Readers thus far hailing from USA and Sinapore!

Disclaimer: Whoever said, "Tis better to have loved and lost ..." never REALLY loved at all. Oh, and this PotF thing? Whatever. I don't own it.

48/18: Phil's Point of View

or

Chapter Eight -- What Really Happened ...

"She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not"

;0D

Thanks to okaie for writing this tale.
She has a different take on how our story should end.

;0)

Phil awoke from his daydreaming.

Yeah, that's what should have happened. He did get parts of it right; her mind was already made up and she had decided on their future without his input. She confused him with her compassion:

"Phil, you're the perfect man."

"Phil, I still love you, just not like I did before."

"Phil, I have to do what's best for me."

"Phil, I'm sorry."

He gave her his heart, never even once considering that she'd actually go and break it once it was hers. He still loved her so much it astonished him, how absolute his desire to make her happy. He just couldn't fathom how she could tell him "yes" so many times, and how much she loved him, and also tell him that he wasn't right for her. Despite her claims that she had been feeling this way for months, there had been enthusiasm and longing just three weeks ago when she told him of a special outing she was arranging for the two of them to be together -- this change in her heart had happened suddenly, but what was it's root? It was killing him. How could she love him so intensely month after month, making him a part of her, then cut him out of her heart and callously discard him, probably for another. He was her best friend, shared with her all of his secrets, gave her his heart and everything he had and would ever had, and had heard her words as she accepted his pledge time after time., calling him "Hubby" and "Phil-Phil." In an instant, she redefined herself as cruel, distant, and cold. It was like she died when she killed their being a couple; he couldn't recognize her anymore, or himself.

Phil missed Keely. Not her hair, or the way she filled out her pop-star jeans; he missed her. Bubbly, full of life, optimistic one moment and fretting over babies with rickets in India the next, he missed most of all the way she smiled and the feeling she have him by letting him be the on who give those smiles birth. The Keely who thought about other people before herself, who calculated which words wouldn't hurt before she spoke. They were a couple, a team, practically man and wife; he thought about how so many times she had signed her love letters as "Love, Keely Diffy." Then all of a sudden, this? She told him that they didn't feel right anymore? She had always felt right to him; together, they felt right for him, all that was true and important and right in his world.

She was the only person he had done everything for,

offered his heart to and had it accepted,

waited for,

journeyed back to,

and ...

... ‹3 LOVED ‹3!

She had made her mind up. She could change it, sure, but she probably wouldn't. He knew this and so did she. Keely told him that she still loved him, would always love him, but she couldn't go on like this. A decision to stop being in love? There was the tension in her voice of someone who had weighed her situation and finding him wanting, had decided to take the path of her calculations, not her heart. He kept trying to understand what she wasn't telling him, her private truth. Hadn't she made him promise "no more secrets?" "One hundred percent honesty?" What had he done wrong? He'd been honest with her about everything, been up front about his true age, instead of using the New Ager. Was it really only about how she felt being around someone looking old enough to be her father, even if he was basically a teenager inside, just waiting to pick up on living life with her? She was never like that when they were alone together or even talking on the phone. Nevertheless, she had made her decision.

She

Had

Decided ...

.

... alone.

.

There was something to that. Nothing he had done or said mattered, except to prolong her deciding to break up. This was entirely her decision.

Phil had watched his parents deal with arguments and adversity no matter what the century. No matter if there was a winner or compromiser, or even if they both lost, they did it together as one. Making decisions together, be they big or small -- and this was colossal -- was part of being a couple. Keely hadn't acted this way. She said it herself, she had decided, no matter how hard a decision it was to make, to do what she thought was best for her. This was significant. Keely had decided that he was unfit to be the man to make her happy, unworthy to share their life together, and unsatisfactory as the father of their children ... he had truly been looking forward to one day helping raise their babies, watching them grow, being a father -- he had believed her when she told him he'd make a great father. He believed all the things she ever told him, especially three:

First postulation: They were in love.

Second postulate: They were a couple.

Third postulate: They were happy.

"Were" seems appropriate in all cases, but were any of these true? Phil pulled out his Giggle, "Giggle On," and scanned "Phil Diffy & Keely Teslow" during the ordinary, day to day routines that they had during "2005." Maybe his memories were all rose-colored? Displayed by his Giggle on the helmet's window shade screen were the tons of recording gathered by his never-far-out-of-reach Wizrd. Happy sighs escaped the reviewing Phil, confirming that they were indeed happy.

Third postulation: They were happy. √

He continued his search, ordering his Giggle to draw its attention to 2006. Fewer files, since his family left early in the year, but this was the year that they drew even closer. In 2006, his family seemed to have finally planted roots in the 21st Century, and Keely and he had at last admitted to themselves their "coupleness." This seemed easy to decided:

Second postulation: They were a couple. √√

So, on to the first, biggest question: were they in love? Gee, he had thought so. They even used to tease each other over who loved whom more.

The giggle was too smart for it's own good. Since he hadn't specified a year, it pulled up all the occurrences it had stored regarding "love" and the two of them. Little gifts, late night AIMing and emails, phone calls just because, quotes peppered the screen nearly blocking out images of her birthday picnic in the park, supporting each other in times of trouble, dancing in the garage, their first kiss, and all the kissing and more they had done since he had returned. Phil was a cuddler and Keely loved him for being so romantic. This seemed like a sure fire stir-banger:

First postulation: They were in love. √√√ X ∞

Therefore, they were in couple in love -- so why weren't they one now? This is what Phil didn't get. To him, it didn't add up. Keely had told him that he didn't get it. What to do, what to do, how to solve?

When an answer doesn't make sense, you go back and see if you made a stupid ass-sumption ...