She just didn't understand it.
She was Tawni Hart.
She didn't deserve this—this blasphemy.
Suddenly, Tween Weekly didn't show her beautiful and impeccably flawless face. It was supposed to be all about her, her, her. There was nothing wrong with Tawni—nothing at all! So why did she suddenly feel as if she'd been tossed aside, like yesterday's news?
It was all her fault. That little witch that came here from "cozy, homey Wisconsin" (please note the sarcasm) to absolutely destroy—annihilate, even!—Tawni Hart's life.
She was the new girl. She never made a mistake—Diva? Impossible!—and was nice to everyone. She was suddenly the new favorite. No one cared about Tawni Hart anymore.
And then… She met him.
Tawni absolutely hated it. Their little fights—if someone could even call them that—only helped to prove that they liked each other. That he liked her.
That he did not like Tawni Hart.
Was she too fat, she wondered? No… Impossible! What was that treacherous little thought doing in her beautiful head? She was absolutely amazing! She watched her weight and never ate too much. She was just what the Doctor ordered. She was perfect!
Tawni, of course, didn't like him. No, that was simply preposterous. She just couldn't understand how he could like her and not love Tawni Hart. She was beautiful, talented, intelligent! Maybe a bit of an airhead sometimes, maybe a bit conceited, but she knew what she wanted and how to get it. It just completely baffled her as to how he wasn't head-over-heels in love with her.
Chad Dylan Cooper.
She wasn't allowed to use the words she wanted to describe him. They weren't pretty enough.
Even since she came along, CDC had been acting like a lovesick puppy. He never fought with Tawni anymore. It was always the new girl.
Sonny Munroe.
So what if Sonny had big, brown eyes and a beautiful smile? Tawni's eyes were the color of emerald—in fact, emerald envied Tawni Hart. And her smile—oh, gosh, don't get her started! Tawni Hart's smile was what made boys go crazy over her!
So why didn't he?
They had a fling when they were younger. The Goody Gang—their old show—was a hit! It was amazing! It was an extremely popular show that everyone loved. He had a history with her, Tawni Hart…
He had no history with Allison Munroe!
Stupid Chad Dylan Cooper… Stupid Sonny Munroe…
Sonny Munroe—she was just that: always so bright and sunny, his little Sonshine—was the perfect angel. Everyone loved her before they even met her! So Random! didn't need another cast mate. Once Mandy left—and even before she left; who was she kidding?—Tawni was the star of the show. Not this… This wannabe! She was an even better actress than Tawni—No! She can't think like that! Tawni Hart was the Greatest Actress of Our Generation!
Wait. Did she just think that?
She was not as conceited as Chad Dylan Cooper. There was no way. Impossible.
What was wrong with her?
Tawni Hart does not doubt herself. She knows what she wants and knows how to get it.
… Doesn't she?
Maybe she wasn't as amazing an actress as she thought. She was doubting herself—maybe it was a sign? Maybe it was her mind's way of telling her to give up the fight…?
No, she needed to stop these thoughts. Tawni Hart will always be amazing and beautiful and flawless.
Because, even when she was doubting her own pretty, there were still over a million fans out there in the world who all supported her and said that she was the best on So Random!.
(Which, by the way, she wasn't sure was true anymore.)
Tawni Hart wasn't an idiot. She was just in denial; insecure. But she would never admit it aloud to anyone! That was just crazy.
Her best friend was Sonny Munroe.
Her worst enemy was Sonny Munroe.
How does that—that paradox work?
She loved the Children Having A Dream Foundation. Did she mention that? She despised Dakota, but she had to give it to the poor little rich girl. She could act fairly well and had great taste in guys.
But Tawni Hart did not like Chad Dylan Cooper. No way. That would be crazy!
Anyway, Allison "Sonny" Munroe had her delicate little claws dug deeply into Chad Dylan Cooper's chest.
He would never love Tawni Hart.
She would watch them in the halls—she would see them giving the other the eye—let's-meet-up-in-private—and would have to try so hard to not run at Sonny and claw her eyes out—even if it meant messing up her perfect nails. She would see their hands brush when they thought no one was watching, or see them exit the same room at different times, their lips bruised and their shirts wrinkled. She even saw Chad Dylan Cooper—the Chad Dylan Cooper!—with smeared lip gloss on his face, chin, neck… It just kept on going lower…
And then she would see Sonny. She almost always seemed to carry a hairbrush with her now. Chad Dylan Cooper loved to get all mixed up in her beautiful, dark locks—she just knew that he loved it even more when he got to brush the tangles out of her hair that he proudly caused. She would see Sonny covering her neck—with her hair, a turtleneck, a scarf even!—from all the dark red marks he would leave.
It just made her sick.
She would sit there, acting animated as Sonny told Tawni all the glamorous things that Chad would do with or for her.
"Chad is a fool for Sonny."
She hated that billboard… And he refused to take it down. No matter how much she—indirectly, of course—begged him to take it down, he would say no. He wanted Sonny to always, always, always know just how much he loved her.
She would just sit there. She would just sit there and listen to Sonny say how they almost went all the way, and would have if his mother hadn't come home.
(She didn't know she could love Mrs. Cooper so much until Sonny had told her that.)
And, after every single arrow at her heart, Tawni would wonder.
Why couldn't she be Sonny Munroe?
" … She feels threatened by Sonny, so I think it's a bit of insecurity more so than she is just being that 'hateful' person."
Maybe… That was right.
Maybe Tawni Hart was jealous of Sonny Munroe.
Maybe she felt insecure next to her.
Was she smart enough? Was she amazing enough? Was she talented enough?
Was she pretty enough?
Tawni Hart officially hated Sonny Munroe. Because, even when the day was done and Tawni would go home and lie on her big, fluffy, Tempur-Pedic mattress and comforter staring at her ceiling, she would wonder why she was trying so hard to only get broken-hearted.
Even when the day was done, Allison Munroe would still have Chad Dylan Cooper.
Even when the day was done, Allison Munroe would still be number one.
Even when the day was done, Allison Munroe would still have her feelings for Chad Dylan Cooper returned.
Because Tawni Hart loved Chad Dylan Cooper, and he didn't love her back—he loved her 'best friend.'
And so, Tawni Hart—with her flawless skin, dazzling smile, and perfect body—fell to the floor and cried.
Saudade: a feeling of nostalgic longing for something or someone that one was fond of and which is lost.
Alright, here's a little Tawni action for you! I read a story by lightsthecity about Tawni that had a similar feel to this story and it really inspired me. It's called So Much for Wonderland. Go read it's amazingness!
Sorry if this story was a bit... Ick. I wrote it at like 6AM after having no sleep all night, so it hasn't been edited. At all. Please tell me what you think of it in a review!
The line about Tawni being insecure was taken from an interview by Tiffany Thornton. So yeah, credit to her amazing self!
Thank you very much... FALLING FOR THE FALLS IS AWESOME! (;