This chapter is dedicated to Colourful-Mess for beta-reading it.

The Ultimate Question
Chapter 1

"Arthur."
"Mm?"
"Arthur."
Arthur Dent opened his eyes and blearily regarded the ceiling. It was a particularly nice white for a ceiling; nice and peaceful, he thought. He then remembered why he had woken up, and looked across at Fenchurch, who was dressing. This was enough to make his eyes open fully and he pushed himself into a sitting position.
"What?" he asked.
"Ford wants to see you on the bridge."
"Oh God. What now?"
"He says he has this `really froody idea' that he wants to share with you," replied Fenchurch, brushing her hair. "Apparently it's important."
"Well, so's my lie-in," declared Arthur, lying back down.
It was no good; the ceiling was just the wrong shade of white now. He turned to Fenchurch.
"Fenchurch..."
"Yes?"
"Is it just me or has the ceiling changed colour?" he asked suspiciously.
"For your own comfort and convenience, your Sirius Cybernetics Adaptive Colour Scheme has altered your ceiling colour from `Cloud' to `Picket Fence'" announced an irritatingly chirpy voice from above Arthur's head.
"Well, change it back again, will you?"
"Certainly."
"In fact, no. I'll go and see what Ford thinks is froody enough to disturb my lie-in. And it better be damned good."
Arthur got out of bed and got dressed. He had finally bought a smart new suit form the Arkumeglon Superstore on Sirius 5 (Now selling new Sirius Cybernetics People Personality Robots! Get yours instore today!) but had been unable to get rid of his faithful old dressing gown, which was now moldering quietly at the bottom of his blue holdall.
Fenchurch smiled and kissed him on the forehead. Tired of working at Milliway's, she had joined Arthur on the Heart of Gold for a holiday which, at the moment, was rather uneventful.
Arthur brushed his teeth and went onto the bridge. An excited-looking Ford was standing at the monitor along with a bored Trillian and a hungover Zaphod, neither of them particularly fun to be with.
"Arthur! You took your time!" said Ford loudly.
Zaphod winced.
"Hey, Ford, can you keep it down? I've got the mother and father of a pair of headaches, and they don't want to be disturbed" he replied hoarsely.
Trillian rolled her eyes. Zaphod was getting beyond a joke now. Sometimes she wondered whether she had made the right decision by abandoning her career as a roving reporter to stay with him. It was better for Random, of course, but it did have a huge drawback, which was the ex-President of the Universe and his Trigannic Pew sized ego. What he needed was a purpose in life, she thought bitterly. Other than getting completely and utterly bombed, that is.
"I was having a lie-in, like I always do on a Saturday" responded Arthur acidly. "And then the ceiling decided to change colour and I found that I couldn't."
"Well, never mind that now. Look at this."
Arthur glanced at the monitor, which was showing a horrifyingly sunny planet.
"What's this?" he asked.
"That" replied Ford. "That is Megalamore. White beaches, blue sea, just the way you like it. And, this is the most important bit, lots of girls and alcohol. So, whaddya say?"
"Oh, I don't know, Ford" sighed Arthur. "We always go to places like that and all that happens is we get drunk for a few days, get thrown out of every bar in the city and then when we get back onboard, Zaphod gets a splitting headache -"
"I think it's a migraine now, monkey man" interjected Zaphod weakly.
"All right then, migraine, and we all have excruciating hangovers which last longer than the time we spent on the planet! It just seems so..."
"Fun? Hoopy? Mind-bogglingly exciting?" suggested Ford.
"Futile," decided Arthur.
Ford sagged.
"What do you think we should do then?"
"Oh, I don't know. How about we tackle the Ultimate Question again?" proposed Arthur.
"We know that won't work" replied Ford.
"Well for goodness sake do something," said Trillian. "Random is bored out of her mind."
Trillian went back to her cabin, leaving the men to sort it out.
"I vote we go to Megalamore," declared Ford.
"Count me out. I think I'm going to curl up in a corner somewhere," whimpered Zaphod, heading off after Trillian.
"Arthur?"
"Oh...all right then."
Ford grinned.
"Let's get going then. Computer?"
A screen lit up and whirred into life.
"This is Eddie, your shipboard computer. How can I help you guys?"
"Bring us into orbit around Megalamore," ordered Ford.
"Right on, guys."
The ship lurched forward towards the planet.
"Would you like some authentic Megalamore beach ware?" offered Eddie.
"What?" said Arthur.
"Oh, don't take any notice of it. Sirius Cybernetics have updated all of their computers so that they try and sell things every so often. Just don't say yes to him" advised Ford.
Arthur nodded.
"Well, how about some cheery beach music? For free?" continued Eddie.
Ford shrugged at Arthur.
"All right then" he said, and the sound system launched into bright steel drum music.
"That sounds just like Jamaican music! You know, Jamaica? On Earth. I was rather fond of it," declared Arthur.
"Really?" replied Ford, turning away from the monitor.
"Oh, yes. I once went to a very nice party, and..."
"And?"
"Oh, never mind. What does the Guide say about this place?"
"Have a look."
Ford threw the Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy to Arthur, who dropped it. Picking it up, he typed in 'Megalamore' and scrolled down the page until he found an entry:

Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Entry 2, 738, 691

Megalamore is a spectacularly beautiful and incredibly hoopy destination, containing some of the best cocktail bars in the Flagella-Hencha Star System. It holds some of the biggest and best parties every year including the Anniversary of the Coming of the Incredible Giant Newt, during which the members of the brotherhood try their best to emulate their god. Its beaches and seas are similar to those on the planet Earth, although the sea often changes colour in summer and becomes a rather interesting shade of pinkish-violet.

"See? I told you it sounded fun!" said Ford.
Arthur shrugged, unconvinced.
"Computer! Initialise the launch pods! Destination: Megalamore planet surface."
"Sure thing guys!" replied Eddie.
Ford and Arthur went out into the launch pod hold and got into the two smooth slate grey crafts, which took off towards Megalamore.