DISCLAIMER: My first fanfic story. Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer, I just love the story and took my own spin on it. :)

Elusive Dream

Ch. 1

As I stood there looking at my reflection in the mirror I couldn't help but look away as the scar over left eye brought forth an overwhelming surge of guilt, regret, pain, loneliness and sadness. I look down to the sink and close my eyes tight. I could feel the tears building up and the lump in my throat was just getting bigger by the second.

Stop it Bella! I thought to myself. You are stronger than this, you will get through this! My thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door.

"Bella? Honey are you ok?" Charlie spoke quietly through the door.

"Yeah, I'm fine dad, be out in a bit" I replied while wiping away the few tears that were able to escape my eyes. I glanced back to the mirror to make sure my make up was ok and brushed back my hair.

"They will be starting soon and we need to take our seats" my dad said as I opened the door.

We walked slowly through the hall of the now quiet funeral home and made our way to the front isles to take our seats. I took a quick glance around the room where everyone was seated patiently waiting for the service to begin. I sat down and my eyes looked straight toward the coffin that lay open in the middle of the room. My mother lay there so peacefully that she looked like she was just taking a nap. For a few minutes all I could do was stare at her face, remembering her features, her voice and her laugh, trying to keep myself from crying. The guilt returned as I wished it would have been me instead of her.

I closed my eyes just as the Pastor took the podium and began the service. The dreadful images flooded my mind. I squeezed my eyes shut and took in a deep breath. My mother and I were on our way to the store to grab a few more boxes I needed to finish packing. We were listening to the radio full blast and trying to sing along to the words when all of a sudden we see a car coming towards us full speed from the left lane. It all happened so quickly I didn't have time to react. The car hit us head on. The next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital bed two days later. Charlie was sitting by my bed and as soon as I looked in his eyes I knew that my mother didn't make it. I shuddered as the memories were flashing in my mind. I felt Charlie wrap his arm around me tightly and I leaned my head to his shoulder.

The rest of the service and burial followed in a blur. I felt like I was out of my body looking at myself from the outside in. Just a month ago everything in my life was perfect. I had just graduated high school and received my acceptance letter to Juilliard School of Dance. In a few short weeks I was to be moving to New York. My mom was over the top excited and proud of me. Always telling me "I told you so" when she practically forced me to attend a ballet summer session when I was seven. Even Charlie told me he would help me with living expenses and tuition, not taking a "no" for an answer.

We drove home in silence. I just stared out the passenger side window looking at the dark rain clouds beginning to form. It's a rare site to see rain in Phoenix, Arizona, but it seemed go with the mood I was feeling. Charlie parked outside my mom and my apartment building and we got off the car, still not speaking, but he wrapped his arm around me and led the way up the stairs.

My mom and I lived in a small two bedroom apartment which suited us just fine. She had divorced Charlie when I was about three years old and moved us to the dessert. She always would say she was a sun and sand type of girl. Forks, Washington, where my father lived, was not her cup of tea. Throughout the years they maintained a good relationship and I would visit my father every summer. I still had two weeks before I was expected to arrive in New York to get settled into my dorm, and now with everything that has happened, it looked like I was going to be going back with Charlie to Forks for those two weeks. My mom's sisters said not to worry about a thing; they would handle my mother's affairs here in Phoenix. They even said they would arrange for all my boxes to be sent to New York for me in time for school. I was utterly grateful, there was no way I could see myself packing up my mom's stuff. I had slipped into a slump and didn't know if I'd be able to make it out. Without my mom, I didn't think ballet school was appropriate.

"Bells, are you almost ready to go?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah Dad, just need to freshen up and get a few things to take" I walked into my room to change out of my dress and started gathering my things. One last look around my room and I walked out locking the front door of what seemed to be the end of everything, the end of me.