Just a story that I wrote for my friend Lainee for her birthday. I don't own NCIS...
She didn't know if she could let him love her. Every time that she let someone love her, that person ended up getting hurt.
She loved Ari because he was family. They grew up together. All those memories that they shared ended when she killed him. Ziva still felt terrible for killing him. She had to gain Gibbs's trust though; she had to kill Ari because Ari killed Kate. Now that Ziva had the time to look back on it, though, she wished that there had been a way that she could have gained Gibbs's trust without having to kill her brother. Her brother loved her, but yet she killed him.
Then there was Michael. After all those years in America, Michael had come to the U.S. and suddenly, Ziva wasn't alone anymore. She had someone there with her, to comfort her on those nights that she missed home. Michael was there to comfort Ziva when she had a bad day at work. Ziva was starting to fall in love with him when he was killed.
Her heart broke into pieces when Ziva found Michael on the floor of her apartment, bleeding to death. What killed her even more is that her partner, Tony, was on top of him, the murderer. Ziva hated Tony for that. How could he come into her apartment and kill the man that she was growing to love? It did not make any sense.
Yes, Tony had his gut feelings about Michael, but that did not give him the right to go and murder the man. When Ziva confronted Tony about the murder, Tony had told her about his gut feeling and how he wanted to protect her if something had gone wrong.
It was so hard for Ziva to forgive him after that. She didn't know what to think of Tony. He had completely ruined her trust, but yet she still adored him. Over the past five years she had grown to love Tony probably more than she would ever love Michael if she had been given the chance.
At the same time though, Ziva did not want Tony to love her. In her past experiences with Ari and Michael, the people that she loved ended up dying because of her. She couldn't risk losing Tony. She even told him that flat out, telling him almost all of her feelings.
He had left her alone after that. While they did not speak, there was a part of Ziva that felt numb. She almost regretted pushing Tony away. After everything that they had been through, he had proven that he was always going to be there for her, yet she pushed him away like he was nothing.
DiNozzo really was the one that Ziva was looking for though. Every day Ziva wanted to take back the things that she said and just melt in his embrace. She missed him. She wanted him back. Ziva promised herself that she would get him back no matter what, and make up for everything that she said to him.
She did not corner him in the men's bathroom. She did not corner him when they were alone in the bullpen. No. Ziva followed Tony back to his apartment one night. She just had to get everything back to normal because she adored him, loved him, too much to let him slip away.
Ziva kept her distance until he was inside his apartment before she slowly opened the door and crept inside, silently shutting the door behind her. Luckily, Tony did not notice that she had let herself in, and Ziva walked into his living room and sat down on the couch.
A few minutes after sitting down, Tony walked out of the bedroom and jumped when he saw Ziva sitting there. "Ziva, what are you doing here?" he asked, looking at her with a worried expression on her face.
She stood up and walked over to him without saying a word. Ziva studied Tony, eying him up and down. He was only in a t-shirt and boxers, and Ziva laughed to herself. Tony was a typical guy who would change the moment he got home from work. Finally, Ziva stopped in front of Tony and looked up at him, her eyes searching his own.
"Tony, I am sorry. I am sorry that I pushed you away. I just...I cannot stand being close to you. I adore you too much to lose you. I regret pushing you away. Please, I adore and you love way too much to lose you. Please forgive me?"
Tony looked at Ziva, confused, and he placed a hand on her cheek. "Ziva, I know you are trying to protect me. But please, don't do that. If anyone is going to protect anyone here, it's going to be me and I am going to protect you. You got that?" he softly asked, smiling ever so slightly.
Ziva nodded and smiled back. "So you forgive me?" she whispered, still looking into his eyes.
"Of course I forgive you, Ziva. I adore you too. I love you too," Tony murmured before bending his head down and kissing her lips.
Ziva kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck. She adored and loved Tony and now she was finally going to show him how much she adored and loved him.