Mine
Summary: Sam and Jack have always been just a bit possessive of each other.
Authors note: Yes, I know, this has been done to death. I am a long time reader and first time writer. Please be kind.
Season: Three. After There But For The Grace of God and Point of View.
Disclaimer: the Stargate universe and characters do not belong to me. I am borrowing them purely for entertainment purposes. All original content is mine.
Chapter 1
He was kissing her. She had initiated it, but he was kissing her back. The other Sam she corrected herself.
Sam's feet were rooted to the floor. She felt a slight flush start up her neck and her heart start pounding in her ears. She tried to look away, the best she could do was glance down at her hands, and somehow her eyes made it back to the two people on the other side of the mirror. Her eyes were glued to them.
To her – the other her, kissing her Jack. The Colonel Jack O'Neill that belonged in her reality, she corrected herself again, not her Jack.
Sam always knew protocol but she was momentarily dazed and couldn't think of the right thing to do in this situation. So she watched, her heart hammering in her chest.
When they broke apart she could see her kiss-swollen lips – the other Sam's kiss-swollen lips, that had been caused by her Jack. The flush steadily rose up her neck to reach her face as the Jack said his final goodbye to her and turned and looked at her. Sam couldn't read the look on his face, a slight quirk of the lip that didn't quite look like a smile. Completely unreadable eyes, the special ops eyes.
Jack touched the mirror and he was instantly on her side of the mirror standing next to her. Jack mumbled 'Carter' in greeting as he turned and walked past her and out into the corridor. Not knowing what else to do, Sam turned and followed him. Jack turned the corridor to the armoury to stow his weapon and Sam turned the corner in the opposite direction, heading to her lab.
That evening found Sam squirreled in her lab. The debriefing had been excruciating for her. Not for the first time, she was thankful that she always sat next to Jack, and not opposite him in the briefing room, so she could easily avoid meeting his eyes if necessary. No mention was made of the kiss. She didn't think anyone else had seen it so of course the only people who would raise it were Jack or herself. And she didn't think Jack was going to, and she certainly wasn't going to. She could feel the slight flush on her cheeks the entire briefing and she hoped to God that Jack didn't notice.
Sam sighed. The feeling of awkwardness came and went with them. Every time something happened between them, they wouldn't talk about it. They would hide it away, or pretend it didn't happen. The awkwardness after the Broca Divide incident had taken months to go away. Jack being the professional soldier hadn't let it affect anything in a professional capacity and most certainly not off world. It was likely this would be the same situation. It would take a few weeks and would just gradually go away, and they would never even talk about how he had kissed her – the other her.
Her lab was dark, the only illumination coming from the flashing lights of her machines and the lamp that was on her bench, focused on the device SG13 had brought back from P5X-484 last week. Sam so caught up in her gloomy thoughts she didn't immediately feel the set of eyes on her.
"Sir! I didn't hear you come in."
Jack was leaning on the doorway, his arms folded, watching her, an unreadable expression on his face. When Sam spoke Jack slowly unfolded his arms and moved into her lab, taking the seat on the other side of the bench.
"Watcha doin?" he asked, stretching is legs out before him.
Sam's eyes narrowed imperceptibly, her mind jumping from being the dutiful officer and explaining exactly how she was trying to use the size 4ml phillips head screwdriver to remove outer shell on the device SG13 had brought back, to trying to figure out whether he really wanted to know, and if he didn't, what was he there for.
Sam's heart started thumping in her chest again, the slight flush rising up her chest again. "Well Sir, SG13 brought this device back from P5X-484…." She started.
Jack interrupted her, his hands flapping in his typical Jack way, "Ack Carter, I meant it's half nine and you're still here. Go home!" Sam smiled slightly and looked down at the screwdriver clutched in her hand. She really should go home.
"Yes Sir, I'll be leaving shortly…" Sam wondered if there was anything more the Colonel came to her lab for. At this time of night he usually only stopped by when he wanted something. The silence dragged out and when Jack didn't offer anything, she asked "Are you on your way out too Sir?"
Jack jumped up and said "Yep, that's me done for the day. Don't stay too long Carter", before turning and walking out. Sam mumbled "Yes Sir" quietly as the sound of his boots faded down the corridor.
Sam sighed again. She supposed it was usual that CO's and 2IC's didn't really talk about feelings, but in their line of work and they things they did and saw they weren't exactly the standard CO and 2IC. They would probably never talk about it, and life would just go on. Maybe she should just go home and start afresh tomorrow.
Jack couldn't quite put his finger on when Major Carter became 'his Major'. Became 'his Major' to everyone else, or became 'his Major' in his head when he thought of her. Not that he consciously thought of Major Carter as 'his Major', but he couldn't help but be possessive of the genius scientist who was the most capable 2IC he'd ever had. He'd heard the rumours, two other SG teams had officially requested Hammond assign her to their teams, the Pentagon wanted her back and there had been numerous requests from Area 51 for her expertise. No, Jack was possessive of his genius Major. She was an integral part of his team and no other team was going to get their hands on her if he had a say in the matter.
The fact that she was gorgeous, just his type and he felt way more than he was supposed to about her, had nothing to do with his possessiveness. Or so he told himself. It was only moments of weakness, like this, in the middle of the night after a particularly stressful or dangerous mission, or after a few drinks around a fire in his backyard to make him mellow, did he allow himself to reflect on matters such as these.
Right now Carter was sat on the opposite side of the fire in his backyard. Daniel sitting next to her had had a few beers and was gesturing wildly regaling Carter with his latest theory on the Aztecs. Sam and Teal'c listened to him and smiled indulgently, like a parent to a child.
Jack sighed and scrubbed his face with his hand. They hadn't really spoken about the alternate reality Carter coming through the mirror and it weighed on his mind. Obviously it weighed on her mind too. He thought back to her comment 'Got a few hours?' He was genuine in his offer to listen about how she was coping.
But then he kissed her. Well, alternate reality Carter. What the hell was he thinking? Jealousy that the alternate reality Jack had gotten to do that, to show the world, the universe that alternate reality Carter was his? Alternate reality Jack had married alternate reality Carter and put a damn ring on her for cryin' out loud! He couldn't very well do that to his Carter. His Major. Jack didn't know what Carter felt for him. She was his friend, she had told him that. She was…Jack wanted to call her 'sweet' sometimes. She was caring, she looked after her team, her boys, when they were sick or injured. But they didn't talk about 'feelings' so Jack had no idea if the idea of being more than just CO and 2IC had even crossed her mind. Jack snorted softly imagining the look on his Carter's face if he tried to put a ring on her finger!
Alternate reality Carter was hurting, grieving for her version of him, and he had given her what she needed. It didn't make him feel any better that in his mind, he had taken advantage of alternate reality Carter, thinking that was the closest he would ever come to kissing his Carter. To staking his claim on his Carter.
Jack's legs stretched out towards the fire, his back leaning on a log behind him, empty beer resting against his leg. He could feel the chill starting to creep into his bones, and he knew that if he could feel it, his Carter could feel it.
Jack watched her over the fire, flanked by Daniel and Teal'c, a soft smile on her lips. Jack was struck – again – at how the light played off her hair and how her affection for Daniel shone in her eyes.
Carter looked up and caught him watching her. She tilted her head in an unspoken question "What?" Jack, momentarily caught off guard, raised his empty beer bottle and raised his eyebrows, an unspoken question in return. "Want another?" Carter smiled softly and nodded.
Jack dusted off his pants as he stood up and went inside. Years of special ops training meant he knew when someone was watching him, but he didn't need the special ops training to know it his Major. His senses were so finely tuned to her he felt the hair on back of his neck when she watched him. She watched him walk all the way back into the house.
Jack grabbed the two cold beers from the fridge. He didn't need to ask Daniel if he wanted one, the last one he had was still half full.
Jack went to his room and grabbed two sweaters. One for him and one for his Major. He paused with the sweaters in his hand. The faded blue sweater was one that he always loaned her. He had come to think of it "Carter's sweater", and he readily admitted to himself that he always made sure it was clean and ready for her to wear when he knew she was coming around.
Sam saw Jack's outline in the light from the house come back down to the fire pit. Over her shoulder he passed her a frosty beer and then his faded blue sweater she always wore at his house when she was cold. She accepted the sweater without hesitation, slipping it over her head and tousling her hair. She had brought a sweater with her, and left it inside with her purse. She always brought a sweater when she thought they would sit outside – an innate reaction to years of military training. Always be prepared.
After the first few times she had worn his sweater, he would wordless pass it too her, and she would thank him for it, knowing full well that there was one sitting on his couch with her purse. It was just one of their things.
The four of them sat in quiet introspection around the fire. Sam didn't notice the time passing, until Daniel got up and stretched, claiming it was time for him to turn in. Teal'c agreed, and moved up to the house with Daniel, intending on kel'no'reeming until Daniel could drive him back to base in the morning.
Sam instantly felt the air change without Daniel and Teal'c. It was just her and her Colonel, and she wondered in the back of her mind what the NID, or anyone else who seemed to have it in for the SGC, would make of her and her Colonel sitting around in his back yard at 11.00pm, their inhibitions slightly lowered from the beer, and both of them having drunk too many beers to drive.
Sam sipped her beer and smiled a small smile towards her Colonel. She put the beer on the ground next to her and sank a little further into her Colonel's sweater, the collar coming up to her nose. She inhaled deeply, smelling the musky aftershave he wore, mixed with the clean scent of his laundry powder. The smell comforted her.
She knew he considered this 'Carter's sweater' from the time that she had left it on the kitchen bench and Daniel had knocked his coffee over, spilling it on 'her' sweater. Sam had heard her Colonel read Daniel the riot act, saying "you had better hope to whatever being is claiming to be a God this week that your coffee comes out of Carter's sweater or else!' Sam personally thought his reaction was a little overboard, but her stomach gave a slight flutter at the words 'Carter's sweater', when her Colonel knew very well that it was his, not hers.
Jack dusted off his pants as he got up and moved over to sit next to her. Jack stretched out his legs towards the fire, both hands around his half empty beer in his lap, his fingers fiddling with the label. The space between them was more than protocol considered appropriate and Sam could tell that there was a slight tension in his shoulders.
Sam knew something was on his mind and she thought she knew what. Sam wondered whether now was an appropriate time to talk – they were alone in his backyard at 11.00pm, both of them having drunk too much to be making rational decisions.
"Sam, we should talk". Sam's heart stuttered, he never called her "Sam".
"Sir?"
"Are we…good?"
"Sir?" Sam's heart was now thudding in her chest, her mind racing. What had she said to make her Colonel think that they weren't ok?
"You know, after the whole twin thing?"
"You mean the Quantum Mirror and the Dr Carter from the alternate reality?"
Jack nodded and Sam tilted her head slightly, a question in her eyes.
"Yes Sir, we are fine. Why wouldn't we be?" Sam wasn't going to be the one to raise the fact that he had kissed alternate reality her, and that the memory bothered her. If she was honest with herself it bothered her more than slightly, but she couldn't allow her mind to fully explore the reason why. She wanted to just ask him outright why he had kissed the other her, but no, despite the beer starting to cloud the rational part of her mind, she knew it was inappropriate to just jump in there with that.
Jack didn't quite know how to say what he wanted to say, in a way that would be protocol appropriate. "You know I heard a rumour the other day that Dixon wants you for his team….."
Sam's eyes widened, her heart thudding. That was not what she expected him to say. Was he trying to suggest that she should be reassigned?
Jack continued, looking at the fire, and not meeting her eyes, "I know SG11 has already requested you be assigned to them and there is interest in you from Area 51….." Jack trailed off.
Sam was speechless. Didn't he want her on SG1? Had things been that awkward between them that he felt that it would affect them in the field, that he couldn't work with her any more?
"Colonel, are we talking about me being reassigned?" Sam asked softly, confused.
Jack sighed, "Yes.. No…. Should we be talking about reassignment?"
Sam's voiced hardened, "I don't know Sir. You were the one who brought it up. Am I being reassigned?"
"Only if you want to be". Jack responded non-committedly.
Sam swore internally. "Why would I want to be reassigned Sir?"
Jack cleared his throat. Good one Jack, open your mouth and shove your foot right in.
The stricken look in his Major's big blue eyes said that there was something in this conversation she didn't understand. Yes Jack, just jam that foot down your throat.
Jack tried again. "Ok, this hasn't come out right. Sam, things haven't been… peachy…. between us since I, uh, came back from the alternate reality and I think you blame me… if you, uh…were considering requesting reassignment, I want you to know there are a lot of good options out there – inside the SGC and outside…. and I would support whatever decision you make."
Yes Jack, that was certainly clearer. Sam's eyes narrowed. "Colonel, I am not sure I understand what you're saying…"
Jack didn't say anything, so Sam continued. "Are you saying that because things have been uh, well, different between us and you think that I blame you for uhm, kissing the me – the other me - you are suggesting that I ask to be reassigned?" There was a slight panic in her voice and it was higher pitched than usual.
Jack paused. Yes, that's kinda what you meant to suggest just not that way. Only if she felt she couldn't work with the discomfit you dolt! You meant to let her blame you and give her the easy out!
"Well I don't want to be reassigned" Sam said bluntly, before Jack could respond. The fact that she didn't tack even a belated "Sir" on the end of that sentence eluded his notice.
Jack let out a sigh of relief, his shoulders sagging slightly.
"I don't want you to go anywhere Sam," he said quietly.
Jack saw the stricken look hadn't quite left Sam's face, her eyes still wide. She turned her body to face his, resting her shoulder on the log and folding her legs Indian style.
"Then why the talk about reassignment, Sir?" she questioned.
Jack kicked himself mentally. Yes Jack, why lead with the reassignment bit? You suck at talking.
"You know Carter – the twin thing…." He trailed off watching her face. She looked at him blankly. What's with the Carter you dolt!? A second ago she was Sam to you! Nope ok, Jack take the bull by the horns. She deserves your honesty.
"Carter, you know I'm not good with words. We don't talk about feelings" he started, flapping his hand and gesturing between the two of them.
"Ok, to be blunt, I kissed you - the other you and now things are awkward between us".
Jack noticed the slight flush spread up Sam's neck. Yep, that's it, that's definitely the reason for the awkwardness. Sam was silent.
"I don't want the awkwardness to affect us professionally – to interfere with the team off world. I…its….the other you was grieving for the other me. She needed something from me, something that I couldn't give her because I wasn't the other me." Sam was silent, pensive. Jack noticed the flush had reached her face and spread ever so enticingly across her cheeks.
Jack was smitten and he knew it. His heart raced, like it did before he did something important - like before going into battle, like before he proposed to Sara and when he saw Sara take the first step down the aisle towards him. And just like before he said something oh so inappropriate to his 2IC. This was dangerous, oh so dangerous to be having this conversation, here, now, at 11.00pm in his backyard where the fire and a few too many beers had lowered his defences. Who are you kidding Jack? Your defences are always low when it comes to her!
"Carter, I am going to say something inappropriate now and if you want to bring me up on charges, I'll march myself straight to the General tomorrow."
Sam looked at him warily.
"Carter, kissing the other you felt wrong because she wasn't you. But it felt so right to kiss her, because she was...you." Jack grimaced. He felt like a teenager again – having to justify why he was kissing someone. He hated to even use the word. Kissing. As an adult, a fully-fledged Colonel who had seen more men die than anyone should ever have to, shouldn't have to justify who he chose to kiss. He should be allowed to kiss whomever the damn hell he wanted to.
Jack watched as the flush deepened on her face, her eyes on her hands.
"So…. that's why the reassignment. You're brilliant Carter, the SCG, hell this planet needs you, and you shouldn't have to deal with the burden of having a CO who uh…thinks inappropriate things about his 2IC. This planet doesn't need you worrying that I'm going to uh, take advantage of you. As I said, what ever you want to do, I'll support that decision. Hell, tell Hammond, or I will resign or ask to be transferred to a different team…."
Sam's eyes flew up to meet his.
"No, Sir, you can't leave SG1! This is – it's fine Sir, it's…not awkward in the way you think. It's, well…flattering, Sir. Yeah if the NID or Kinsey heard you say that, they would use that against us, say that it's inappropriate, but well, Sir, thank you for being honest with me." Sam paused before continuing softly, "I can honestly say that this is not going to affect our working relationship, Sir".
"Carter – are you sure…"
Sam cut Jack off, her hand reaching out to him, smiling softly. She stopped herself before she touched him. "Sir, I am sure…" she trailed off, seemingly working herself up to say something. "You asked me the other day how I was doing with the 'twin thing'. Honestly Sir, I was, I don't know, curious about her, her life, and honestly, a bit jealous…. she had… things… that I don't have." Sam paused.
Jack is she saying what you think she's saying? She was jealous that you kissed the other her?!
"Sir, I belong with you on SG1. I don't want to be reassigned. This…" she waved her hand between the two of them, "this doesn't change anything."
Jack was relieved. "So I can tell Dixon that he's not getting his grubby mitts on my genius scientist?" Dangerous Jack – don't tell her you think of her as 'yours'!
Laughing lightly Sam played along. Yes Sir, you can tell Colonel Dixon, and Colonel Reynolds for that matter, that you won't let this scientist leave SG1. And Area 51 and the Pentagon, Sir you can tell them that I belong with you on SG1 and at the SGC. They can't tempt me away from…the action, Sir."
Jack smiled at Sam, and was rewarded with the blinding smile she saved just for him. Yep, everything was going to be all right. He stretched the kink out of his upper back, relaxing for the first time that night, and turned his face back to the fire.
Sam turned to lean her back against the log again, stretching her legs out to the fire. As she did, she inched closer to Jack, and her elbow brushed his arm. Out the corner of his eye he saw her pull the collar of the sweater back up to her face, and bury her nose in it. At first he thought she was cold, and then he saw, and felt, her breath in deeply, as if smelling the sweater.
Jack felt a twinge in his stomach, and his heart skipped a beat. Sam was smelling his sweater. His sweater, that he knew smelled like clean laundry and his aftershave and most likely him, from being kept in a drawer next to the sweater he wore at home.
Jack's heart swelled with possessiveness for the beautiful genius woman sitting beside him. What had he done to deserve her loyalty? She had just admitted to feeling jealous when she saw him kissing the other her. And she had more or less told him she was ok with him feeling inappropriate things for her. And whether she was joking or not, she had agreed to let him tell other SG teams, the Pentagon and Area 51, that she was 'his scientist'.
Jack shot a glance at her out of the corner of his eye, and saw she had a contented smile on her face. Jack moved his arm to stretch it out behind her on the log. Sam, seemingly without thinking, slouched down and rested her head back on his arm.
Yep, she is my Major all right.