Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, everything to the BBC

A/N: Well here's my sort-of response to the LJ challenge by Gemenied. Happy Birthday Trevor Eve!

A huge thank you to Gemenied for the beta. She really did try to explain the confusing world of punctuation to me, so any mistakes left are entirely my own!

Summary: Post Waterloo – After the demise of the CCU the team dynamics are changing…

Pastures New

The party was in full swing by the time Grace arrived. She'd blame traffic, although the truth was that she had spent an insane amount of time in front of the vintage mirror in her bedroom – trying on and discarding more outfits than she had even known she possessed. She had finally settled on a very subtle outfit. She hadn't worn it in quite some time, but it had once caused Boyd to say that she looked nice. She self-consciously tugged at her blazer, trying to pull it into shape.

"Grace!" The profiler swirled around and immediately broke into a bright smile as the reason for the party made his way over to her.

"DCI Jordan," Grace exclaimed and allowed Spence to engulf her in a bear hug.

"I was afraid you wouldn't come," Spence said and his bright smile told Grace that he had toasted to his new rank quite a few times already.

"I would never miss your promotion party!" Grace said and smiled at her former colleague proudly.

"Come on over, Boyd and Eve are here as well." Grace accepted Spence's proffered arm with a slight curtsey and an amused smile on her face. When she finally spotted the rest of their former team, she couldn't help the soft smile that broke out on her face.

"Look who I've found," Spence called and Boyd and Eve instantly focussed their attention on her. Grace hugged Eve and for a moment allowed herself to acknowledge how much she had really missed all this. Boyd simply smiled at her and instantly told a passing waiter to bring a glass of wine for Grace. The former Cold Case Unit chatted amiably – nothing indicated that they hadn't seen each other in weeks. Just as Grace felt the familiar warmth settle in her stomach again, a few people Grace didn't know came over and pulled Spence and Eve away. The youngsters wanted to protest, but Grace told them to go and have fun, they'd have time to catch up later.

"Spencer has been calling Eve quite a lot, you know," Boyd threw in casually – his eyes roaming the room.

"Oh?" Grace indicated for him to continue.

"Yes, he hasn't managed to get a new forensic pathologist yet and she's helped him with most of his cases."

"That's nice," Grace said after a brief moment of silence in which she desperately battled the feeling of jealousy that had begun snaking through her body. Spence had been in regular contact with Eve, but had only managed to meet her for a very short coffee. And Boyd was apparently well informed on what was going on with Spence and possibly Eve as well… while she had been glad about the ten minute phone conversation she and Boyd had managed in the past four weeks.

Boyd obviously wanted to say something else, but was interrupted when they were joined by a group of DSIs, who Grace immediately identified as Flying Squad.

"Boyd! How good to see you! How's retirement treating you?" Grace bit her lower lip to prevent herself from chuckling at the pained look Boyd shot her, before he greeted his former colleagues in rank with handshakes. She quickly excused herself – more than sure that she wouldn't be able to handle the testosterone laden talk that would surely follow in a minute.

She quietly wandered to the other side of the room, content to engage in one of her favourite pastimes – watching people. A party was a good place for that she reckoned.

She languidly took a sip of the rich burgundy Boyd had ordered for her and allowed her eyes to wander. Eve and Spence were laughing loudly with what Grace assumed were members of Spence's new unit. She was glad that the two of them were still close, even if she had been removed from the circle. She had naturally worried about her team members – most of all about Boyd and Spencer. She had been fairly confident that Eve would be able to adapt to the new situation and after all Eve had only been with them for four years and not nine like the rest of them.

But it seemed, her worry had been unfounded when it came to the other two as well. Spence seemed to thrive on the new rank and Boyd… her eyes quickly found the object of her interest and she couldn't help the small smile that played on her lips. He seemed surprisingly relaxed and refreshed – as if retirement really wasn't that bad for him. Grace watched him as he finally managed to get away from his present company.

Instead of looking for her though, which she had hoped he would, he turned around and walked over to Spencer and Eve. Grace immediately noticed how the other members of Spence's unit seemed to be rather familiar with Boyd. He easily joined their conversation and their joking.

Grace lowered her eyes and desperately tried to will away the stabbing pain in her chest. She had never expected that she'd be the one least able to adept to the new situation, to the end of the unit. Apparently the others had easily moved on, but she was constantly thinking about old times. Hadn't she always badgered Boyd about letting go and moving on? Why then did she find it so hard to heed her own advice? The truth was that she hated it back at Broadmoor. Her co-workers were pleasant, no doubt about that, but there was no spark there, no chemistry. Grace missed the sterile atmosphere of the CCU headquarters; she missed Spence's humour and Eve's dry remarks. She sometimes even missed Boyd's yelling. At Broadmoor everything was discussed in quiet and calm tones – it drove her up the wall.

She also missed the excitement that police work brought with it. Grace couldn't help groaning softly at her own thought process. Hadn't she always been the one claiming that she longed for the calm of Broadmoor, the chance of working closely with patients instead of simply profiling them? What had changed now? Was she a textbook case of the 'the grass is always greener'-syndrome?

A round of loud and raucous laughter broke into her dark musings and she looked up to see Boyd clap Spence on the shoulder, both men in stitches over something a young woman in their circle had said. Grace took a closer look and suddenly felt her chest constricting again. She knew she had seen that woman before. She couldn't quite remember her name, but she had run into her at home office not too long ago. They had gotten talking and the young woman had told her that she was a psychological profiler as well. Grace remembered the incident so well, because she had felt guilty back then – guilty because she envied the young woman her job and the excitement it would provide her. The realization that this young woman was the new profiler for Spence's team momentarily took Grace's breath away.

So while the other team members had stayed in close contact, she had simply been replaced. Grace didn't care that a small voice in her head whispered to her that she was being irrational. Without thinking about it further, she put her glass of wine on top of the next table and left the pub.

She walked over to her car, but at the last moment decided against driving. In her state it would probably not be favourable. Instead she pulled her coat closer around herself and began walking home – hoping that the cold air would not only numb her body, but her mind as well.

It took her a little over an hour to reach her home. Halfway there she had finally decided to take the tube to avoid death by hypothermia. Her house lay quiet and for a second Grace dreaded the silence that would greet her inside.

She dropped her bag near the entrance and tiredly made her way upstairs. She briefly debated taking a bath, but then settled on a shower instead. She allowed the hot water to pour over her exhausted body, but the water failed to wash away the emotions that kept swirling through her mind. When she stepped out again, she knew that she was still too upset to go to bed directly. She slowly walked into her kitchen and poured herself a glass of red wine. Maybe if she drank enough, she would be allowed to catch some dreamless sleep later.

She didn't bother to switch on the lights in her living room as she settled in her favourite arm chair. Staring unseeingly ahead, she permitted her mind to replay the events of the evening in her head. She probably should have said goodbye to the others, but she hoped they'd understand when she told them tomorrow that she hadn't been feeling well and hadn't wanted to spoil the party for them.

Her reverie was broken rather abruptly by frantic knocking on her front door. The sound startled her and she nearly spilled the contents of her wine glass over her armchair.

After having taken a moment to calm her racing heart, Grace hurried to her front door – convinced that only one person would dare pound on her front door that way. She ripped the door open and stared at Boyd with an incredulous expression.

"What on earth do you think you're doing?"

Boyd didn't answer, but simply stared at her – his eyes flitting from her face to the wine glass in her hand before he groaned theatrically.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me," he exclaimed, fixing Grace with an angry glare.

"I beg your pardon?" Grace's face was clearly showing the confusion she felt. Boyd was still muttering angrily to himself as he ran a hand through his silver hair.

"Get me a drink, will you? Something strong, I've got a few calls to make." He took out his Blackberry and pressed it to his ear before Grace had the chance to reply. For a second she simply stared at him before she turned around and marched into her kitchen to get him the drink he had so politely requested. She didn't really have to strain her ears to catch Boyd's phone conversation, as his baritone voice easily carried through her house.

"Spence, yes, it's me…. Yes, I found her…. She's fine….at home."

Grace felt the first signs of unease settling in her stomach. This couldn't have to do with her leaving the party without saying anything, could it?

„Well, would you like me to pass on the phone, so you can yell at her yourself? … Then I suggest you stop yelling at me…. Yes… yes, I'll tell her." Boyd finished his phone call and turned to stare at Grace again.

"Boyd, what on earth is going on?"

"Well, why don't you tell me? One minute you're happily nursing a glass of red wine in a corner and the next you are nowhere to be found."

"And that is a reason to almost knock down my front door?" Grace raised an eyebrow at him, while he took a deep swig of the proffered whiskey.

"What did you expect to happen? You leave without saying anything, you don't answer your mobile phone, your car still is where you've left it," his explanations were accompanied by erratic movements of his hands.

"You raised the alarm?" Grace asked – her eyes widening.

"Yeah well… what should we have done? We all thought you were too well mannered to leave without telling one of us. Why did you leave anyway?"

"Why didn't you call my landline?" Grace asked, carefully avoiding his last question.

Boyd had gone back to staring at her. She had asked a valid question and if he was totally honest, it had simply slipped his mind. It was embarrassing really; he had been a police officer for most of his life and was trained for critical situations.

Yet when Eve had made him aware of the fact that Grace had disappeared all his training and his usual calmness had gone right out of the window. In the flurry of panic and activity following her disappearance he had just not considered her landline.

"I didn't think you'd be home," he replied tersely.

"So you come running to my house and nearly take down my front door… because you think I am not home?" She couldn't help milking the moment a little more.

"For God's sake Grace! I wasn't thinking straight, okay? Happy now?" He asked – his voice was bordering on yelling and his body began pacing almost of its own volition to keep him calm. Grace reacted with a simple nod, knowing that pushing him further would probably yield disastrous results.

"I am fine, if that is what you were wondering about… So…" She motioned rather bluntly at the door with her head, not ready to have the discussion she was sure he wanted to lead.

"You don't honestly think I am leaving before you've given me a valid reason for your strange behaviour, do you?" He asked, impatience lacing his tone. Grace forcibly exhaled through her nose as she followed his pacing with her eyes.

"I wasn't feeling too well. The last time I checked I was old enough to decide for myself when I leave a party."

"Without saying anything? Please Grace… I thought we were beyond all that bullshit. I want a real reason!"

"It's late and I am tired, Boyd. Can't we talk about this some other time?" She turned around to look outside her window, even though it was pitch dark.

"No." His answer was simple. He carefully studied her and noted her defensive posture. She wasn't the only one, who had learned to read the other closely during the ten years they had worked together. She was keeping something from him and it unsettled him more than he cared to admit.

Two can play this game, Grace thought, suddenly angry. Let's show him what it feels like to know that something is wrong, but not get the other person to open up. As soon as those bitter thoughts had come to her, they vanished again – leaving her feeling childish and frustrated. She sighed deeply and finally turned around again.

"I am afraid I am going to end up sounding like a petulant child," she said quietly.

"Great, finally a level I can relate to," Boyd replied dryly and was glad when he saw the corners of her mouth lifting slightly – the tense atmosphere between them broken for a brief moment.

"I felt… left out tonight, I suppose. You all looked like you've had a reasonable amount of contact in the past few weeks and I didn't," she explained and Boyd looked at her in wonder. He really hadn't expected her to react so touchily to the sparse contact between them. Grace noticed the guilty expression on Boyd's face and sighed deeply.

"Boyd, I am not blaming you, so stop looking so guilty. I am merely trying to explain my actions, which you so nicely asked me to do."

Boyd cleared his throat and Grace noticed that he did not only look guilty; he suddenly looked rather sheepish as well.

"I might actually really be to be blamed this time," Boyd explained hesitantly. Grace simply raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"You see, I might possibly have more or less asked Eve and Spence not to contact you."

"You what?" Grace asked – drawn between utter confusion and anger. "What reason could you possibly have given Eve and Spence not to call me?"

"It is personal. It's about something I wanted to tell you myself, and I guess Eve and especially Spence were afraid of spilling the beans," Boyd explained, turning his back to her.

"Well tell me now then and let's end this silly charade," she challenged – irritated by his evasiveness.

"Now is not the right moment," Boyd exclaimed, suddenly frustrated with the whole situation.

"Why not, what could you possibly have to tell me that would make both Eve and Spence afraid?" Grace asked, but even before she had finished the sentence she felt as if a load of bricks was being dropped on her. Of course… there was only one explanation: they had wanted to spare her feelings. "Oh my god," she breathed and this caused Boyd to turn around again, his face now one of puzzlement.

"What?"

Grace had to use every ounce of willpower she had to keep herself from snorting derisively. This was just ridiculous. "You've met someone, haven't you? And for some reason you three figured I couldn't cope with that."

Boyd didn't answer, but simply gaped at her like a fish.

"My God Boyd, we've known each other for so long. Don't you think I'd be happy for you if you found someone?" Grace asked and was extremely proud of herself – neither her voice nor her face betrayed her spoken sentiments by showing how she truly felt. Her mind was set; she wouldn't be the helpless victim in this. If he had moved on, then she would graciously step aside. The idea that everyone suspected her feelings for Boyd and that she would now be prone to the sympathetic looks of her former colleagues caused her stomach to churn.

"I've got no idea what you're talking about," Boyd stated after a tense moment of silence.

"Peter, I know as well as the next person that there has never been more than friendship between us. So there really is no need to treat me like raw eggs. You've met someone and started a new life and that is exactly what I have done, too." She used his first name to show him that she really meant what she was saying. Her arms were firmly crossed in front of her chest – for fear that their shaking would betray her act.

Boyd simply looked at her and Grace found it hard to explain why he suddenly looked so despondent.

He forced a small smile unto his face. "Well, then there is nothing left to discuss, is there?" he asked softly and when she shook her head, he nodded. Without saying anything else he turned around and left her house.

Grace stood stock-still for God knew how long. Minutes passed before her body was able to react to the turmoil in her head and her heart. Finally her knees buckled and she fell onto her couch. She wasn't a woman prone to self-pity, but at that moment she felt she had every right to wallow. So, in an effort to cleanse her mind and body of all the emotions swirling through it, she pressed her hands in front of her face and allowed herself to weep.

TBC

Thanks for reading. Reviews would be appreciated ;-)