All Characters in Chapter One:
Name: Show: Summary: Lines:
Nikki 6teen Gothic girl with purple hair. 55
Jen 6teen Bossy girl. 25
Caitlyn 6teen Girl who is obsessed with fashion. 17
Narrator -None- Me! 15
Duncan Total Drama Gwen's Boyfriend. 15
Gwen Total Drama Gothic girl with blue hair. 14
Jude 6teen Dude with a weird fashion. 8
Waiter -None- Duncan's Waiter. 7
Secret Guy -None- Boy that Nikki will soon date. 6
Star 6teen Jude's Girlfriend. 5
Jonesy 6teen Man who is obsessed with money. 4
Ron 6teen The mall's rent-a-cop. 4
Brian -None- Nikki's boyfriend. 4
Heather Total Drama Skinny, annoying girl. 4
Wyatt 6teen Someone who is obsessed with java. 2
Secret Guy's GF -None- Secret Guy's Girlfriend. 2
Alejandro Total Drama Muscular Latino. 2
Clone 2 6teen Nikki's employee. 2
Clone 3 6teen Nikki's employee. 2
Darth 6teen Nikki's admirer. 2
Waitress -None- Nikki's waitress. 1
Toy Hut Manager -None- Toy Store's Manager. 1
Duncan 2 Total Drama A different Duncan. 1
Clone 1 6teen Nikki's manager. 1
Narrator: (sitting at their normal table.)
Nikki: Uh! It's the Khaki Barn's sweater sale today!
Jonesy: Ha, ha! You look nice in a sweater, it covers up your fat arms! (laughing.)
Nikki: Excuse me?
Jonesey: Nothing!
Nikki: I'll see you guys later, going to go to my shift at the Tacky Barn.
Jen: Have you guys noticed anything different about Nikki lately?
Caitlyn: I know I have, it's probably about the new guy she's dating.
Jen: Oh yeah! Brian, yuck! I don't know what she sees in that guy!
Caitlyn: I know, right?
Jude: Ah, that dude is sweet!
Jen: You can't just like him because he's your only customer at Stick-It!
Jude: Ahhh!
Caitlyn: We got to find her a new boyfriend. According to Girlfriend Weekly, girls are more happy when they date someone that looks like them.
Jen: That's it! Let's find her some gothic dude!
Jonesy: But I still like her!
Jen: Sssh! You already broke her heart once.
Caitlyn: Hey Jude! Can I borrow your laptop?
Jude: Sure bra!
Caitlyn: OK, let's go to .com
Jen: What? Nikki's not desperate.
Caitlyn: I know but, you won't believe who you can find here.
Jude: So Caitlyn, you've been here before?
Caitlyn: Umm, no!
Jen: (laughing.) Ha!
Caitlyn: Ahh! Here's a guy! Gothic, enjoys long walks in the park and classical music.
Jen: He's perfect!
Caitlyn: And... Matched! For a date, tonight at seven o'clock!
Jen: Great! Now, I'll call Nikki!
Narrator: (now we go to the secret guy, Nikki will soon date!)
Secret Guy: Finally!
Secret Guy's GF: Finally, what?
Secret Guy: Um, nothing!
Secret Guy's GF: Why are you on .com ?
Secret Guy: No I'm not! By the way, I'm meeting an old friend, see you later! Gotta go, bye!
Narrator: (now back to the mall.)
Nikki: You what?
Caitlyn: You'll love him! Come on!
Nikki: I don't do blind dates!
Jen: Please?
Nikki: No!
Jen: Please?
Nikki: Fine, but only this one time!
Jen: Yes!
Caitlyn: Yes!
Nikki: (Hangs up phone.) Now I got to talk to Brian, this should be easy!
Brian: Hey Nikki! (Chewing on a meatloaf Stick-It.)
Nikki: There's something I got to tell you!
Brian: What? (In a worried voice.)
Nikki: I'd rather date the brothers, Dum and Dummer. Than go on another date with you.
Brian: (Chokes on the meatloaf Stick-It.) That's very insulting!
Nikki: Yeah well, too bad! (Walks away.)
Brian: (Sobbing.)
Narrator: (Back to the mystery man!)
Secret Guy: I hope my hair is OK. Is it, Mrs.?
Waitress: It's soon to be Mrs., and no. Sorry, but it looks like a wreck.
Secret Guy: I've been in juvy, 9 times!
Nikki: (Walks in.) Your hair is green!
Secret Guy: You like it?
Nikki: Sure, why is there a skull on your shirt?
Narrator: (Piece of evidence: Secret Guy = Duncan and Secret Guy's GF = Gwen.)
Gwen: (Walks in) Huh? Duncan?
Nikki: Wait, who's this girl?
Gwen: His ex-girlfriend!
Nikki: You little cheater!
Gwen: Duncan! How could you? (Sobbing.)
Jen: Nikki, Nikki, wake up!
Nikki: Thank god! I had such the oddest dream!
Caitlyn: You look worried. What was the dream about?
Nikki: I met my blind date. He was cheating on me. Her name was Gwen and his name was Duncan.
Jen: Wait, who's Gwen?
Nikki: His girlfriend, he's cheating on me!
Jen: Yeah right! Your gonna go on this date and have a great time!
Nikki: I will but what if he is really cheating on me?
Jen: He's not! What do you know?
Nikki: A lot, and OK. I'm always right…
Narrator: (Has anybody been wondering what Jude is doing, during all of this? Well here you go!)
Jude: Let's do it!
Star: OK!
Jude: Woo, hoo!
Star: Yeah!
Jude: Oh this is relaxing!
Star: Yeah, but now I'm all wet.
Ron: Jumping inside of place with water in public places in violation against "Code: 1,632,452½"!
Star: Ahh!
Ron: Oh honey, your not getting one. Only your boy toy is!
Star: My boy-toy?
Ron: Yeah!
Jude: Dude, that's so uncool!
Ron: When I was in war, my head was pulled off so I wouldn't be crying if I were you!
Jude: I'm not even crying!
Narrator: (Back to Nikki's date.)
Nikki: Wait, were am I meeting this guy again?
Jen: At the sushi place.
Nikki: OK then.
Jen: Look for hi… There he is!
Nikki: Where?
Jen: The one with the green hair.
Nikki: Him? He has a skull on his shirt, Hey! I like him!
Duncan: Hi ugo!
Nikki: Excuse me?
Duncan: Just kidding, just kidding, geese. Your actually not too bad.
Nikki: Well your not good at first impressions.
Duncan: (Pulls out a chair for Nikki.)
Waiter: Could I bring you some California Rolls?
Duncan: With butter?
Nikki: California Rolls are sushi, not bread.
Waiter: Correct!
Wyatt: Nikki? (Spits out his coffee.) I thought you were dating Brian?
Duncan: Who are you and Nikki, who's this Brian guy?
Nikki: Do you have to ruin my life Wyatt? And no, I broke up with him a long time ago (This morning.) God, and Wyatt leave before I physically take you out!
Wyatt: Fine and Nikki, sorry about spitting the coffee all over your face.
Nikki: I'll get over it.
Duncan: Who is that?
Nikki: My friend Wyatt.
Waiter: IS ANYBODY GOING TO ORDER ANYTHING?
Nikki: Shut up grandpa and yes, I'll take some California Rolls, some Makizuski (I know this because I eat it all the time.), some egg rolls, and some chicken dumplings.
Waiter: And you?
Duncan: Whatever is good on the menu.
Waiter: That would be everything sir.
Duncan: Soup.
Waiter: Stir-fry or Cantonese noodles?
Duncan: Whatever doesn't sound like a barf-bag.
Waiter: That would be both sir.
Duncan: Shut-up! God!
Waiter: Fine, execution style meal for the lady and a glass of water for the little girl. Be right back.
Duncan: How dare he? He called you a little girl!
Nikki: I think he called you that.
Duncan: Even worse!
Nikki: So umm, where do you work?
Duncan: I don't, I live off my folks.
Nikki: Nice!
Clone 1: Nikki!
Clone 2: Nikki!
Clone 3: Nikki!
Darth: Nikki?
Nikki: Oh my god! Why are you all here?
Darth: Your dating an ugo!
Nikki: That would be you and no, I'm not going to date you.
Clone 2: You should be working your shift! Khaki Barn, ring a bell?
Nikki: Uhh! I'm tired of you losers, all pestering me! I quit!
Clone 3: But…
Nikki: LEAVE!
Clone 3: Fine!
Duncan: You work at a store called the Khaki Barn?
Nikki: I used too.
Narrator: (Back to Gwen.)
Gwen: (Sobbing, then reads a note on the door.) Things to do list: 1: Date Nikki, 2: Dump Gwen, 3: Pick up some bread. I know what I'm gonna do! Drive down to the mall and confront him and her before she starts to love him!
Narrator: (Back to Nikki.)
Nikki: You're the first boyfriend that actually kinda gets me.
Duncan: (Motioning to a kiss.)
Nikki: (Motioning to a kiss.)
Gwen: STOP!
Nikki: I KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN!
Gwen: What?
Nikki: Your Gwen and you're dating Duncan!
Gwen: Not anymore, but how do you know this?
Nikki: I had a dream about this.
Gwen: That's weird. Duncan? Why were you on .com?
Nikki: JEN! You found him on .com!
Narrator: (To the lemon.)
Caitlyn: Did I just hear Nikki scream your name?
Jen: Yep, this isn't good!
Narrator: (Back to Nikki.)
Duncan: (Evil smile.) I can explain!
Gwen: No you can't! You broke our hearts!
Duncan 2: Why did some guy dress up like me?
Nikki: There's two Duncan's?
Gwen: That's not poss… One of the Duncan's has a zipper on its back!
Nikki: (Pulls down zipper.) Who's that hunk?
Gwen: Alejandro?
Alejandro: Darn! I almost had you!
Narrator: (What does Heather think about this? To Heather's house!)
Heather: (Sitting on a couch with a bag of potato chips watching 6teen.) How could you Alejandro?
Narrator: (Back to Nikki.)
Jen: What's going on?
Nikki: Oh nothing! Jen, can I talk to you and Caitlyn in the bathroom?
Jen: Sure, why?
Caitlyn: No! I'm not going into a public restroom.
Jen: Yeah Caitlyn! Good idea, bye!
Nikki: Fine, I'll tell you. You found Duncan on .com?
Jen: NO!
Caitlyn: We can't lie to her!
Nikki: So you admit it!
Jen: It's only because Caitlyn suggested it.
Nikki: I bet you have an account on that site, don't you Caitlyn?
Caitlyn: Fine! It's… 1887imsocute!
Nikki: (Laughing hysterically.)
Caitlyn: (Crying.)
Heather: You almost kissed some gothic chick that looks like somebody puked grape jelly on her hair!
Nikki: Who's that?
Heather: You're scarier up close than I though!
Nikki: (Punches Heather in the eye.)
Jen: Way to go Nikki!
Gwen: Wait, how did Alejandro get into my house?
Alejandro: Yeah, good question!
Nikki: (Punches Alejandro in the eye.)
Caitlyn: Nikki! Show them who's boss!
Narrator: (Let's see how Jonesy's new job at the "Toy Hut" is working out for him!)
Jonesy: Oh la, la!
Toy Hut Manager: Stop looking at that woman Jonesy! Jonesy! You're fired!
Narrator: Next chapter is hilarious! You've seen enough today! THE END!)
THE END!