Thankstealing Day Parody

By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Based on "Big Blimp In Little Trouble" from Uncle Scrooge # 397

Apparently Launchpad isn't going to be in US # 400.

How's about giving "Ducktales" it's own comic?

Especially since "Rescue Rangers" already has one. Which is OK by me- just don't expect me to buy it.

I'll see what exactly "Uncle Scrooge in Ducktales "Life is like a hurricane" IS, (It's NOT the stuff before Ducktales, Launchpad's in it. Reprints of Gladstone's Ducktales? Stuff I ain't seen before?)

Two questions about Double Indemnity in US# 396 if I may: why did Magica call her raven/brother Poe "Ratface"? Is that a "term of endearment" of the type sisters and brothers so often use to each other?

Two: WHY would Launchpad/Pigeon attack MR. MCDUCK and NOT Magica TRYING TO STEAL MR. MCDUCK'S NUMBER ONE DIME? No way, Jose.

I can see Launchpad TRYING to steal the Dime from her. I can see Launchpad nearly getting a hernia TRYING to lift the glass case while trapped in a pigeon's body... Launchpad/pigeon managing SOMEHOW to pick it up ANYWAY, carrying it so it crashes against his own plane.

()()Mr. McDee is obsessed enough to find that Dime among the sand of the desert...but is MAGICA? Will trying keep her busy until the spell wears OFF?()()

Only the glass case bonks off the plane undamaged because Mr. McDuck sprung for shatterproof glass to protect the Dime.

"Launchpad, I recently received an anonymous tip saying that the Beagles are going to try to rob my department store- the one that hosts Duckburg's annual Thanksgiving Day Parade while the parade is going on." Mr McDuck began.

" Since the store is empty that day and there is a great deal of noise and confusion and crowds in the area, it would be a good time to rob the store of merchandise. Even if there is no money in the store on that day." Mr. McDuck continued.

"I want you to fly in your blimplane in the parade. People will think it's just another balloon. Keep an eye open for trouble and report any suspicious activity you see. Both the cops and Gizmoduck will be patrolling the area. But since the parade goes on for miles, they can't be everywhere." Mr. McDuck finished.

So, when Thanksgiving Day came, Launchpad got into his combination blimp and plane and flew it as if it was an ordinary parade balloon.

MEANWHILE, the Beagles are preparing to rob the store from BELOW. They go from the subway to the underground entrance to the store, which is closed for the holiday. They TRY to break in. They then break into the sewers and make it to the department store via the sewers.

"OK, brothers! Let's help ourselves to whatever we want! And don't forget a nice present for Ma!" Big Time said.

"Duh..how we going to get the stuff OUT of here? We can't take it thru the sewers without it getting all dirty and smelly!" Burger asked.

"We is going to take it by airmail! We is "borrowing" the parade balloons and floating our way out of here!" Big Time replied.

Since the Beagles broke in from underground, neither Launchpad, Gizmoduck nor Duckblur (who WOULD horn in on the fun) saw anything.

The Beagles had jolly fun robbing the store blind. Some stuff, like the jewelry and the furs was locked up and maybe that stopped them, but only because there was so much else to steal. Breaking in would take too much time.

'We has got plenty of swag! But how do we get to the balloons with all the people in the street? There are a lot of cops out there. Including undercover cops." Bicep asked.

"We is going to the third floor. There is a balcony facing the parade route there. See this long pole with a hook on it? It's got to be 12 feet long." Big Time began.

"What's it for? Stuff you wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole?" Bicep joked.

"It's for getting down toy balloons that get stuck on the ceiling! But I'll use it to hook one of the big balloons as it goes by. Then each one of us and his swag ride it until we're way out of sight. Then we let a little air out of the balloon so we can come down safely, steal a car and make a perfect getaway!" Big Time planned.

So, Big Time tried his plan. They had a hard time getting the long pole up to the third floor without breaking it. But they managed.

Then, they hooked a parade balloon...or so they thought. Being on the third floor, the "balloon" was on eye level with them and they couldn't see below it. It wasn't a balloon, it was a floatoon...a balloon permanently attached to a float.

When Bicep climb on board it with his swag, planning to cut it's ropes...there were none. It was glued or something to a float. If Bicep tried to cut it free, he'd just break the silly thing.

Now, somebody with a whole bunch of stuff riding one of the floatoons drew attention. Bicep knew the cops would come to find out what he was doing up there. Being unable to snag another balloon without falling, he instead jumped into a car carrying one of the parade's grand marshals.

Bicep landed softly in the padded seat, right next to the driver. Bicep pushed the driver out of the car, pushed grand Marshall out of the car, put his swag in the back seat and drove off like a maniac, right thru Duckburg park.

Duckblur TRIED to catch him, but Bicep was driving recklessly and he scared a lot of park visitors out of their wits. Including one horse drawing a carriage. Bicep drove right past the carriage VERY fast, terrifying the poor horse. Horse ran, dragging the carriage and his passengers behide him.

The horse ran right into the busiest street in downtown Duckburg, which is no place for a horse and carriage. Duckblur had to forget about chasing Bicep and had to catch up with the horse, calm the poor thing down and get it to stop before he and his passengers could be hurt.

By then, Bicep was no place in sight.

"Where did he go?" Duckblur asked nobody in particular.

And was quite surprised to get an answer. Her cell phone rang. (1) She answered it.

"Duckblur? This is Launchpad. Listen, Bicep is in front of a concession stand, right near a truck belonging to the parks department...ut-oh! He just drove off in it! I can't land there without breaking this thing, too many trees!" Launchpad warned her.

Duckblur looked and saw a park department truck taking off from a nearby concession stand too fast for safety in a busy park. She quickly chased him.

MEANWHILE, the other Beagles had hooked parade balloons, climbed on board with their slag and cut the ropes. Launchpad, seeing these going-on, landed next to a nearby rooftop that had plenty of snow from a snowstorm that visited Duckburg yesterday.

Launchpad took some rubber (meant to patch up the blimplane in case of mishap)and stretched it between two old obsolete TV antennas. Launchpad was soon launching giant snowballs at the Beagles. When he ran out of snow, he grabbed the giant "rubber band" and went back into the blimplane and floated to another snow covered roof for more "ammo".

The giant snowballs hit the balloons, jarring it and the Beagles and their swag. The Beagles held on tight. The swag, despite being tied on tight, managed to escape and fall to the ground. You know how perverse the inanimate can be, don't you?

Gizmoduck caught the falling stolen objects before they could hurt anybody or be stolen again. A surprising number of honest people gave him small items that had fallen and escaped his notice, including some very expensive items, "smart" phones, ipods, that sort of thing. (2)

Duckblur was still chasing Bicep. What was taking her so long? Bicep had driven into a "flock" of other park trucks, there to deliver stuff for a fancy Thanksgiving party Big Wigs were having at a restaurant in the park after the parade. All the trucks looked exactly alike.

And some were heading for the restaurant, some were heading for a nearby skating rink, some for the carousel, some for the parking lots...in other words, in different directions. Poor Duckblur had to check ALL the trucks until she found the right one.

Bicep wanted to run but knew the minute he did, Duckblur would spot him, especially if he took the loot. Then, an ordinary cop ordered him to stop. Bicep was so busy trying to figure out how to get away from Duckblur he'd accidentally driven onto a BIKE lane...

Duckblur saw this, came to check it out. There was nothing for Bicep to do but come out with his hands up and not give them any trouble.

Giz, seeing Launchpad's success with giant snowballs was doing likewise. Seeing snow piled up on the sides of the street (the street was cleared for the parade, natch)he gathered snow and loaded it into his cannon and fired it. He didn't dare use regular ammo in this crowd. This way, if he missed, somebody got wet, not dead.

Duckblur was frustrated. She was down on the ground, the action was up in the air and DUCKBLUR CAN'T FLY. Gizmoduck saw this and said:

"Would you like to use my cannon? It detaches. I can fly up there with my new jet pack...Wait a minute! I still have my old beanie copter(3)built into my helmet! And the fact that it flys too slow won't bother YOU! With your powers, you can make it go as fast as you like!" Giz said.

"Want to borrow my helmet?" Giz asked.

"Sure." Duckblur said, touched by his thoughtfulness.

Once Giz had detached the goggles and shown Duckblur how to use his helmet copter, Duckblur took off with it.

"Thanks!" she said.

Giz turned on his jet pack and joined her.

Once in the air, Giz and Duckblur could chase the Beagles trying to escape via parade balloons. And the Beagles couldn't even fight them...not without risking losing their balance on the balloons. And unless they are pilots (WWI Aces or not), Beagles can't fly. The Beagles tried to escape...only to steer their balloons right into a net (4) Launchpad had strung up between two buildings.

Big Time, always the "clever" one, managed to elude this trap...only his balloon got stuck in a large Christmas tree. To complete the humiliation of the situation, Big Time saw, for the first time, he had "borrowed" a cat balloon. A CAT stuck in a TREE. The cops soon got him down and he rejoined his brothers...back in Duckburg Prison, where they had escaped from.

Giz got himself a new helmet and gave Duckblur the old one.

The End.

(1) Of course Duckblur has a cell phone. Doesn't everybody? Launchpad called her public emergency number that everybody in Duckburg knows.

(2) Which is why the Beagles didn't bother trying to steal jewelry or furs, they were too busy grabbing electronic hoo-haws that are smaller, lighter and easier to sell.

(3) All deprived children too young to know from Bob Clampett should check out "Beanie and Cecil cartoons" on youtube.

(4) It was a safety net that had been used to protect workmen that had been putting up Christmas decreations on tall buildings, but was no longer in use. Launchpad borrowed it.