Castle was sitting in the bullpen at the 12th, next to him his partner Kate Beckett.
They sit side by side on the edge of her desk looking over the murder board.
It's looking to be a complex case and it makes everyone groan.
They've had four back to back cases two of them overlapping and they're all ready to go home and sleep for a few days.
He's about to ask if she wants some more coffee when his cell rings, he's relaxed and casual till he sees who it is then he stands up ridged and answers as he walks into a conference room. Curious Beckett, Espo and Ryan follow
Castle's standing by the back wall of the conference room, his voice a military tone as he talks
"Yes sir. yes sir. I understand sir. What time and where? I understand sir. I'll be ready sir"
Then he hangs up and hangs his head with a heavy sigh, he turns around to meet three pairs of confused eyes
"Kevin grab my lap top then everyone in and close the door"
He watches as Ryan does just that then moves over and 'locks' the door via blocking it with a chair before sitting down and working through a complex series of sites while he talks
"I suppose I never mentioned that I was in the air force"
all three of them get wide eyes, speechless
"Eight years" he spins the laptop and pushes it towards them, his military record now on the screen
"I'm not active duty anymore but I do get called back for... special missions"
he clears his throat and watches as Espo scans the records, his face slack with disbelief
"Dude I heard about you when I was in Special Ops... you're Sandman?"
Castle just nods, the other two look at Espo shocked.
Espo just talks "Sandman is a legend in the services. Never been shot down, has completed the most missions a good half of them considered to be suicide missions. He's largely responsible for ending Desert Storm"
Castle clears his throat again
"Don't give me too much credit Espo, all wars are a group effort no one person deserves more credit than the next and yes I have been shot down, twice. It's in the record there"
Beckett's eyes dart from side to side taking in the information slowly, she'd only gotten engaged to her boyfriend Tom yesterday and now her partner and the man she really loves is telling her this? When it sinks in she raises her head
"You're being called back..."
Castle just nods in response.
Beckett swallows a rock as Espo looks up from the records he was reading
"When do you leave?"
Castle scratches the side of his head
"I have to be on base ready to go by 1400 tomorrow"
Beckett's mind is going on overdrive, two pm tomorrow isn't enough time she has so much to say and do.
Her thoughts are interrupted by Castle
"I'll send letter cd's and I'll be able to make facetime calls if there's downtime. I don't know how long I'll be gone... but I should get home and start packing my gear"
He reaches over to the laptop and presses print
"Make sure you don't leave that laying around Espo, you know the routine"
Espo just nods then he and Ryan slip out leaving Beckett and Castle alone.
He blocks the door again then sits next to her "Kate?"
Beckett looks up, her brow furrowed and the vein in her forehead that shows when she's distressed is showing like a neon sign
"Espo said they send you on suicide missions?"
Castle nods "Hazards of being the best fighter pilot, you get the shit jobs" he said with a serious voice, no humor in sight.
Beckett reaches over and takes his hand
"We've had our rough patches Rick but you're one of my best friends. Come back okay?"
Castle smiles and squeezes her hand
"That's the plan Kate. If you want to see me off in the morning come by round nine okay?"
Beckett nods, she has work tomorrow but she plans on telling the captain she'll be late
"I'll be there"
he smiles again then leans forward and kissing her cheek before standing up, gathering his laptop and slipping out leaving Beckett sitting there with her eyes closed fighting tears that so desperately want to fall.
Her heart has never hurt so much in her life
When Beckett arrives the next morning Castle's in uniform.
The sight arouses her like nothing ever has before but it's tempered by the knowledge that he's leaving.
Alexis has already said her goodbyes and left for school, Martha off to distract herself at rehearsals.
So it's just Castle and Beckett.
Castle smooths his hand over his newly shaved head and looks at the floor a moment
"Hey Kate, I'm glad you made it"
Beckett's voice is quiet as she stands in front of him, one hand on his chest
"of course, I wouldn't let you leave without..."
Castle nods quietly
"I have enough blank cd's packed to keep you in letters for a while. You'll get so many it'll be like I never left"
he says weakly, one hand moving out and tucking some hair behind her ear then brushes his fingers over her cheek.
This all so hard because he wants nothing more than to kiss and hold her, but she's not his.
"I'll facetime as often as I can too"
his sad eyes meeting her teary ones for a long moment before she suddenly steps into him and hugs him tight, her face tucking into his neck.
He closes his eyes and hugs her like it's the last time he'll see her
"I'll miss you too, so much, you have no idea"
Beckett sniffles a little, no intention of letting go until she has to
"I wish we had more time before you have to leave, give us time to prepare..."
Castle sighs softly and nods
"I know Kate, I wish that too but it can't be helped"
He closes his eyes and presses his cheek to the top of her head
"Take care of yourself Kate and be happy, that's all I ever wanted for you"
Her breath shudders as he speaks as though he isn't coming back but she pushes the thought away
"You too Rick, be safe and come back quickly"
He smiles giving her one more good squeeze before bending over and grabbing his duffel bag.
He takes a deep breath "walk me out?"
Beckett's hugging her arms around her middle as she nods forcing a small smile.
They walk together down to the sidewalk in front of his building, the silence awkward
"Well, this is it"
Beckett watches the sidewalk for a moment before looking up into his eyes
"Yeah I guess so"
He gazes into her gorgeous hazel eyes for a moment then leans down and gives her a tender kiss on the lips that lasts a few seconds longer than it should, his voice a whisper
"I wanted to do that just once... just in case"
Then he kisses her cheek leaving her breathless.
he goes to turn and she catches his arm, before he can blink she draws him into an anguished slow kiss complete with tongue saying the words 'goodbye' the only way she can.
A minute passes seamlessly before she breaks the kiss, strokes his cheek a few times then jogs to her cruiser to go.
He watches after her with a heavy heart then gets into a taxi and leaves