The Spring Fling Job

Usual disclaimers: Leverage or its characters isn't owned by me, but I can dream, can't I?

Spoilers for The Twelve Step Job, and The Second David Job. To be on the safe side, all of season one.

Chapter 1

"Eliot my man, hold up." Hardison hurried to catch up with his team mate.

Eliot paused in the hallway of the Leverage offices and turned to give the hacker an annoyed look. "Whatever it is, the answer's no."

Hardison feigned a hurt look on his expressive face. "It wounds my manly pride that you would even say no when you haven't even heard what I got to say. I mean, really now, that's low, even for you."

Eliot smirked and shook his head. "You need to work a little more on your persuasion skills. My seventy year-old grandma is more convincing than you. Now, back off, I got work to do."

"That, my brother, is exactly my point. When's the last time you had any fun?" Hardison crossed his arms and got in the hitter's face.

Eliot wasn't amused. "You got a death wish?"

He stabbed his index finger in the younger man's chest. "You got exactly thirty seconds to clear out. If I were you, I'd be haulin' ass right about now." Eliot started ticking off the seconds out loud.

"You don't scare me bro. I know you're just a big softie inside."

"Twenty-five seconds, Hardison. You still got time to make it out alive."

"No, aw hell no, you don't scare me."

"Then you're even dumber than you look. Nineteen seconds."

"Now, Eliot, look here. Why are you acting like this?"

"It's what I do, you know that. Twelve seconds." Eliot crouched into a fighting stance. "Nine… eight…seven. What, you still here?"

Alec took a step back and bowed his head in defeat. "Sorry I bothered you. I just thought that since you and me, since we worked so well together on that Hurley case, that maybe we could hang out. Do something, you know, together."

"What planet are you from? We've never gotten along, Hardison. We're always at each other's throats."

"Why do you think that is?"

"I don't know," sputtered Eliot. "And I don't care."

"Remember when you confronted Sophie after you found out she'd used the team?"

"Yeah, so?"

"And you told her that you were just starting to get used to working together as a team?"

Eliot felt his blood pressure rising. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Did you mean what you said?"

Eliot contemplated the hacker's words for a moment before shaking his head. "That was different. This," he said as he pointed to them both, "is different."

"So what you're saying is that me, Parker, Sophie, and Nate are good enough to work with, but not good enough to spend down time with." Hardison shook his finger in the hitter's face and rolled his eyes.

"We're done here. I'm done here." Eliot took off at a fast clip for his office and slammed the door.

Hardison tapped on the door and opened it slightly. "Whoa, hold up there. Eliot my man, what's going on?"

Closing the door for privacy, Alec watched numbly as Eliot threw on his jacket. "I'm outta here," he said. He left without another word or a backward glance.

Hardison was fast on Eliot's heels and slipped through the elevator doors a split second before they closed. The hitter's face remained deceptively calm as he eyed the younger man, and he remained characteristically quiet.

Hardison stood just to the side of his friend. "Okay, now Eliot, I know the kind of damage you're capable of, but just give me time to explain before you tear my face off."

He pulled a piece of paper from his back pocket and held it up in front of Eliot's face. "Just feast your eyes on this."

Eliot nimbly retrieved the paper and quickly scanned it. "A retirement home for senior citizens? Are you serious? Is this your idea of a joke?"

Eliot turned and punched the elevator's buttons in frustration before he was tempted to do the same to his ex co-worker.

The hacker yanked the paper from Eliot's hand and laughed out loud. He quickly turned it over and observed Eliot Spencer's tense face fade away. A flicker of a smile danced on the hitter's lips and Hardison knew he had him.

"Now isn't that something? Pretty women, warm blue skies during the day, pretty warm bodies at night, and I'm not talking about the water temperature either."

"Keep talking." Eliot fiddled idly with the change in his left pocket, his interest piqued.

"Four words. Spring Fling in Cancun. And in just two days the place will be filled with wall to wall girls on break from college. They'll be looking to spend their off time in dubious pursuit of the male body and…."

"No, no, I can't." Eliot cut him off with a shake of his dark brown head.

"Why the hell not?"

"Two words… college girls. With the emphasis being on the girl part. It feels a little perverted somehow."

"Whoa, now hold up a minute," insisted Alec. "It doesn't have to be like that. I'm sure there'll be plenty of women from the geriatric set for you to choose from. Just because you're in your thirties doesn't mean you're dead yet."

"I'm not dead," mumbled Eliot, "but you'll soon be if you keep this up."

Hardison punched the elevator's buttons and the car stopped its descent. "Since when have you turned down an invite to be with someone of the fairer sex?"

"I've never…."

"So what's different this time? What's so, I don't know, changed, Eliot?"

"Nothing I guess," he growled.

"Then are you up for a little manly pursuit?"

"I don't know... I still got a couple of last minute details to wrap up from our last job." Eliot was starting to waver.

Hardison continued to wear him down. "I'm sure Nate won't begrudge you a little R and R. After all, you've earned it."

"Yeah, maybe." Eliot was still undecided. "There's still that little dust up that I had with the meter maid though."

Hardison was shocked. "You hit a female?"

"What? No, I've never laid a hand on any woman in my life!"

"But…you just said you hit a meter maid. Just because she's in uniform doesn't mean she's not female."

"Damn it, Hardison, the meter maid was a man, get it…a man! With a deep voice and unshaved face. You know, a man!"

"They have men meter maids now?"

"Ain't that what I just said?" Eliot's voice was getting louder and he was seriously looking to hit something…or someone."

"Alright, I get it. You don't have to yell." The hacker got quiet as he thought it over. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "So what happened in your altercation with the male meter maid?"

"Long story or short?"

"Short story."

Eliot smiled as he recalled the incident. "It was the day we were casing the apartment building on Henderson. We were running late because Parker insisted on scoping out the interior stair wells. I'd left my truck parked on the street because there weren't any lots open. I thought I had enough change in the meter, but when I reached the truck I saw a damn parking ticket on my windshield."

Hardison held up his hand to interrupt. "I thought you were gonna give me the short version."

Eliot growled in his face. "Do you wanna hear it or not?"

Hardison sounded contrite. "Please continue. Sorry for the interruption."

"Your sarcasm isn't helpful. Now where was I?

"You got a parking ticket, Eliot."

"Yeah, no, I got cited for contempt along with the parking ticket. If I don't show up for court next week, they could haul my ass to jail."

"That's it, seriously?"

"I'd say that's enough."

"You under estimate my unique abilities. Come on," said Hardison, as he punched in the number for their floor. "Just give me five minutes and I'll make it all go away."