Me: Well, I wrote this for a kink meme roughly a year ago, apparently.

Tsuruya: Apparently?

Me: I completely forgot it existed, so it's been sitting there in my documents, just waiting to be shown to someone... ~goes to hide in hole~

WARNING: This is my first attempt at porn. (Well, first attempt where I actually know what the hell I'm talking about...) This is between two guy–and some supernatural energy that's taken on a somewhat dubious form. There's also dirty talk, dub-con, oral, and teasing. But no actual sex between the two parties. ~bad poker face~

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Suzumiya Haruhi franchise. I have no part in the production of the books, anime, manga, or parody series.

I can't even think right now. Not properly, anyway. All my mind can seem to concentrate on is the constant TUG TUG of something impossibly warm and slick and GLOWING wrapped around my cock, constricting itself and loosening again.

I was already too far gone to really care about the vicious removal of my pants. All I noticed was that when they came off, more of what had to be supernatural TENTACLES came upon me–more pleasure. They wrapped around my thighs and SQUEEZED. My legs trembled and would have buckled had someone behind me not grabbed my hips and held me up.

The scent of ash and something not of this world gave the newcomer away. "Koizumi, you bastard," I bit out between pants, the inhuman appendages having not let up on their assault. "Let... go..."

"No," was the growled reply I got. The shock of Koizumi sounding so strained and so defiant froze me. I didn't resist as his hands roughly gripped my hips before going up and grasping my wrists, pulling them–and me–back into him.

I squirmed as I felt something that I can say with all confidence was NOT a tentacle pressed against my ass. Tendrils of some supernatural weirdness jerking me off was one thing, but like HELL I was just going to let Koizumi fuck me.

I said as much and he laughed, though not like he usually does. This was a dark, challenging laugh–more of a chuckle, really, and it sounded like it was telling me I had no idea what I was talking about. And I felt something in me twitch, something I would have tried to squash if all of my blood wasn't currently choosing to either go to my cock or my face.

The next thing I knew, my back wasn't pressed against his chest but against a wall. I was finally face to face with Koizumi, and I saw him in a way I'd never seen him before. He was still in his more normal form, but I could see the glow of his Esper powers just beneath the surface. The bastard was literally glowing with power.

Before I could even think to question him, I was distracted by my current little friends. The tentacles that had been squeezing my thighs just so were now trailing to my knees and tugging my legs apart. As they did this, the ones around my cock started to jerk me a little faster, making my breath catch.

I noticed a notably thicker tendril slink to me and twine itself up my leg. The tip (which looked as if it was slightly more swollen than the rest of its... body?) seemed to pause just below my encased dick and tilt slightly. I briefly entertained the thought that it reminded me of a curious snake before the idea was shattered from my mind as it quickly moved under me and impaled me.

My breath left my body in a silent scream as I felt it drive as deep as it could into my hole. For a moment, time seemed to stand still. But it started again as soon as the tentacle inside me seemed wriggle and then begin to slide back out before rushing back in, as if it was cold and needed me to warm it up.

I looked up at Koizumi–whom was still holding my wrists away from my body–and felt like dying as I did. I felt like some whore, with my legs spread and that thick tentacle thrusting steadily into me, displayed as I was in front of him. It was only made worse by the realization that we were in a Closed Space and these tentacles that had been pleasuring me for who knows how long were obviously formed by his powers. No wonder he laughed like he did before.

As I tried to twist away, fight, do SOMETHING to regain any of the dignity I had lost, his eyes narrowed and he let go of my wrists. My own eyes widened as the tentacle in me seemed to grow thicker, stretching me, and causing me to fall to my knees when they finally buckled.

Before I could get my bearings, a hand pushed my face up, and I was met with a dick I refuse to admit might be just a bit larger than my own. The hand, Koizumi's hand, moved to the back of my head and tried to push my mouth onto the cock, Koizumi's cock. I kept my mouth shut, but Koizumi's a resourceful bastard.

The jerking on my dick sped up, causing my mouth to open to let out a low moan, which was all the opening he needed to shove himself in. I could taste him and I wanted him out. I tried to push my tongue, but it did little good, as all he did was groan in a decidedly not displeased manner. He tried to pull out and push back in, but I resisted and made it as damn unpleasant as getting head CAN be for a guy.

Like I said, though, Koizumi's resourceful, and apparently he's got more tricks up his sleeve than I wished he DIDN'T know what to do with. The thicker tentacle stopped thrusting and just stayed inside my hole, wiggling around, poking and prodding, like it was searching for something. I shuddered when it brushed against something, and it froze.

I didn't even have a second to ponder if this was a bad sign before it pressed fully against whatever it was inside me that seemed to feel so damn good. My mouth fell fully open and Koizumi took advantage, thrusting in and out, going harder with each thrust. I felt his cock touch the back of my throat and gagged, reflexively trying to keep myself from vomiting.

The tentacles jerked harder on my cock, and the thick tentacle inside me abused that spot. It rubbed all over it, and then it GROUND against that place–so fucking hard that I forgot about everything and just came harder than any time I'd ever masturbated. By the time I was done, I was so drained I didn't even stop to think before I swallowed Koizumi's cum as it slid down my throat.

But I was still registered the words–orders–Koizumi growled hotly into my ear as he dragged me to him. "Don't go to sleep just yet, Kyon. My powers haven't quite settled down yet, and now that you've been prepared, I can fuck you properly, instead of holding back and making do with that pretty mouth of yours."

All I could think was, 'You call that PREPARATION?'

Me: ...Don't ask. ~coughs~ Anyways, to clear a few things up, I did take some liberties with the mechanics, seeing as a semi-solidified energies in the form of tentacles is a little... yeah. So, don't bitch about that part too much, please.

If you could review or something to give me a solid idea of my attempt at porn, please do.

And for those who might want a continuation of this or a prequel of what led up to this? ...I'll get back to you on that.