A/N: Okay this is the first story to be written on my brand spanky new phone and OMG I'm in love! This was spawned from the randomness that is my brain after working several night shifts in a row and having far FAR too much caffeine and watching IM1 like five nights in a row. This is the first of many, be afraid... be very afraid!

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Can you please stop reminding me of that fact *Sobs*

Warnings: Some foul language, excessive amount of Tony logic, just pure stupid crack.

Lab Talk

Experiment 1.1: The Anti-WHAT!?

It was a quiet afternoon in the Avengers Tower meaning that so far nothing had blown up and their hadn't been any bad guys trying (trying being the operative word there) to blow them up. So as was per usual in times of peace Tony and Bruce were doing sciencey things in the workshop/ makeshift theoretical physics lab.

All in all nothing out of the ordinary.

That is until the billionaire turns to his friend, who is engrossed in some ridiculously convoluted experiment that even he can't quite wrap his head around and says the magic words, words that have spelt many a doom for quiet afternoon's.

"Y'know Bruce I've been thinking."

Beside him Bruce tries and fails miserably at not freezing slightly before ignoring the fact that the other man had even spoken, instead deciding to focus on... What was he doing again? Shit, he'd forgotten.

Tony, very much under the impression that ignorance was not as blissful as people made out pushed onwards; prodding his friend in the side.

Repeatedly.

"Don't you want to know what I've been thinking Brucey?" The billionaire's voice was practically a whine.

Accepting that he wasn't going to get any work done (or failing that some bloody peace and quiet) if he didn't comply the physicist turned to Tony with an unimpressed look on his face.

"Fine, what is this all consuming thought that you just had to express?"

Tony grinned "Well I just realised something."

Deciding to just play along Bruce merely nodded, some how knowing he was going to regret this but asking anyway.

"What did you realise?"

The grin on the billionaire's face grew wider causing a grim sense of dread to settle deep in Bruce's gut.

"Well... You're the Anti-Douche."

"The... The what!?" The physicist stuttered, fairly convinced his eyes were bugging out from behind his glasses.

Tony just continued to grin and plowed on with his explanation not at all fazed by the gaping scientist sat beside him.

"The Anti-Douche... Well most people think I'm a douche and you're kinda like my opposite so that would make you the Anti-Douche, which I figure is sort of like the Anti-Christ but with far more Zen and way less buggery."

Bruce honestly didn't know how to respond to that; seriously how could you respond to being called the Omen's chilled out brother or whatever, he didn't care. What he did care about was the migraine threatening to erupt from behind his eyes just by even trying to fathom out Tony's logic (which in a very fucked up way kind of made sense and boy was he screwed if Tony was suddenly making logical sense). So he did the only thing he could think of.

"Tony..."

"Yeah big guy." The billionaire still sounded extremely smug with himself.

"Shut up."

Tony didn't reply but just sat there tinkering with the gauntlet from the latest suit, an amused smirk dancing across his lips that Bruce could feel irritating him even though he couldn't see it. He knew Stark had done this on purpose just to try and push his buttons.

The bloody bastard, he may have won this round but he was a long way off winning the war.

Bruce would make sure of that.

~Todays Experiment... Sort of a success~

A/N: So yeeeeah this was fun, been a while since I wrote crack. Am certainly LOOKING FOR PROMPTS FOR THIS! Got an idea just drop us a line!

Oh... And reviews are always loved!