Mimics
"R. Dorothy Wayneright," shouted Roger glaring angrily over his shoulder, "People close their bathroom doors for a reason!"
"The door wasn't completely closed," replied Dorothy slightly confused by Roger's angry reaction. "Is washing one's hands considered to be a private act?"
Roger started to laugh then noticed the solemn face looking questioningly at him. Dorothy had only been part of the household for a few weeks and probably was unfamiliar with human ways.
"No," he answered. "It isn't, but the actions that sometime precede it are."
Dorothy looked thoughtful for a moment. "You mean passing bodily wastes?" she asked. "According to my grandfather that is a normal human function. Was he wrong?"
Roger bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. "No," he answered. "But it is considered something to be done in private." He shifted uncomfortably as Dorothy stared at him as if she was an anthropologist trying to understand the habits of a newly-discovered, alien culture.
"I'm curious Dorothy," he asked, smoothly changing the subject. "What brings you to my bathroom?"
Dorothy showed him the basket of men's toiletries she held. "Norman asked me to put these away," she replied. "However I can come back later if you wish."
"No, go on with your work." Roger moved away from the sink and gestured for her to approach the medicine cabinet.
"You use a lot of cosmetics, Roger." Dorothy observed as she opened the medicine cabinet.
"They're not cosmetics," Roger huffed. The android stopped and turned to look at her employer. "They're called toiletries," he explained in a calmer voice.
Dorothy nodded. "What do you use them for," she asked.
Roger reached into the basket and handed her a can. "This is antiperspirant," he said. "It keeps my underarms from sweating." He handed her a white tube. "I use toothpaste to clean my teeth after I eat, mouthwash keeps me from having bad breath, shampoo cleans my hair and gel keeps it in place."
"What is this for?" Dorothy asked showing Roger a bottle of deodorant soap.
"I use that to wash with and it also keeps me from smelling bad," he answered.
Roger picked up another bottle and gave it to Dorothy. "This is cologne," he said. "People use it in order to smell good."
"And this?" she asked as she put a can of shaving cream and a bottle of after shave into the cabinet.
"I use the shaving cream when I shave my face and the after shave kills germs so my skin stays smooth," he answered.
"Hmm," Dorothy murmured thoughtfully. "Humans hide when they get rid of body wastes. They spend a lot of time washing dirt and oils from their bodies and use a lot of," she paused slightly as if looking for the right word. "toiletries to keep from smelling like humans."
She continued. "Androids don't grow facial hair, we can't develop acne, we don't produce liquid or solid wastes, we never sweat and we don't smell."
Roger looked at her and raised an eyebrow. If he didn't know better he could have sworn that he saw a trace of amusement in the android's eyes.
"You know, Roger," she said addressing him in the same tone of voice he had used during breakfast, "It does you no good to mimic us. No matter how hard you try, you will never be an android."