The Random Saga

by sn4ilkit-archive

Since I've always wanted to do a random Warriors fic, here it is! I admit, the characters are weird and there are a lot of references, but hopefully you read the original series. Just rated T to get an audience that understands, it's fine if you're K .

1. Chapter 1

1st Warriors fiction! Yay! I don't need "I liked it" in my reviews(Though you can!), just con-crit (constructive critisism). Thanks!

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The Random Saga

Allegiances:

HoluClan

LEADER

???star

Green she-cat with orange muzzle

Leaderly on outside, scarred on inside

DEPUTY

Walcregit

Small light brown tabby tom with unusually large credit card

Writes scripts for ???star for ceremonies in spare time

MEDICINE CAT

PeptoBismolpelt

Pink she-cat with label on underbelly; hums medicine jingles and may cause drowsiness

WARRIORS (toms, and she-cats without kits)

Grapejuicepelt

Yummy purple she-cat who is bombarded with cats when they are sharing tongues

Apprentice, Winepaw

Hammertail

Solid tan tom with unusually shaped heavy tail

Disneyheart

Black she-cat who believes that "The dream that you wish will come true"

Apprentice, Framepaw

OMGLOLpelt

Cream-colored she-cat who won't get off her computer; has been on a chatroom nonstop since she was a kit

INSERT CAT NAME HERE

White cat made of registration forms

Apprentice, SignHerepaw

QUEENS

N/A

ELDERS

Eye

Self-explanatory

Ear

Same as above

Mouth

Same as "Same as above"

Bob

Don't ask

Chapter 21

What!!!

I'm the narrator, and I say it's chapter 1.

Chapter 1.1

NO!!

Chapter 1

Okay.

Yeah.

Do you expect me to tell you a story? WHY DO YOU ASK SO MUCH OF ME!!! WHY!!!

Alright.

Once upon a time there was a cat named Cinderellaheart. She had an evil Stepmother and Stepsisters, and she lived happily ever after with the twin of a glass slipper from Norway that was broken by the Stepmother.

Oh.

You mean the REAL story. The "Random"one.

I'm not that good at that, but I can try.

Let's start in the Random Saga forest, in HoluClan territory…

"No, Walcregit! I need a script with LESS scary words, not more!"

"What scary words?"

"If, but and, or, yes, no, ancestors, StarClan, do, accept, duties…"

"What do you want to say at OMGLOLpaw's ceremony, then?

"Nothing."

"Fine. I'll do it."

Walcregit sighed as he walked away from his fearful leader. The only ceremony he had ever performed finished with "By the power invested in me…" and was regretted instantly when all three cats realized they were being tricked by a now-laughing StarClan warrior, who was his dad.

Suddenly, a cat that made him drowsy came out of the Medicine Cat's den/Hospital. He recognized PeptoBismolpelt, screaming;

"The Sky is falling! The Sky is- Oh. Hi Walcregit! I just saw a symbol from StarCla-Wait! I forgot to say the Mousefur line! Too bad. Symbol from StarClan!"

"How did you receive the prophecy?"

"It was in the form of a flaming chicken from up there!"

"What was the message?"

"Fire alone- Oh. Sorry. Wrong story. If you do not eat cheese, you will not get the Bellsouth Hi-Speed internet connection promised by Bluestar!"

"Who's Bluestar?"

"Oh. She's a character in a book I'm reading that sounds old-fashioned compared to our clans."

Walcregit's eyes drooped from the drowsiness that PeptoBismolpelt was causing, but he remembered to ask one thing before he drifted off to sleep.

"What's chee?"

"Cheese. It's a food that Twolegs make and eat with and on other foods."

"Does it have a wife or husband?"

"What do you think? It's Single!"

Walcregit had barely enough time for his brain to process the joke before he drifted off.

"Clan! Time for sharing tongues!"

All the toms bombarded Grapejuicepelt, who was overwhelmed by all the licking. Even a half-asleep Walcregit joined in. Suddenly, the "BIG VOICE" from Chicken Little boomed,

"You can't lick her, I must. If you don't let me lick her, you will be tortured by processed bits of yellowy goodness!"

"I Can't Believe It's Not Butter?"

"NO!!! I Can't Believe It's Not Cheese!"

"Well, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."

"I don't care what you Believe!"

"Well, I don't care that you don't care what I Believe!"

"This is getting too complicated!"

"Well, you started it!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Are you sure!"

"Yes-Oh no! You pulled a Bugs Bunny on me!"

"What's up Doc?"

"Nothing much."

"I wasn't talking to you, PeptoBismolpelt!"

"This chapter's getting long!"
"Well I don't care. Duck Duck…(most edited out for sake of space)…Duck Goose!"

"Bye!"

End of Chapter 21…er…1

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Bad name for story! I know!