Coming Together

All direct quotes were taken from "Mockingjay" by Suzanne Collins.

"On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach, I know this would have happened anyway. That what I need to survive is not Gale's fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that.

So after, when he whispers, 'You love me. Real or not real?'

I tell him, 'Real.'"

I wake screaming. Not an odd occurrence really. It's happened often since my return to Twelve. Hell, who am I kidding? It's happened every night since my rescue from the arena during the Quell. Since the comfort of Peeta's arms was taken away from me.

No, I can't think about Peeta. My nightmare has brought the tears close enough; thinking of losing Peeta would only make them fall. I pulled my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my knees. Sitting there, rocking back and forth, I didn't know what else to do. I had lost so many people; their faces returned to me every night in my nightmares. As if that wasn't bad enough, I had to watch one of those closest to me have flashbacks that pushed him closer and closer to hating me. I was so lost in my self pity, that I hardly noticed the tears begin to flow. The deep sobs began to rip through my body. Prim, Finnick, Cinna, Rue, Portia, Boggs, Castor; I see them all glaring at me in my sleep, telling me how much they hate me for what I've done to them.

Before I knew what was happening, I was up off my bed and putting on my shoes. I glanced over at my alarm clock, its red numbers glowing in the darkness. Three thirty-five, great. If he didn't hate me enough already, he definitely would after I woke him up in the middle of the night. But nothing was stopping my feet from going downstairs and out the door. As I walked toward his house, I could tell none of the lights were on. My mind told me to turn around and go home; he would just tell me to anyway, but my heart told me that I had to tell him how I felt, even if he couldn't hear me.

When I got to the door, it was unlocked; like always. I walked inside and gently shut it behind me. As they had all night, my feet went where they wanted without any permission from my brain. I walked up the stairs; my heart pounding all the way. The door to his bedroom stood wide open and I could see him lying, as always, facing the open window.

I walked quietly over to the bed and just stood there watching his chest rise and fall slowly. I looked at his features; at least he wasn't having a nightmare. I couldn't bring myself to wake him; I knew from experience that a peaceful, nightmare free sleep was rare and I couldn't take it away. So, instead, I sat down and leaned my back against the side of his bed. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes; it was time to get everything that I had been holding back for two years off my chest.

"Peeta," I began, "I know you can't hear me, but there are some things that I need to say that I can't when you're awake. I should have told you on the train back from the first games, but I couldn't. Peeta, I've never been good with words. Actually, I suck with words; if I weren't saying them to you I'd ask you what I should say. I guess, I just, I have to tell you what you mean to me." By this time I'm crying. I start to leave, but I'm stopped when I feel his strong hand grip my wrist and I freeze. I wait for him to pull me back but he doesn't. instead he speaks in the calmest voice I've heard him use since his rescue from the Capitol.

"Please don't stop. You were doing so well. How do you feel about me?"

I turned back to see his perfect blue eyes staring back at me even in the darkness. I walked slowly back to his bed and he moved over so that I could sit next to him. I took my place and began again.

"I can't imagine my life without you. Honestly, without you, I wouldn't have a life. If you hadn't thrown me that bread all those years ago, I'd be dead. All these years, I've been thanking you in my head, but I never really told you thank you to your face. I didn't really realize what I was feeling on the train, but while we were on the Victory Tour, I started to. I realized, but I never wanted to accept it. When they brought you back from the Capitol, it nearly ripped my heart out, I had no choice but to accept it then. I knew on the tour, I knew during all the wedding dresses, I knew during training, the roof, and the beach. Deep down, I think maybe I've always known. I love you Peeta; and nothing is ever going to change that."

He looks up at me with those eyes, oh those eyes. They remind me so much of the ocean from district four that we had been so fortunate to see during the Victory Tour. He takes my hands firmly in his own; he speaks sternly and seriously, but with not an ounce of anger.

"Katniss, did you mean everything you just said?"

"Of course, why would I lie to you?"

His only response was to pull me into those strong arms that I'd missed so much and cradle me there against his muscular chest. I reveled in the contact between our skin; his warmth engulfing me and leaving me wanting more. But I wouldn't push that matter tonight; Peeta had come down from his hijacking enough that he didn't try to break me in half with his embrace and that was good enough for me.

As much as I protested, he pulled away and looked into my eyes again.

"I love you Katniss; please never forget that."

"I missed you."

"I was always right here; it just took me a while to realize where here really was."

"I'll never forget Peeta," I said, rising to leave. His hand stopped my again, pulling me back onto the bed to face him.

"Please don't go; I know you had a reason for coming over here other than to tell me how you felt. You had a nightmare didn't you?" I nodded. "Was it about me? Did I hurt you?"

"No, it was about everyone we've lost. They were telling me how much they hate me for taking their lives away from them."

"You didn't kill them Katniss. The Capitol did; you shouldn't blame yourself for what they did."

"But they did it because of me. Now please, just let me go home and wallow in my self pity." I rose.

"Please don't go; I need you to stay here with me tonight. I can't wake up in the morning without you lying next to me." He looked up at me with sadness in his eyes. I couldn't do this to him. "Please."

I sat back down on his bed and nodded. He pulled me into his arms and we laid down in each other's embrace. It wasn't long before the warmth and comfort of my boy with the bread lulled me off to sleep. That night was the first since the Quell that I had spent without even a glimmer of a nightmare.