late one evening on a thursday night goenji shuuya walked into kidous dining room with no trousers on
"kidou, " he said , striking a pose . " we have to go on a traveling adventure . to shit city " . he said this and then took a glass of water off the dining room table and poured it over his head dramatically .
kidou was playing monopoly with himself . he looked up from his game . " gouenji i do not want to go on a traveling adventure to shit city , " he said darkly " who knows what will happen if i leave this house to genda and sakuma . they might leave the fridge door open "
" i understand , " said gouenji . he climbed up on the table . " but we have to go . its a matter of national soccer security . "
this got kidous attention . " a matter of national soccer security ! what sort of thing has happened on this day that is the sort of thing that would be such a terribly important thing ! " he was so shocked that he accidentally stole 300 thousand dollars from the bank .
gouenji started taking off his socks and a single tear rolled down his face . after 6 minutes of silence he spoke . " its the goals ….. theyve been kidnapped . all the goals that have ever been scored . " he dropped his socks on the floor and laid down on top of kidous game board .
at this , kidou stood up so fast that his legs got caught in the chair and he fell over with a loud crash . he got back up quickly and pounded his fists on the table . " the goals ! holy macaroni ! who would do such a dastardly and terrible thing ! " he screamed . upstairs fudou was so startled that he fell out of the window he was breaking in through
gouenji lifted his face off the table to answer him . " i do not know the answer to that thing that you asked but the thing that i do know is that we have to get them back . " there was no questioning this one fact , for how could there be soccer without goals ?
kidou wanted to throw his monopoly game off the table dramatically as a sign of his resolve , but since gouenji was on top of it he pushed him off the table instead . " ill be ready in 5 minutes , " he said as gouenji landed on the floor with a thud . he dropped his cell phone on gouenjis face . " call hiroto . let him know we need him to drive us there " . hiroto was the only one with a license . kidou was not allowed to get one after the dmv found out about the time he drove an armored bus through a middle school after defeating them in a soccer game , and gouenji never bothered to read the drivers manual .
gouenji picked the phone off his face and tried typed in kidous password, penguinzrule, into it. kidou hadnt closed out what he was looking at so gouenji was looking at a bunch of picutres of penguins in clothes and poses. he closed it out and texted hiroto. "yo man i need you drive me and kidou someplace where dreams come true." hiroto happened to be the fasted texter in japan and it took him like 2 seconds to type back"gouenji bro my man is that u? what is it im having a BBQ rn im BBQing with my son my son i hatched" gouenji remembered the baby shower "I need a ride to shit city its a matter of soccer and death" "ill get my ufo".
gouenji heard lots of thumping and crying and also crashing, he guessed fudou had climbed back up. suddenly kidou ran down the stairs in his really hot red cape and dragging fudou by his ratty hair. "im ready gouenji lets go i just had to take out the trash" gouenji nodded in lots of understanding. they both ran outside kidous glorious cape flowing behind him as they left fudou on the curb for the trash guys to pick up. Hirotos ufo came into site.
"QUICKLY! YOU BOTH NEED TO HURRY" he opened the hatch and they both got in. "thanks hiroto this was very heroic of you" kidou said as tears filled up his goggles. "its fine i was only grilling with my son im sure he can handle it while im gone" they were zooming really fast they needed to get to shit like 15 minutes had passed. "i need to pee really bad hiroto" kidou told him having to pee really badly."SHIT lets pull over"
they stopped at some place that had a burger king attached. kidou ran to go pee while hiroto and gouenji went and ordered like 50 burgers. kidou came out and saw them eating all the burgers without him. "like wtf you guys save some for me" they ate all the burgers at a slow pace so they didnt get cramps. they ate like 40 of them before a bad guy came in. he was bad to the bone.
"GIVE ME ALL YOUR BURGERS RIGHT NOW" he yelled at them. they started handing over the burgers."gouenji kidou you guys have to do something!" hiroto told them standing up and putting a foot up on the table looking towards the ceiling. gouenji stood up with a burger in hand
"kidou lets save burger king" he told kidou shoving the entire burger in his mouth in one go. kidou stood up but tripped over his feet and fell backwards. "yeah lets do it" kidou said from on the floor.
he stood up and followed gouenji. "what are we gonna do he sounds real mean" kidou asked gouenji since it was his fucking idea. "hmm i think if i shoot this soccer ball at that wall and you run and grab the bag we can do it" kidou nodded it sounded fucking stupid and probably wouldnt work but he was tired and wanted to get to shit city already.
"gouenji pulled a soccer ball out of his pocket and kicked it at the wall causing fire and mass destruction to burger king. kidou ran and grabbed the bag out of the bad bad guys hand. he ran back to gouenji and tossed it to him. "LETS BOOK IT" and ran out the door with the bag and hiroto and kidou following behind him. they hopped into hirotos ufo and they zoomed off.