude of Luna always made her nervous
Luna slowly opened the door and peered outside, the dorm's corridors are quiet with no checker at sight
"Let's go" she signalled in Stellar, the blond nodded as she picked up her shoes and her favorite black book.
"what is that?" Luna whispered
"My book" she responded
"I know what it is. Where going to the bar. Not a Library" Luna hissed in a whisper. Stellar just smiled to her and tiptoed her way to the corridor.
She sighed as she closed the door behind them, perhaps, Stellar was still a child.
They arrived at the bar around 11 P.M. The floor was very alive with all the music and people dancing. Luna pushed herself to the crowd as she pulled her by hand. The blinking light of the disco ball made Stellar out of balance that she bumped to all the people on the way. Finally after a series of body mass hitting her they reached a clearing by the bar.
There by the stool sat a familiar blond, Luna waved to him as they approached
"3 glasses of the usual" she shouted over the loud music to the stout bartender. He was around 30's with a brush of white hair on the sides. The tender nodded and started to flip bottles into 3 glasses
"how are you?" the blond asked Stellar, Luna smooched the blond's lips and as he wrapped his arms around her waist to sit her beside him
"I'm fine Rey.." Stellar answered as she staggered for the table's support and placed her book over, she's not comfortable in such a crowded place with loud music. She prefers to be in a solemn place alone. "you guys drink?"
"well.. sort off. Its just a weak kind of alcohol" Rey winked
"here you go ladies" The tender slid the glasses to the trio
Rey lifted the glass filled with a pale yellow substance. "don't mind him Stellar. He's just a complete jerk who doesn't have brains" he took a sip of his drink
Stellar tried to smile at his joke, but the pain was still fresh within her. Her chest churned and her head thud, the music and the lights are making her brain throb more. She lifted the glass to a gulp.
"easy on the glass Stellar"
Stellar gave out a contented sigh, the drink, revived her dried throat with its warm flow. She felt it burn down her stomach as the flavor of lemon lavished in her mouth. She blinked a few times and found that the lights are not hurting her brains out of her skull anymore.
Rey grinned at her, "first time in a bar?"
She didn't hear what Rey said. Her eyes traced at the dance floor, the drink actually removed her nauseated feeling. She felt her body adapt to the bar's environment. She then noticed some familiar faces from school.
"seems like we're not the only ones sneaking out of school huh?" Stellar slumped herself on the stool beside Luna.
"yeah, so if one gets caught, everyone is going to spend another year in mid school" they laughed with what Luna said
"I'm afraid that's impossible" Rey pointed out his hand holding the glass to the side of the dance floor. Stellar and Luna gaped at the couple dancing.
"Isn't that Mr and Mrs La Flaga??" Luna's mouth went wide open
"what is the school principal and our adviser doing here?" Stellar finally snapped out of gaping
"where student are.. teacher's are" Rey finished his shot and stood up. "Mind if I borrow her for awhile?"
They all stared at the recognizable green headed who was standing in front of them for an invitation. Stellar blinked a few times at the hand gestured to her.
"me?" she blurted out, fixing her glasses in place
"yes, may I?" the guy stared at her with his green orbs. She felt her cheeks blush. It was her first time in a bar. This was her first invitation from a guy...
Luna saw the hesitation in her friend, she nudged her back. "Go VP, just bring her back here in one whole"
"don't worry, Sting is safe" Rey nodded to the lad as the other did.
She intended to stay at her seat since the dance floor was far too crowded, but she wasn't able to respond for herself, after she turned her head to the smiling Luna, she found herself enclosed in the dance floor with Sting. She stood still and hugged herself from the people bumping at her while dancing.
"Just let the music flow" Sting started his moves in front of her, but she kept still. She was too scared to get stepped at or be hushed over by the crowed, and it was also awkward dancing with their student council vice president. Despite the big crowd she felt her hands cold. She wanted to go back to her seat together with Luna and Rey.
"follow the beats" she felt a warm body behind her as arms wrapped her waists, "let it go" Sting's warm breath sent tingles from her ear. Sting slung her glasses off and started to swing her body together with him in his dance.
Just when the music changed, she didn't notice that she was already dancing in rhythm with Sting. Her body warmed up and moved like it had its own life.
"there you go" Sting said beside her ear, the musky scent of alcohol echoed in her nostrils. He backed off a little in which he was inches away from her face. "get rid of your glasses, it makes you look old" he snickered and tugged her closer to his body to rest from dancing. He guided her hands to wrap over his shoulder. She looked up to his green eyes who looked back at her. Does this guy like me? She asked herself.
"can you see?" Sting asked in a worried tone
"yeah.. " she smiled and laughed at her silly thought, "he's just worried about my glasses"
"thanks for the dance, I think I'll go seat first" Stellar broke the bondage and bowed to Sting.
When she went back to their seats, Luna and Rey where gone, she glanced over the dance floor in search for the two but failed due to the mass of the people.
"she wouldn't leave me" she slumped herself on the stool she sat on awhile ago and relaxed her head on her arms. Luna's handkerchief was still on the table marking that she will be back. Her hand felt up the bridge of her nose to fix something, but that something was missing. Right, Sting removed her glasses.
The dance could've been perfect if he didn't treat her like a child.
"want some drinks?" a man stood in front of her. She had it with guys, and she's starting to get dizzy w/ her glasses off. She brushed off whoever was there
"interested in vampires huh?" she lifted her head up and saw the bartender leaning forward her black book on the table.
"yes.." her eyes furrowed, she grabbed her book and slid it between her arms. She doesn't want anyone intruding in her stuffs, especially her black book.
"sorry for touching your book" the lad turned with his black hair that swifted with him, her amethyst eyes met his red orbs. He gave out a grinn.
Not minding the intruder, she turned her head the other side while hugging her book, she gave the dance floor another gaze to find her best friend. She wanted to go back at the dorm where she wouldn't see any man.
"They're by the corner beside the DJ's post. Don't worry, they'll be back later" the black haired guy commented as he leaned on the table near Stellar.
She scanned her eyes over the DJ's post and there she saw Luna dancing with her arms around Rey..actually... was kissing Rey.. her throat felt dry again at the sight of the sweet couple. She wanted to drink the same stuff Luna requested, she just doesn't know what to say to the bartender. She licked her lips for the taste the drink has left.
"here" a glass was placed in front of her. It contained the same pale color as what was given to them. Her eyes traced up to the bartender and saw the same red orbs smiling at her. She sipped the liquid. It was the same taste and texture she had. She started to feel anxious with this guy. Why does he seem to read her mind?
"your friend's told me to tell you that they'll be there at that post. She said to give you this drink if ever you made it here and their still out there.."
"so thats why..." she clasp the book on what hand and lifted her glass with the other " thanks" she muttered as she finished
"no problem"
the black haired guy picked up her glass and walked to the man calling out. She brushed the table from remnants of liquid and placed her book on top. Flicking some pages, she slapped herself consciously. The words were all fuzzy. Of course she can't read. Her glasses we're with Sting!
"having trouble?" the black haired guy was back and he was wiping the glass with a towel.
"I believe this is yours" the guy perched his hand on his pocket and placed something on the table
She reached out to feel the object, it was too dark too see, and without her glasses she was completely blind from small objects. Feeling the tip of it, she looked back up to the bartender,
"the green haired dude handed it over" he pointed to the other side of the table. She quickly placed the familiar cold object on her face.
"thanks" she smiled to him, grateful for returning her glasses. Although Sting ordered him to do so, she was thankful he was the one to hand it over. With her glasses on, she can now picture out clearly the face of the lad. She was surprised, the bartender was of the same age as she was. He had a picth black hair with a long tail tied behind his neck that reached till his back. She didn't notice it while he was facing her. By the dimness of the area, she could tell the whiteness of his skin that perfectly compliments his ruby like eyes.
"So your interested in vampires?" he leaned forward in front of her that made her blush,
"yes.. and you?" she asked not thinking, the guy gave out a cute smirk that made her heart pound faster, but as she realized what she just asked. She wanted to slap herself for asking such a silly question. She might just freak him off with such things.
"Yeah.. I'm into that stuff" he said as he flicked another page in the book, "I'm sorry for scanning some pages awhile ago, its just that, I'm also interested in them I can't help but open your book"
"Its ok" she felt relieved that he wasn't freaked out from the question, and what made her more relieved is the fact that this person is also interested in vampires.. a smile curved up her lips
"vampires are creatures of the dark. Cursed by the god's to dwell upon night with dead bodies and feed on blood to keep life" he said as if making a class report
"you memorized the first line" she tilted her head with a smile
he shrugged his shoulders, "sort of, its an interesting line. The writings were not published, did you write that?"
Stellar nodded, "Its a book report I started way in grade school. I got addicted to vampires that I continued researching and compiling them all here"
"addicted?" he raised a brow to her
"liking is not a word that can compel to how I feel about vampires. Addiction is much more proper. Their much more dignified compared to man"
"dignified? Really? How come?"
"well you see.. they deal with their curse head on. Not like man who kills himself to avoid his misfortune. And with today's era, they are very slick in keeping themselves myths to human. They need blood, I now wonder how they feed without man's attention"
"you believe they exist?"
"call me a child, but I do believe they exist. I want to meet one someday" she just saw a smile from the lad.
"Aren't you afraid that he may drain you blood out?"
"I don't care If he drains my blood. If he needs it I'll gladly give it to him. That is.. if he signs my book"
They chuckled. Then she looked down as she remembered Auel's hate for the topic. She kept away from writing in her book since he told her that it freaks him out and that he gets jealous over the time she spends with her book. She kept silent from the topic and kept her research in secret. She felt light sharing her interest with another person who has same interest as she. She wished that Auel wasn't really like that, that their relationship didn't turn out as it did...
"forget about him" her eyes jumped from her book to his gaze, "huh?"
"being hurt is a process of learning, don't enclose yourself inside a solid rock border, instead, embrace the bad experience with open arms. There are people out there who are far worthy of your tears and sweet smiles"
Her spine sent out an electric current up her hear brain. Who is this guy? Is he some type of psychic?
The black haired lad coughed in excuse, "sorry, I haven't introduced myself. My name is Shinn" he offered up his hand which Stellar accepted with hesitant hands, "Stellar", though she was starting to feel weird with this Shinn, his hands felt warm and soft to her touch
"your cold, are you alright?"
"I'm fine" she said, what was she thinking. This guy has been so friendly with her and has same interest as she has with vampires. She shouldn't think wrong of such friendliness.
"Hey Shinn another shot here!" that voice from the other corner banged her consciousness like a hammer. She suddenly felt the pain go back
"I'm coming"
Stellar followed the trails of Shinn who walked to the familiar voice, she was right. Her eyes traced off to the blue haired guy who just broke up with her this morning.
Auel sensed the stare coming from the other direction, he saw the blond staring at him blankly, "Look who's here" he addressed to his group of friends
Stellar clenched her fist as Auel approached her and sat beside her stool. She wanted to slap him right in front of his friends to humiliate him, but for self righteousness, she stopped herself.
The lad glanced over the book with disgust."your still into that shit?" he provoked to the teary blond and tossed the book across the table
"Hey Shinn, buddy, give us some of my drinks. Put it on my tab"
they're friends? Her eyes shot up at Shinn who placed two glasses of pinkish drinks in front of them. The friendliness she saw in him faded. That's it.. she was right...this Shinn was also playing around her feelings.. she balled up her fists in anger. All men are the same..
"guys, this girl you see here," he placed his arm around her shoulder, "is my geeky EX-girlfriend. Girlfriend, meet my buddies" the group Auel laughed as he continued to make fun of Stellar.
"I hate you" she muttered beneath her breath
"are you saying something dork?" Auel removed his arms and placed his hand open beside his ear, "did you say something dork?"
she lifted her head and glared at Auel from the corner of her eyes, "what? You wanna fight?" Auel stood up from his seat
"stop it Auel" Shinn interrupted, "you don't intend to fight a lady do you?"
"she's not a lady, she's a dork! Stop glaring at me bitch!" Auel slapped Stellar across the face. She felt her cheeks burn from the pain.. but what burnt more was the anger she felt inside her. She hated him..She hated man.. She hated them.. She whispered it to her mind repetitively, gaining strength as every word fume up inside her. Her clench on her hand tightened sending blood out from the punctures of her nails. As she turned her head back to Auel to get him back from all the things he did, she saw Auel curled up by the floor hugging his stomach with a sore cheek and blood flowing by the side of his lips. And there stood in front of her was Shinn with clenched fists. How did he get there?
"you have no right to call women bitches as much as you like."
"curse-y-you" Auel said as he squinted on the floor
"you also have no right to hit women. God pulled out Eve from man's middle limb not to be overstepped, but to be protected"
"WHAT THE FUCK SHINN!!" one of Auel's friends charged at him, he dodge his punch by switching his weight to the side, he grabbed his attacking arm and punch his abdomen with his other hand. The man yanked his torso from the pain
"Cursing is bad y'know" Shinn shrugged his shoulders.
Stellar watched as each of Auel's friends took turns in attacking Shinn. But the graceful dodging of Shinn gave the folks
failure of their attempt, leaving all of them crawling on the floor. After the pounding and all, Shinn turned to Stellar, her brows were still furrowed, I hate man...I hate man, she saw the incoming touch of Shinn, she backed off avoiding.
"Are you alright?" he said with sympathetic eyes, he attempted to touch her ones again
"don't touch me!!" she scowled , he stood shock in front of her. Her face was traced with anger and terror, like a cat when cornered by a dog. She didn't want to be touched by a guy anymore, after Auel's hit.. she had enough of them...no..more than enough...
"I'm sorry" her eyes soften upon his apologizing words.. Man has hurt her enough, Auel has played too much of her. Her eyes carefully watched him as he grabbed the drinks he placed on the table awhile ago, she thought he was going to make her drink that she turned her head, then her sore cheek felt something cold on it. Shinn actually place the cold glass on her cheek.
"Stellar!!" Luna called out from the crowded audience, "My goodness! Are you alright?" she shove Shinn's glass away including him and hugged her.
"what happened here?" Rey behind Luna asked Shinn
"They started it" Shinn said blankly, Rey ran his eyes on the squirming men on the floor and saw Auel with them. He scanned the bartender beside him, "thanks buddy" he patted the black haired lad on the shoulder gratefully
"let's go back Rey" Luna assisted Stellar to her feet as she wrapped her in her arms to the exit. Gazes and whispered followed them as they left the area.
Stellar hugged herself as they walked back to school, the cold air brushed her red cheek. This day is totally a mess. Everything seems to fumbled down on her. Yes she did pass mid school with flying colors, but this thing called love has turned its wheels out from her. Rey tried to comfort her by rubbing her back but she backed off from his touch. He said he wouldn't hurt her, but she already heard enough lies broken by Auel. Luna confided Rey as he gave up on her. She is disgusted by men... she felt hatred with them...they all are players of one's feelings. They will only hurt you... No more.. no more of those stupid men.
They were about 15 minutes away from the bar when someone called out from behind.
"Wait!" Rey turned around to see who it is as the two continued to walk
"Stellar!" the blond stopped with the familiar voice, she turned around and saw Shinn running to them.
"If its about the damage, ask Auel about it" Rey barked at him as he was a few steps away from them
"Its not that, Stellar, you forgot this" He handed her over her black book. Stellar reached out with shaking hands then hugged her book. It was her source of comfort.
Rey turned to walk but Stellar stood still facing Shinn. "Let's go Stellar" Luna ushered her. There was something about him..she just don't know what it is..he was different from them. He defended her, he had respect for women, and he liked vampires as much as she did. He even relieved her sore cheek.
Shinn removed his jacket and walked to her, he placed his jacket on her shoulders and rubbed her warm by the arms. He leaned forward to whisper, he was so close to her that she smelled his masculine cologne.
"vampires do exist..I've already met one"
Her eyes widened, Shinn walked backwards and winked at her.
"I'll let you meet him one day"
with that Shinn was off running back to the bar.
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I'm sorry for not writing for so long.. I got into a series of oblivious situations...did you miss me?
please tell me what you think of the story.. comments and criticism are warmly welcomed
Hope you loved this one as you liked the other fics.. :)