A/N: I know, I know. It's not an original story, but it was fun to write. I wanted to do something funny cus I usually just write fluffy stuff. *Sigh* Comical stories just aren't my thing :/ The idea came to me when I was listening to Gamer by Krooked K. I love how it sounds so sexual and yet so stupid. And sadly, no. Death Note isn't mine. If it was, Matt would've had way more screen time and he would've lived XP
Come Play With Me
Mello set his keys on the kitchen counter as he walked into the small apartment. He made his way to the fridge in the dark and opened the door. The light from within illuminated his face, revealing his tired expression. He reached to the very back and grabbed a chocolate bar then a jug of milk that had lost its cap. Would it kill Matt to put the lid back on after using it?
Mello closed the door with his hip as he set the items down, searching for a glass. He found a clean one in the cabinet- Matt's Mario mug with a blocky picture of that weird red mushroom head guy. It's kind of hard to look like a badass all-leather-wearing Mafia Boss while you're holding a Mario mug. Mello sighed and decided it would have to do, no matter how stupid he looked holding it. He filled it with the milk and unwrapped his well-earned chocolate.
Just as he was about to take the first bite Mello heard an odd noise coming from past the living room. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and curiosity. He placed the milk on the counter and walked through the living room to the hall, chocolate still in hand. There was a faint blue light glowing from underneath his and Matt's bedroom door. I could've sworn I turned the TV off when I left, Mello thought to himself. He had his hand on the doorknob when he heard voices this time. He let go quickly and pressed one ear to the door to hear better.
"I don't think I'm ready yet. I've never done this before."
Wait, that's Near's voice. What the Hell is he doing in my room?
"Don't worry, it's fun when you've got as much practice as me."
That's Matt. Why are they in my room, together?
"Well alright. However, I must ask that you demonstrate first."
Mello heard some shuffling and he leaned in even more.
"Okay, first you gotta position yourself just right, like this, then lower yourself down and in."
"Ahh, then what?"
"After that, move it around. Just play with it until you find the best spot. Here, you try."
He wanted to open the door but Mello was frozen in place. All he could do was listen in horror.
"Like this?" he heard Near say, sounding like he was deep in concentration.
"Yeah! Now keep going!"
A few seconds of silence went by then Mello heard Near let out a long "Mmm."
"To the left! THE LEFT!" Matt shouted.
"I'm trying! I'm trying!" Near whined
"Try harder. You have to be faster!"
Near groaned and Mello's eyes were growing wider and wider every moment.
"Here let me do it!" Matt said, sounding exasperated now.
"Ow, Matt, don't be so rough."
Mello couldn't take it anymore. He jerked the knob and yanked the door open. He was furious now. Not only was Matt cheating on him, he was doing it in their room, with NEAR!
"What the Hell are you do-" Mello stammered. He looked down and saw Matt and Near sitting on the floor in front of the TV. Next to them was a Nintendo NES showing Tetris on the screen. Matt sat cross-legged holding the controller. Next to him, Near had one arm hugging his knees to his chest and the other twirling a finger in his white hair. Mello was so shocked he couldn't say anything. He just stood there staring at them with his mouth open.
"Near wanted me to teach him how to play." Matt said, holding up the controller. Mello looked back and forth between the two puzzled faces. He brain returned to him and he regained his voice.
"Get out of my room!" he shouted at Near. "NOW!" The white-haired boy hopped up and smirked as he left the room. When Mello heard the front door click he turned back to Matt. He took a step forward then crouched down so they were on eye level. Mello took Matt's chin in his hand and titled his face up towards him.
"Don't ever make me worry like that again."
"What are you talking ab-"Matt began, but his sentence was cut off by Mello's lips pressed against his. He took off the boy's goggles and went back to kissing him; more forcefully this time, claiming what was rightfully his.