A/N: Okay, new story, same characters, set right after Enter, The Lady in Black, Stage Left. Roughly a month after, actually. Long enough for Strike Force One to settle into Atlantis, but not quite long enough for anybody to work out any inter-personal shit.

Elizabeth Weir can hear her two senior military officers yelling at each other from all the way down the hall.

Well, to be fair only Major Sheppard is yelling.

Captain Ezrikos, unless on an off world mission gone badly awry, or faced with a recaltrant scientist, never raises her husky, smoky voice above a soft speaking tone.

Not there is much soft about her voice: that woman could cut steel with her sarcasm, and the one member of her team who speaks any Bahzir at all tells her that the captain's curses would make a US Army Ranger blush like a school girl.

All in that same whiskey and silk voice.

There's something about Ezrikos that bothers her.

Not her intentions, which are of the highest caliber, or her military record, which is spotless, but some gut feeling.

Something innately female and completely unfounded. Elizabeth is beginning to think it might be something like jealousy, and she doesn't like that.

It doesn't really make any sense either. She isn't jealous of the captain's relationships, because as far as she knows the captain doesn't have any relationships. Neither of them is particularly feminine, so it probably isn't her looks either, although Ezrikos is beautiful.

Maybe it's her attitude. There's certainly enough of that to go around.

She breaks off her train of thought as the two soldiers enter her office, still arguing.

"…still didn't have to send him out on maintenance for a week," Major Sheppard is saying.

Shouting, really.

"You are welcome to reprimand your crews as you see fit, Major. Perhaps when you begin implementing disciplinary actions their rather abysmal service records will improve." Ezrikos, as Elizabeth predicted, is not shouting.

In fact, she sounds like she's auditioning to be a phone-sex operator.

"Hey!" Major Sheppard is indignant. "What are you-"

The captain cuts him off smoothly. "But do please refrain from criticizing my decisions. When you go off duty those deck crews are mine, and they'll perform as I assume they've been trained to, or I'll punish them as I see fit."

Despite her very vague dislike of the woman, Elizabeth is always amused at the ways she manages to insinuate that the military forces from Earth are somehow below her standards.

Of course, it wouldn't be so amusing if she didn't do it just to annoy Major Sheppard.

He, predictably, latches on to what is, grammatically, the least important part of her statement.

"You don't think they've been trained…" he trails off, scrutinizing the captain, who raises her eyebrows, mocking him silently.

He grins suddenly. "You did that just to get a rise out of me."

"Get a rise?"

"Piss me off," he clarifies. "Let's not get off topic. I could order you to stop your little 'disciplinary actions'."

Ezrikos folds her arms. "Yeah? Order me."

They're toe to toe, inches apart in the middle of her office. She wonders if she should interrupt to demand that they take their argument elsewhere, and clears her throat.

They both look at her suddenly, and Major Sheppard blinks, as though he wasn't expecting to see her there.

"Can I help you two with something?"

"Oh! Uhh…" while Major Sheppard visibly struggles to remember why he came into her office, Ezrikos unfolds her arms and hands Elizabeth a clipboard with a form attached.

"The latest dock activity reports. Sign and date, please."

She manages to make the very businesslike words come out in a purr. Manage is perhaps not the right word: Elizabeth doesn't think she's doing it on purpose.

"Thank you captain, major. Now both of you take your argument somewhere other than my office."

Ezrikos smirks at the two Earth-born members of the team, and saunters out with a casual salute to both of them.

Major Sheppard glares after her for a moment before remembering where he is, and leaving with an apologetic grin over his shoulder.

Elizabeth bends back to her paperwork, shaking her head. Those two drive her crazy.

If they weren't two of the best military officers she'd ever heard of, she'd lock them up together and have them taped like a reality show.

She could use a little comedic relief.