I own nothing

Prelude

It was a sunny day in Konohagakure no Sato, and many people have taken the opportunity to spend their free time outside, hanging out with friends and family.

Though not everyone.

„I'm sorry Ino, I busy" said Sakura as she placed the mortar and pestle on her work table „I have to finish with this before I can go anywhere."

The blond girl shook her head „Tsunade-sama is really a slave driver...don't tell her I said that" added Ino pleadingly.

Sakura smiled „Of course not" Bribe material!

The blond girl shrugged and turned to leave „Take care, don't overwork yourself."

Sakura nodded and return to her chore, she almost cried when she saw how many bottles of medication she had to make.

She glanced around to make sure nobody was around before inhaling „Yosh, if I don't finish the remaining bottles until the end of the day, I will demand a double torture...I mean training session with teacher" she said imitating Lee's enthusiasm, hoping it would encourage her in finishing this „now back to work."

First Scene

Sakura slowly open her eye's, feeling a little disorganized. Looking around herself she concluded that she fell asleep on the table after she filled the last bottle.

Rubbing her eyes, she started to clean the remaining chemicals, and placing the bottles into the designated places.

Glancing at the clock she saw that she slept through the better part of the day Crap, she though as her stomach decided to remind her that she didn't eat anything.

Well, at least I'm done with this she smiled and jumped out of the window, down on the street.

As she was about to pass the grocery store she stopped and decided that she could buy something here for the time being.

After taking a bottle of tomato juice and a few fruits she went to the cashier...only to stop and stare at the man standing behind the counter.

„Errr good day..." she said with hesitation.

„Happy Storeee" replied the huge man with a 'Happy Store' paper bag on his head.

The hell? Wonder Sakura as she stared at the...weirdo? intruder? lunatic?

She was debating what to do when a jounin walked to the cashier and placed the goods on the counter, and after paying them left.

Sakura could only watch the entire thing with puzzlement The shinobi acted as if this was normal...

She approached the counter with the paper bag wearing giant and placed the things she wanted to purchase in front of the suspicious individual.

After entering the prices into the cash register a recipe came out, and was handed over to her.

Sakura only glanced at it for a second, before returning her focus back on the man. She pulled out her wallet and payed for the items.

„Happy Storeee" said the giant as he took the money and placed it inside the register.

Even as she was walking out, she felt that something wasn't as it should be.

As she walked down the street she took one of the apples and started to eat it, her thoughts focused on the strange salesman.

„Oy Sakura!" came Kibas voice from her left, looking at the direction the sound came she almost choked on the apple she was eating.

She saw Kiba, Akamaru and two...animals? humans? Play cards in a cafe.

„How about a game?" asked the Inuzuka as he shuffled the cards.

Sakura was actually more concerned with his two friends...and since when did Akamaru learn to play cards anyway?

„Who are you friends?" she asked him, completely ignoring his question.

All four of the players shared a confused look with each other „What are you talking about?"

Sakura pointed at the leopard man and the wolf man siting with him around the table.

„Yo Kiba, do you think Sakura hit her head or something?" asked Jabra.

The Inuzuka shrugged „Don't know. But if this is some joke Sakura, it's a really tasteless one."

„She seems generally surprised by us..." said Rob Lucci as he examined her appearance.

„Perhaps she ingested something?" interjected Akamaru as he waited for Kiba to deal the cards already.

Now she definitely knew somethings wrong here „A-Akamaru! You can speak?!"

This time the four of them stared at her as if she went bananas „Perhaps it would be better if you visited the hospital" said Kiba „you are talking nonsense."

„Yes! Tsunade! I have to talk to teacher!" she shouted and ran off, leaving a dust cloud behind.

„Poor girl...I wonder if we can help her somehow?" said Jabra as he watched her leave.

„Place your bets.." came Kibas voice, and everyone instantly forgot about her as the cards were placed in front of them.

Second Scene

This makes no sense! Raged inner Sakura as she ran to the Hokages office. She was about to barge in, but stopped herself in time..before she did something she might regret...

A shudder ran down her spine as she though about an angry Tsunade.

Caching her breath she slowly knocked on the door.

„Tsk, how troublesome..come in" came the voice from the other side.

When she opened the door the first thing that she saw was Shikamaru siting in the Hokage chair...the hokage hat placed on his head.

W-w „WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" she screamed.

The Nara raised an eyebrow „Paperwork?"

The pink haired kunoichi was ready to smack the smart-ass „I mean why are you siting there...AND EVEN WEARING THE HOKAGE HAT!"

Shikamaru focused his eyes on the girl „Because I am the Hokage" came his lazy reply.

Sakura felt a vain burst somewhere inside her head „No you are not. Tsunade is the Hokage" she smiled politely and took out her gloves to get some punching training.

It was at this moment that a knocked announced someone else entering the office.

„Ah Iva, Lee, I was expecting you" said the Nara.

Sakura forgot her earlier though about smacking Shikamaru out of the office and started to back away from the freak that accompanied Lee. She saw a lot of creepy things...but this takes the cake...A drag queen?!

„Me and sensei are ready to tackle anything on this fine youthful day!" said Lee excitedly.

That surprised Sakura „Wait! Sensei?! Where Gai?"

Lee smiled „Gai-sensei was send on a mission to Taki so Iva-san is filling in for now!"

As the poor kunoichi was dumbstruck by this, two other people entered the office.

„I apologize we are late Hokage-sama" said a young, brown-haired boy „its all Neji's fault."

Nonono, this is some sort of sick dream „T-Tenten?"

The boy looked at Sakura „Yes?"

...I'm dreaming, yes that's the only explanation! „What happened to you?!" and after seeing Neji „AND WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU!" screamed the girl as she stared at his..her..D-cup.

Neji's eye twitched „None of your business" came his irritable reply.

Tenten on the other hand had a huge grin across her-HIS face „He managed to anger Iva-sensei so this is his punishment."

„You mean WE, we angered Iva-sensei, don't you Tenten" spoke the Hyuuga „I cant understand how you are taking this so easily."

Tenten's grin only widened „This isn't so bad. And now I wont be useless anymore...and save a lot of money on certain products."

Ivankov looked down on the pink haired brat and smiled „Heehaw! Ohh are you interested in experiencing the other side candy boy?"

Sakura was about to say no but something other distracted her „Boy? I'm a girl!"

Now it was Invankov's turn to stare dumbly „My condolences..."

That was the last straw, Sakura couldn't take it anymore and ran out of the office.

„Vas it something I said?"

Third Scene

Sakura wasn't sure where she was running to but anywhere was better than here. The madness was too much.

She wasn't really watching where she was going so she ran into someone in the street.

„S-Sakura, watch where you are going!" said Ino.

„Sorry..."

„So whats the hurry?"

Tell her, or not? Rather not...this is not real, so I shouldn't get worked up over it. Nara as Hokage? No freaking way...

„Uh..I..I was feeling a bit hungry so I ended up running..." she lied, and lied badly „say Ino, how about we have lunch together? My treat?"

Ino raised an eye brow but shrugged „Fine by me."

The two made their way to a nearby restaurant, but a huge crowd was already gathered.

„Whats going on here?" asked Sakura.

Ino smacked her head „How could I forget! I don't think we will find anywhere to eat today. The champion came to our village."

Sakura blinked „The champion?"

„So far he was undefeated in any kind of eating competition..even the Akamichi lost!" explained Ino „There, that's him! The eating champion Lucy!" said the blond girl as she pointed at a man with a fake beard, a helmet and a red cape.

The man jumped on top of the building and shouted „I'm going to become the King of Plates!"

Wait what? „Who's the clown?" that earned herself a smack fro Ino on the back of her head.

„Don't insult him! He is famous!" said Ino dreamily.

Sakura watched the kid with the fake beard, wolf down more food than anyone she ever saw „t-that can't physically be possible?!"

„Lucy is a ruberman, he can eat as much as he want's" said the Yamanaka „and besides his flexibility he can expand his body parts" she smirked as she wiggled her eyebrows.

Sakura blushed „So what, size isn't everything a man has to be dependable and strong."

Ino's grin widened „He is also the champ because he defeated Tsunade, Reikage and Gai in battle."

That made the pink haired kunoichi do a double take „T-that's impossible!"

„But it is, If you don't believe me go ask Tsunade" said Ino.

„Yes, I should talk with teacher" and get away from this insanity.

Fourth Scene

Sakura managed to get to the hospital without running in to any more bizarre characters...except that one guy that had a bonnet and a pacifier...she still didn't understand why all the woman were so infatuated by the freak, screaming how he was hard boiled.

After asking the nurse at the reception area where Tsunade was she made her way to some familiar normality.

Or so she thought...

When she entered the room she saw Tsunade and a..tanuki diagnosing a skeleton.

„It looks like food poisoning...probably the milk went bad" came her reply.

Sakura raised her eyebrows at this. The tanuki was probably some sort of summon, and the skeleton is all that remained from a person who died of food poisoning.

„Teacher" she said as she approached.

Tsunade turned „Ah Sakura. Did you finish with filling the bottles?"

The kunoichi nodded „Yes."

Tsunade nodded „You see what a good apprentice I have Chopper?" a grin plastered on her face.

The animal called Chopper nodded.

„Should I call for an undertaker or notify the family of the deceased?" asked Sakura.

Chopper and Tsunade exchanged looks „Why?"

„Isn't it bad if a skeleton is taking beds made for patients?"

„Yohohoho, Sakura-san you are breaking my heart with your words...though I don't have a h-„ was the skeletons reply before a terrified Sakura threw the bed with the talking skeleton out of the window.

„I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!" she screamed and ran away.

Fifth Scene

Tsunade sighed after she examined Sakura once more. After her apprentice failed to appear and give her the report on the task of filling the bottles the blond woman went herself to Sakura's home.

She found the whole household in a comatose state.

Pushing her way to Sakura's room she found the pink haired girl laying on her table. Though the bottles with the medication were all filled and sorted, some of the leftover ingredients have started to mix and release a strong chemical agent in the air over the night.

„I need a drink" complained the Hokage and hoped Sakura will return to consciousness quickly...so she can beat the crap out of her young apprentice for the mistake.

END