Disclaimer: I do not own Legend of Zelda, the Coca-Cola Company, or the postal service. However, the DFA (deluded fruitcakes anonymous) is paying mortgage to me, so technically I own them. BOO FROOTKAKES
Chapter 1: Mail's here
Link was dreaming linkish dreams like hitting ninjas with newspapers, being a 50-foot tall chicken with an AK-47, and hacking a robotic Deku baba. Then, it shifted to a completely unlinkish dream. He was standing infront of a big castle eating licorice during a lightningstorm.
"Taffy."
Excuseme?
"I'm eating taffy. It tastes chocolatey. Want some?"
No, I'm good. There was a rider on horseback carrying a girl and...
"A purdy gurl, too"
Whatever. and the girl in the rider's arms looked like she wanted to say something but
"To me, she looked like she wanted a sloppy joe."
STOP INTERRUPTING!
"But she really wants a sloppy..."
"CUT!"said the director. the cameras turned off, there were bright lights, link went over to THE SNACK TABLE! YEEEEEHAW!
"listen, Karr, do you think we should get a new link?"
Yep. I'll get a boy. Somehow....
RandR or King Midos will sentence you to death by cheese fondue!