Freak of Nature
[A/N: This is another lil' character monologue. I'm actually thinking about making this into a series, so give me your opinions!]
My name is Tobias.
I'm a freak of nature.
Too scared to be a human, too frightened to be a hawk.
A coward.
Yes, that's the right word for me. A coward.
A boy who's too afraid to be one thing or the other. A freak who runs away from his problems. A boy who's half Andalite, half hawk, half human. A nothlit.
A boy for whom the halves don't add up.
I could be a human again. I could have Rachel.
But I don't.
I could be a pure hawk. I could live the way that real hawks do.
But I don't.
I suppose, if I wanted to, I could be an Andalite. Live with honor and all.
But I don't.
I'm too scared to be anything. Too scared to admit that I need help. Too scared to be a warrior.
I'm just a little scared kid, who lived with an uncle who hit me, and an aunt who hated me.
A little scared kid.
I can see myself, as I was then.
I can see that little boy, cowering in a corner, blood running down his face from a gash in his forehead, or a broken nose.
Not crying. Crying would have made my uncle more upset.
Just whimpering.
And desperately trying to think of something better.
Rachel doesn't understand why I want to stay a hawk. She doesn't say it out loud, but I know she's a little disappointed in me.
I've told her that I want to stay in the fight. To continue fighting the Yeerks.
She always nods at me. Tells me it's my decision, that she'll support whatever I choose.
But I can see the tears welling up in her eyes as she lies. As she feels that disappointment one more time.
I always fly away at that point. Can't bear to see her cry.
Later when I go back, her tears are gone, and she's all business. She tells me we have a mission, and I feel the weight of that on my shoulders. Wings. Whatever.
And then I spread my wings, and soar away on a thermal, feeling the total, utter freedom in the sky.
I'm a boy. A hawk. Half Andalite.
A freak of nature.
But I have Rachel. I have my friends.
And I have the sky.
[A/N: Well? Liked it, loved it, hated it? Send any and all replies to me at anifuture@hotmail.com. And take a look at my webpage, at http://anifuture.hypermart.net.]