(A/N: Hey! Sorry if this is really weird. I asked my friends what I should write about, and this is what they said: "What if that Lockhart made Snape lose his memory and he went all happy?" Or something to that effect. So, I got bored and actually finished this. Let me know what you want him to do?)
Lockhart skipped happily down the hall, his creepy calf-shit yellow hair flying everywhere. He had just extracted a rather remarkable memory from a wizard who had vanquished a banshee, and it had been of particularly good quality. As he rounded the corner, he literally ran head-long into Severus Snape. After most inconspicuously feeling up his pecs, Lockhart stepped back and said,
"Hello Sevvie old boy. And how are you?" Snape replied in his cool, deadly voice,
"Smashing." Lockhart grinned lecherously, and Severus barely repressed a shudder at the man's disgusting inability to pick up on Severus's straightness. Lockhart bounced like little freaky pixie in a moratorium of dead flowers and said,
"Me too. Venture a guess as to why?" Severus barely managed to stop from strangling him as he muttered through gritted teeth,
"Raped Harry Potter?" Lockhart shook his head and said,
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Severus gave him his best go-die-slowly-and-painfully look of loathing usually reserved for Harry Potter and said,
"Nothing. Why are you 'smashing'?" Lockhart wagged his finger and said,
"Now now, I said guess." Severus rolled his eyes, and lightly prodded at Lockhart's mind. An image of him shouting "Obliviate!" hazily surfaced. Another quick series of images raced in front of Severus's eyes. A strange wizard dueling with a shrieking banshee. Lockhart taking notes. Lockhart stealing this memory. Severus withdrew with a shock he concealed beneath his cool demeanor. Lockhart, being the annoying and nosy git he is, noticed the flash of surprise that was barely there before it left. He said,
"Something strange, Sev?" Severus shook his head, and said softly,
"Nothing. I have to go to my rooms." Lockhart sidled up to him, and tried linking arms. He whispered sensually and creepily in Severus's ear,
"Mind if I come with?" Severus threw him off before Lockhart knew what had happened. He was on the floor, his piss-yellow curls flying awry. Severus's face was a frightening sallow pale. His voice was clipped and deadly quiet,
"No. Go. Away. Now. You imposing fraud of a man." Lockhart's eyes widened as he realized that his secret was out. He slowly pulled his wand out and whispered at Severus's back,
"Obliviate." Severus whipped around to block Lockhart's spell, but was too slow. He eyes unfocused, and an oblivious smile crept across his face. His eyes focused in on Lockhart as he said happily,
"Hello that chap. What's your name? Come to think of it, what's my name?"
(A/N: So… what do you think? Send me what you want him to do! I only have a few ideas. And I've started a Plot Bunny Adoption on my profile. PM me if you use any! Lots of love and cookies to you all!)