Author: Cerasi J.
Rating: G
Title: Insert Title Here!
Summary: Just a fun fill-in-the-blanks story starring Obi-Wan and Anakin.
Disclamers: I don't own Savage Garden, Bon Jovi or any of the their music. I do not own the song "Break Me, Shake Me." Savage Garden does. All the Star Wars people belong to GL and I only can play with them no more, no less.
Note to reader: I have inserted random inside jokes to friends in this story and will be put in bold with a *.
~*~*~*~*~
Obi-Wan's Day at the___________*
*Beach, space center, park, Death Star, Savage Garden/Bon Jovi concert, hair salon with Darth Maul, Anakin's first day of school.
Since I have to choose the plot I'll take this one, kay?
Obi-Wan's Day with Anakin.
Part One. Anakin's first day of school.
"Master. Why do I have to go all the way back to Kindergarden?" Anakin ________*
*Complained, whined, wimpered, screamed, sobbed.
"Now Anakin, don't _______*, Quiggy, er, Master Qui-Gon would want you to have a good day...even though you already know your address."
*Complain, whine, wimper, scream, sob.
"I do?"
"Do what?"
"Know my address."
Obi-Wan blinked, "Never mind, Ani." He shakes his head, "Blondes."
Anakin _______*, "Okay."
*Shrugged, rolled his eyes, nodded, went for Obi-Wan's throat.
Obi-Wan gave Anakin a hug, and pushed his little apprentice towards the door. "Have a good day. Remember, don't eat anything off the lunch menu that end with 'surprise.'"
"I won't." Anakin walked into the classroom, sat down, and glanced at the little boy next to him. "Hi," Anakin said. "I'm Anakin Skywalker."
"Skarf-muncher?" the little boy echoed. "What kinda name is Skarf-muncher?"
"No! Skywalker! Not Skarf-muncher!"
The teacher came over to Anakin; "Timmy has a hearing problem. Don't mind him."
Anakin ______*
*Shrugged, nodded, rolled his eyes, went for Timmy's throat.
On the other side of Anakin sat a little girl, "I'm Jenna," she said. "You don't look like a kindergardener."
"Savage Bluegrass?!" Timmy yelled. "What's that?!"
Anakin _______*
*Rolled his eyes, looked at Jenna, fainted, slapped Timmy went for Timmy's throat.
Jenna laughed, "No Timmy, not Savage Bluegrass! Kindergarden!"
"Toothbrush?! Who said anything about a toothbrush?!"
Anakin _______*
*Slammed Timmy's head into the table, thew Timmy across the classroom, snapped Timmy's neck, when on a rampage and joined the Dark Side, rolled his eyes, went for Timmy's throat.
"So," Jenna said. "How old are you, Anakin?"
"Mold?! Where?!"
Jenna ______*
*Slammed Timmy into a wall, joined the Dark Side, kissed Anakin, rolled her eyes, drooled over a picture of Fox Mulder.
"I'm 9," Anakin anwsered.
The teacher cleared her throat, "Class we have a new student. His name is Anakin Skywalker, he is from Tatooine, and he's 9-years-old. Welcome Anakin!"
Anakin smiled.
"Why don't you stand up and tell us a little about yourself, Anakin?"
He stood. "My full name is Anakin Vader Skywalker, I'm from Mos Espa Tatooine. In my spair
time I enjoy podracing, reading up on Dark Lords of the Sith, and plotting ways to take over the Hershey Chocolate Factory. In my other time I train as a Jedi Apprentice.
I'm apprenticed to Obi-Wan Kenobi. He's really nice he dropped me off here this morning after breakfast. For breakfast I had-..."
"Anakin, the class doesn't need to know what you had for breakfast, okay?"
"Snake!" Timmy yelled, "I hate snakes!"
The teacher ________*
*Slapped Timmy, joined the Dark Side, sat down, went for Timmy's throat.
Anakin sat down. Jenna whispered to him-...
"Hiss?! I knew it!! I heard a snake!!"
The Author _________*
*Killed Timmy, went for Timmy's throat, snapped Timmy's neck, thew Timmy out of the fic, put on a Scream mask and said: "Hello Timmy. Do you like scarey movies?"
Hired Chewbacca to eat Timmy, Hired Zekk and his band of bad Jedi Knights to kill Timmy in a mean, horrible way, etc, etc.
The teacher sighed, "That wasn't a snake Timmy, that was just the author."
"Other? Other what?!"
Anakin looked at Timmy, "What do you mean 'other.' She said 'author.' "
"Other! Someone please tell me what is going on!"
The teacher counted to 10, and almost bit her lip off trying not to yell at the little boy.
"No one said anything about 'others,' Timmy. I said 'author.' "
"Oh."
The rest of the day went smoothly. Lunchtime came. Anakin walked into the lunchroom and looked at the menu.
Menu
Gungan Surprise
Jedi Surprise
Tuna Surprise
Dumpster Surprise
Dog-House Surprise
Timmy Surprise
Gaven Surprise*
Jaina Surprise*
Cerasi Surprise*
Birthday Surprise
Christmas Surprise
Hamburger
Cheeseburger
Jar Jar Burger
"Savage" Garden Burger*
Timmy Burger
Tofu
*Hehe, sorry guys! Had to do it! Luv ya! -Cerasi ;)
Anakin looked helplessly at the menu; this was not the best of days! He went up to the counter.
"Uh, hi. I'll have the cheeseburger."
"Sorry Kid, no more cheeseburgers. The only thing I have left is this box of dozen, sarving crazed gungans."
Anakin's eyes widened, "No way! I heard that song! I'm not gonna let those gungans get on my face and eat my flesh!"
"Yeah, but if you do you might meet the girl of your dreams."
"I already met the girl of my dreams, her name is Amidala, but she goes by Padme. She's beautiful."
The fat lunch-lady rolled her eyes, "Look kid, do you want the gungans, or not?"
"No I don't want the gungans! I want a cheeseburger! Now!"
"Listen kid I don't take orders from you-..."
Anakin jumped over the counter, grabbed her shirt and said: "You listen to me! I've had a really bad morning! I had to sit next to Timmy all morning! Now get me the burger or I'll use the Dark Side on you, and I'll whip you like an Atlanta Falcon! Only I'm a Denver Bronco!"
[ELWAY IS GOD!!! ;)]*
The lunch-lady paled. "Linda!" She called behind her shoulder, "Get this kid a cheeseburger!"
Anakin jumped down. "That's better."
Suddenly a vision of Qui-Gon Jinn appeared before Anakin's eyes. "Anakin, you will go to the Dagobath System. Oops! Sorry! Wrong movie!"
Qui-Gon ________*
*Faited away, melted, went for Timmy's throat.
Timmy walked into the lunchroom, "Hi Anakin! Wanna sit by me?"
"I'd rather die."
"Pie! You have pie?! What kind? Apple, peach? Pumpkin?"
"I don't have any pie."
"You want to die? Why?"
"No Pie!" Anakin said though clenched teeth.
"Shy? You don't seem shy, Anakin!"
"I'm not shy!"
"What kinda pie?"
"Timmy pie..."
"Hmmm, sounds great! Can I have some?"
Anakin was just about to slice Timmy into bits with his training lightsaber when the lunch-lady called his name. "Hey Dark-Side boy! Your burgers up!"
Anakin scowled, he hated kindergarden.
After lunch everyone went outside to play shock-ball. Poor Anakin! Timmy got stuck on his team! A 5th grader named Kelly threw the ball to Anakin, "Pass it kid! Don't let the ball shock you!"
Anakin glanced around and saw Timmy. He ran over to him, "Here Timmy take this!" he shoved the ball at Timmy.
Timmy smiled, "Wow! Cool! Thank you, Anakin! I've never played with a ball before! You're a real pal!"
The Ball ______*
*Shocked Timmy, blew up in Timmy's face, decided NOT to shock Timmy and went to sleep instead, went for Timmy's throat.
The bell rang. Anakin lined up to go back inside. Timmy stood behind him. Timmy yanked on his Padawan braid and ______*
*Pulled the braid out of Anakin's head and ate it, Starting singing "The Wheels on The Bus" but changed the words to "The Firestone Tires on the bus go boom, boom, boom...," Started singing "Break Me, Shake Me." By Savage Garden, went for Anakin's throat.
"OW!" Anakin yelled, "That hurt!"
"Cow?! I hate cows!!"
"Not cows, stupid! OW!"
"I think Anakin's a girl! He has a braid!!"
Kelly smacked Timmy upside the head, "Retard! He's a Jedi Knight, he's supposed to have a braid! It shows he's an Apprentice! Hoser!"
Timmy _______*
*Started sobbing, pulled Kelly's hair, finshed singing "Break Me, Shake Me," went for Kelly's throat.
Anakin finally so sick of Timmy pulled out his lightsaber and hacked Timmy into fish food.
Jenna gasped, "Oh my God! You killed Timmy!"
The teacher looked at what was left of Timmy and said, "We're going to need another Timmy!"
The End.
Cue "Break Me, Shake Me" as ending credit music
(Hey! It's better than "Wheels on the bus!")
Credits:
Anakin Skywalker: Jake Lloyd
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Ewan McGregor
Kelly: Cerasi Kenobi
Jenna: Yoda Newkirk
Timmy: (Insert politician of your choice here!)
Teacher: Jaina Solo
Camera Men: Gaven Antilles and Cody "Qui-Gon" Williams*
Author: ME!!
Music By: Savage Garden
Catering By: R U Hungry? Inc.
Clothes: The Crater (Formaly know as The Gap.)
Lightsabers By: Some guy who I can't remember!! Oh yeah! George Lucas!
The coffin for Timmy was made by: The Road Kill Café, Inc
Thank You, Ladies, Gentlemen and Jedi for reading this stupid little story!
If you made it this far, we're proud of you! :)
Rating: G
Title: Insert Title Here!
Summary: Just a fun fill-in-the-blanks story starring Obi-Wan and Anakin.
Disclamers: I don't own Savage Garden, Bon Jovi or any of the their music. I do not own the song "Break Me, Shake Me." Savage Garden does. All the Star Wars people belong to GL and I only can play with them no more, no less.
Note to reader: I have inserted random inside jokes to friends in this story and will be put in bold with a *.
~*~*~*~*~
Obi-Wan's Day at the___________*
*Beach, space center, park, Death Star, Savage Garden/Bon Jovi concert, hair salon with Darth Maul, Anakin's first day of school.
Since I have to choose the plot I'll take this one, kay?
Obi-Wan's Day with Anakin.
Part One. Anakin's first day of school.
"Master. Why do I have to go all the way back to Kindergarden?" Anakin ________*
*Complained, whined, wimpered, screamed, sobbed.
"Now Anakin, don't _______*, Quiggy, er, Master Qui-Gon would want you to have a good day...even though you already know your address."
*Complain, whine, wimper, scream, sob.
"I do?"
"Do what?"
"Know my address."
Obi-Wan blinked, "Never mind, Ani." He shakes his head, "Blondes."
Anakin _______*, "Okay."
*Shrugged, rolled his eyes, nodded, went for Obi-Wan's throat.
Obi-Wan gave Anakin a hug, and pushed his little apprentice towards the door. "Have a good day. Remember, don't eat anything off the lunch menu that end with 'surprise.'"
"I won't." Anakin walked into the classroom, sat down, and glanced at the little boy next to him. "Hi," Anakin said. "I'm Anakin Skywalker."
"Skarf-muncher?" the little boy echoed. "What kinda name is Skarf-muncher?"
"No! Skywalker! Not Skarf-muncher!"
The teacher came over to Anakin; "Timmy has a hearing problem. Don't mind him."
Anakin ______*
*Shrugged, nodded, rolled his eyes, went for Timmy's throat.
On the other side of Anakin sat a little girl, "I'm Jenna," she said. "You don't look like a kindergardener."
"Savage Bluegrass?!" Timmy yelled. "What's that?!"
Anakin _______*
*Rolled his eyes, looked at Jenna, fainted, slapped Timmy went for Timmy's throat.
Jenna laughed, "No Timmy, not Savage Bluegrass! Kindergarden!"
"Toothbrush?! Who said anything about a toothbrush?!"
Anakin _______*
*Slammed Timmy's head into the table, thew Timmy across the classroom, snapped Timmy's neck, when on a rampage and joined the Dark Side, rolled his eyes, went for Timmy's throat.
"So," Jenna said. "How old are you, Anakin?"
"Mold?! Where?!"
Jenna ______*
*Slammed Timmy into a wall, joined the Dark Side, kissed Anakin, rolled her eyes, drooled over a picture of Fox Mulder.
"I'm 9," Anakin anwsered.
The teacher cleared her throat, "Class we have a new student. His name is Anakin Skywalker, he is from Tatooine, and he's 9-years-old. Welcome Anakin!"
Anakin smiled.
"Why don't you stand up and tell us a little about yourself, Anakin?"
He stood. "My full name is Anakin Vader Skywalker, I'm from Mos Espa Tatooine. In my spair
time I enjoy podracing, reading up on Dark Lords of the Sith, and plotting ways to take over the Hershey Chocolate Factory. In my other time I train as a Jedi Apprentice.
I'm apprenticed to Obi-Wan Kenobi. He's really nice he dropped me off here this morning after breakfast. For breakfast I had-..."
"Anakin, the class doesn't need to know what you had for breakfast, okay?"
"Snake!" Timmy yelled, "I hate snakes!"
The teacher ________*
*Slapped Timmy, joined the Dark Side, sat down, went for Timmy's throat.
Anakin sat down. Jenna whispered to him-...
"Hiss?! I knew it!! I heard a snake!!"
The Author _________*
*Killed Timmy, went for Timmy's throat, snapped Timmy's neck, thew Timmy out of the fic, put on a Scream mask and said: "Hello Timmy. Do you like scarey movies?"
Hired Chewbacca to eat Timmy, Hired Zekk and his band of bad Jedi Knights to kill Timmy in a mean, horrible way, etc, etc.
The teacher sighed, "That wasn't a snake Timmy, that was just the author."
"Other? Other what?!"
Anakin looked at Timmy, "What do you mean 'other.' She said 'author.' "
"Other! Someone please tell me what is going on!"
The teacher counted to 10, and almost bit her lip off trying not to yell at the little boy.
"No one said anything about 'others,' Timmy. I said 'author.' "
"Oh."
The rest of the day went smoothly. Lunchtime came. Anakin walked into the lunchroom and looked at the menu.
Menu
Gungan Surprise
Jedi Surprise
Tuna Surprise
Dumpster Surprise
Dog-House Surprise
Timmy Surprise
Gaven Surprise*
Jaina Surprise*
Cerasi Surprise*
Birthday Surprise
Christmas Surprise
Hamburger
Cheeseburger
Jar Jar Burger
"Savage" Garden Burger*
Timmy Burger
Tofu
*Hehe, sorry guys! Had to do it! Luv ya! -Cerasi ;)
Anakin looked helplessly at the menu; this was not the best of days! He went up to the counter.
"Uh, hi. I'll have the cheeseburger."
"Sorry Kid, no more cheeseburgers. The only thing I have left is this box of dozen, sarving crazed gungans."
Anakin's eyes widened, "No way! I heard that song! I'm not gonna let those gungans get on my face and eat my flesh!"
"Yeah, but if you do you might meet the girl of your dreams."
"I already met the girl of my dreams, her name is Amidala, but she goes by Padme. She's beautiful."
The fat lunch-lady rolled her eyes, "Look kid, do you want the gungans, or not?"
"No I don't want the gungans! I want a cheeseburger! Now!"
"Listen kid I don't take orders from you-..."
Anakin jumped over the counter, grabbed her shirt and said: "You listen to me! I've had a really bad morning! I had to sit next to Timmy all morning! Now get me the burger or I'll use the Dark Side on you, and I'll whip you like an Atlanta Falcon! Only I'm a Denver Bronco!"
[ELWAY IS GOD!!! ;)]*
The lunch-lady paled. "Linda!" She called behind her shoulder, "Get this kid a cheeseburger!"
Anakin jumped down. "That's better."
Suddenly a vision of Qui-Gon Jinn appeared before Anakin's eyes. "Anakin, you will go to the Dagobath System. Oops! Sorry! Wrong movie!"
Qui-Gon ________*
*Faited away, melted, went for Timmy's throat.
Timmy walked into the lunchroom, "Hi Anakin! Wanna sit by me?"
"I'd rather die."
"Pie! You have pie?! What kind? Apple, peach? Pumpkin?"
"I don't have any pie."
"You want to die? Why?"
"No Pie!" Anakin said though clenched teeth.
"Shy? You don't seem shy, Anakin!"
"I'm not shy!"
"What kinda pie?"
"Timmy pie..."
"Hmmm, sounds great! Can I have some?"
Anakin was just about to slice Timmy into bits with his training lightsaber when the lunch-lady called his name. "Hey Dark-Side boy! Your burgers up!"
Anakin scowled, he hated kindergarden.
After lunch everyone went outside to play shock-ball. Poor Anakin! Timmy got stuck on his team! A 5th grader named Kelly threw the ball to Anakin, "Pass it kid! Don't let the ball shock you!"
Anakin glanced around and saw Timmy. He ran over to him, "Here Timmy take this!" he shoved the ball at Timmy.
Timmy smiled, "Wow! Cool! Thank you, Anakin! I've never played with a ball before! You're a real pal!"
The Ball ______*
*Shocked Timmy, blew up in Timmy's face, decided NOT to shock Timmy and went to sleep instead, went for Timmy's throat.
The bell rang. Anakin lined up to go back inside. Timmy stood behind him. Timmy yanked on his Padawan braid and ______*
*Pulled the braid out of Anakin's head and ate it, Starting singing "The Wheels on The Bus" but changed the words to "The Firestone Tires on the bus go boom, boom, boom...," Started singing "Break Me, Shake Me." By Savage Garden, went for Anakin's throat.
"OW!" Anakin yelled, "That hurt!"
"Cow?! I hate cows!!"
"Not cows, stupid! OW!"
"I think Anakin's a girl! He has a braid!!"
Kelly smacked Timmy upside the head, "Retard! He's a Jedi Knight, he's supposed to have a braid! It shows he's an Apprentice! Hoser!"
Timmy _______*
*Started sobbing, pulled Kelly's hair, finshed singing "Break Me, Shake Me," went for Kelly's throat.
Anakin finally so sick of Timmy pulled out his lightsaber and hacked Timmy into fish food.
Jenna gasped, "Oh my God! You killed Timmy!"
The teacher looked at what was left of Timmy and said, "We're going to need another Timmy!"
The End.
Cue "Break Me, Shake Me" as ending credit music
(Hey! It's better than "Wheels on the bus!")
Credits:
Anakin Skywalker: Jake Lloyd
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Ewan McGregor
Kelly: Cerasi Kenobi
Jenna: Yoda Newkirk
Timmy: (Insert politician of your choice here!)
Teacher: Jaina Solo
Camera Men: Gaven Antilles and Cody "Qui-Gon" Williams*
Author: ME!!
Music By: Savage Garden
Catering By: R U Hungry? Inc.
Clothes: The Crater (Formaly know as The Gap.)
Lightsabers By: Some guy who I can't remember!! Oh yeah! George Lucas!
The coffin for Timmy was made by: The Road Kill Café, Inc
Thank You, Ladies, Gentlemen and Jedi for reading this stupid little story!
If you made it this far, we're proud of you! :)