Title: Behind green eyes… there are some brown ones.

Author: Slashydutchie

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: SS/OMC, SS/HP (depending on how you look at it, that is), RW/HG

Summary: After a spell-accident Severus' lover disappears. Unknown to anyone his body is imprisoned in Hogwarts itself and his soul is placed into a book, as is the cliché in the wizarding world. Years later, seventh year Harry Potter opens it and ends up possessed. Since the curse makes it impossible for the spirit to just tell Snape, he settles for annoying the Hell out of him. After all, he's the only one who's ever dared to do that.

Yes, this is something thought up at 4 AM after not getting any sleep for two days. It isn't a story for those readers looking for an in-depth plot, it's mainly going to be some fun. It seemed nice to have Severus paired with someone who at first glance appears to be entirely wrong and have a bit of rebellious Harry.

Somewhat AU, obviously, not compliant with a lot of things, but who really cares?

Genre: Humor, Parody, Romance

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. Mitch however is entirely mine, as is the scenario since I don't believe I've ever seen it before. If I'm wrong, feel free to correct me.

Feedback: Yes please. Reviews happy author.

Archive: Ask first, or rather tell me first, I'm most likely okay with it.

xoxoxo-September 1981-xoxoxo

"Mitchell Gordon! Stop that this instant!" Minerva aimed one of her iciest stares at the man, who was frustratingly enough entirely unaffected, save for some mild annoyance. "Sev, tell Minnie not to call me 'Mitchell'!" Definitely-Not-Mitchell was currently lying on the sofa in the teacher's lounge, tossing something small and probably very fragile into the air before catching it again. He was a reasonable looking guy, an average hight, with spiky brown hair and lively brown eyes gave him quite a youthful appearance, which was also aided by his small circle beard and the mockery of a student's uniform he was wearing. He'd refused the teacher's robes, but Dumbledore had insisted on something and this was as close as the Headmaster had managed to get his DADA teacher to wearing an uniform. He blinked when a long fingered hand snatched the object out of the air before returning it to McGonagall.

"Just a three things. Minerva, call him Mitch… we all know how he insists on it. Mitch, stop annoying Minerva and last, but most importantly, do not call me 'Sev'." Severus then proceeded to grab the man by his badly knotted tie and pull him up for a kiss, almost choking the poor guy in the process. "Aww… how'bout Sevvie? I like Sevvie. It's the choice between that and poodle." Snape frowned at his lover. "Where in the world did you get 'poodle'?" Mitch grinned up at him. "I've seen you fresh out of the shower, babe." Minerva shook her head and gracefully moved out of the way to the door. The Potions Master, meanwhile, went into full 'mean teacher'-mode. "Mister Gordon… you have a three seconds head start." The other man laughed, but the second his lover's lips started to move he jumped over the back of the couch and ran for it.

"You're not really going to chase him, are you?" Minerva smiled at her younger colleague. "No… but he knows that. I'm off to the duelling club. Are you coming along?" Severus offered with a sort of half-grin. "No, but you boys go and play..." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "And don't tell him I said that. Merlin knows what kind of liberties he'd take." The dark man nodded and then leisurely made his way towards the club. When he got there, he found Mitch already waiting… and panting just a little. "Finally! I thought you'd never arrive!" Severus raised an eyebrow at him. "Really now? And here I was thinking you were running away and hoping I wouldn't catch you." The other man scratched the back of his head. "Just pick a student for the first duel, will you?" Snape chuckled and selected a Slytherin, while Mitchell picked one of his Ravenclaw students.

"Okay guys, you know the rules… go ahead."

Mitch came to stand next to Severus while the students duelled. "I wasn't really running, you know." The darker man aimed a smug smile at him. "Really? The rate at which your legs were moving had me entirely fooled." The brown-haired man laughed softly and gave Snape a gentle nudge. "Don't get witty on me, you little…" His head snapped up in the direction of the duelling platform. "What's that spell?" He didn't get an answer, but did notice Severus drawing his wand. That was bad news. Then, several things happened all at once.

Severus cast a spell in an attempt to negate whatever had been cast by the students. One student threw a hex that was supposed to relocate the other to mid-air, the other cast some sort of jinx and with Gryffindor foolishness… Mitch jumped in between to protect the students. The next moment, he was gone.

xoxoxo-1997-xoxoxo

"Well, I still say it's irresponsible," Hermione crossed her arms and huffed at the two boys. "Yeah, 'Mione, but you always say everything's irresponsible and we always end up doing it anyway," Ron put in. "Besides, it's just a bunch of old books, who knows what kind of cool things Harry finds?" His girlfriend fixed him with another glare. "What are you, new?! It's the restricted section, those aren't just books! No book at Hogwarts is just a book, Ron! I say it's foolish and you shouldn't go, Harry!" She turned to… air. Or rather, the air that her friend had previously occupied. "Harry? Oh, shit… he's already gone, hasn't he?" Ron nodded a particularly smug nod. "Yup."

And so it was that Harry Potter prowled the Restricted Section of the Library hidden under his Invisibility Cloak and keeping half an eye on the Marauder's Map. He and Ron had been bored out of their skulls and quite frankly, Harry was tired of getting beaten at chess. That was how this plan had come into existence. There had to be a book here somewhere that could do something cool… and not entirely horrible. There appeared to be a lot of books capable of being horrible or gruesome, fun not so much.

After what seemed like an eternity, he found a book that didn't seem to be particularly menacing. It didn't have a title, but the colours seemed cheerful enough. He opened it. "Ooh… pretty… shiny…" were the only things to come out of his mouth before he hit the floor.

xoxoxo-Two days later-xoxoxo

Brown eyes opened and scanned the unfamiliar cracks in a white ceiling. Mitch groaned. Wow, that was some wicked… whatever it had been. He didn't get much time to think about it, because his vision was suddenly filled with a lot of bushy brown hair. "Harry, I'm so glad you're awake! I told you it was a bad idea to go there! How do you feel?" The hair shifted and revealed a face. "Er… I'm not quite sure who you are, miss, and my name isn't 'Harry', but I am sure that it isn't appropriate for a student to hug a teacher with this much enthusiasm." The little speech had half the desired effect. She let him go, but on the downside the girl was now looking at him as if she seriously doubted his sanity. The professor shrugged it off and sat up a little, when he suddenly noticed something.

The world seemed… bigger… and slightly different from usual. He looked down at himself and frowned when he didn't see any hair on his chest. He touched his chin. "Okay, who shaved me?" He glared first at the girl, then at the red-haired boy standing beside her. The boy gaped at him. "Hermione… his eyes…"

Hermione was, as always, was a lot quicker on the uptake and grabbed a mirror. "Well, whoever you are… you'd better have a look in this." Mitch shrugged and took the mirror. "And what is it I'm supposed to… see… HOLY SHIT!" Ron couldn't help but grin. "Yeah, that. Though I think everyone here needs to do some explaining. At least enough to get out of here. I may not be a genius like 'Mione here, but I don't think Pomfrey will let you go if she thinks you've got multiple personalities."

xoxoxo-One and a half hour plus a fussy nurse later-xoxoxo

"So… you're from the year 1981. You used to be a teacher here. You ended up in our friend's body because of a spell accident and you're name is Mitch Gordon. Does that sum it up?" Hermione looked like someone who found this explanation very satisfying due to a seriously disturbed weirdness-scale as a result of over-exposure. "Yes, and I was the Head of Ravenclaw even though I didn't go to school here. First one to do that," Mitch nodded. "And…" came the horrified voice of Ron Weasley. "You shagged Snape." Both others sighed, this was only the twenty-seventh time he'd mentioned it. "Yes, Ron… and I was even planning to marry him before I ended up in a bloody book." The redhead looked quite nauseated. "That's just… weird. And disturbing."

"Yes, Ron. You've pointed that out quite often," Hermione rolled her eyes. "But the solution is clear. We simply tell him. If he cared that much about you, he'll do whatever he can to get things back to normal." Mitch nodded. "Good plan." Ron felt like contributing something useful. "We have Potions in a bit, so we'll see him soon enough." Mitch's or rather Harry's face brightened up considerably. "Brilliant! Just excuse me while I go change… this kid has no sense of style." Not for the first time today Hermione looked at him as if he'd lost his marbles. "Why would you care about that?" Mitch shrugged. "Well… it's going to be the first time in years that he sees me again. I want to make a good impression." Ron shrugged. "Sounds fair enough to me. I'll show you Harry's trunk."

xoxoxo-Just before Potions class-xoxoxo

"You know, there was really no reason to 'modify' the uniform… as you call this destruction." Hermione fixed the teacher-turned-student with a disapproving look. He just laughed. "You remind me of Minnie… really, you do. No comments on the hair? And don't start on the glasses, I couldn't see a thing through them." The bushy haired girl resolved to figure out who this 'Minnie' was, but didn't give up. "Well, you didn't have to camouflage the scar… it's a big part of Harry's personality." "Give the guy a break, 'Mione. Harry will have his body back soon enough," Ron said to his girlfriend.

The door to the classroom opened and, to the surprise of his classmates 'Harry' was the first to burst in. "You're gonna have trouble believing this because 'Suspicious' is your middle name, but I'm…" Mitch's tongue promptly stuck to the roof of his mouth, only allowing him to make a strangled noise. "You're what, mister Potter? Besides the poster child for bad clothing, that is." The former DADA teacher gestured frantically to his only friends in this time, even though 'friends' probably wasn't quite the right word for it. "Professor, he is…" Hermione suddenly found her tongue suddenly uncooperative. "It would seem both of you are," The dark man replied with sarcasm dripping from his voice, though it seemed to be a bit forced. He didn't appreciate Potter's new look much. "Go see Madame Pomfrey and get it fixed."

Hermione almost had to drag Mitch away after even writing or communicating through hints didn't work. "Well, that sucked," the man stated once he regained control of his tongue. "It appears we can't tell him directly… perhaps he has to recognize you. I read in a book once that…" Mitch raised in his hands. "No need to quote! I haven't got the time. Okay, recognize me. Honestly, how hard can it be? I have an enchanting personality that's obviously different from your friend's… he's smart… if I just behave in a way no student would dare he should figure it out in no-time!" The young woman decided it was better not to comment about this probably only ending in detention. No need to upset him just yet, not before she'd checked in the library, anyway. "Okay… let's just head back, say it wore off before we got to the Hospital Wing."

xoxoxo-A few minutes later-xoxoxo

"All better again!" Mitch announced as he walked into the classroom. The entire Slytherin/Gryffindor seventh year Potions class stared as Harry Potter… Harry Potter without glasses and a scar, but with spiky hair and a uniform that clearly didn't comply with the regulations anymore… sat down next to Ron Weasley, leaned back and placed his feet on the table.

"Mister Potter!"

When no reaction was forthcoming, Ron nudged the boy sitting next to him. "He means you, you twit." Mitch blinked at him before remembering himself. "Yes?" Severus glared daggers at him, but strangely it didn't seem to affect the damn boy in even the slightest of ways. "Yes, who?" His voice was strained, but menacing. As if he was trying to repress the urge to kill someone. Mitch brightened up at this, he could use that! Maybe he hadn't forgotten about their little 'argument' in the teacher's lounge. "Well, I don't know…" The class held its breath as their professor advanced on Harry. "You. Don't. Know?" Mitchell nodded. "And why would this be, mister Potter?" Obviously the boy had gone insane, because he chuckled. "Because you never decided," came the simple reply… simple, but not making any sense. "Decided what, pray tell?" The Potions Master was now standing directly over his student, who just smiled up at him. "Between 'Sevvie' and 'Poodle'."

A/N: Yup, evil little cliffy, isn't it?