Disclaimer: I do not own Rosario + Vampire!
A/N: I know, I know I need to update my other stories... but there's this anime convention coming up... and I want to submit a one-shot to it, and i need to send it in before December 31! So I need to ask my reader's to help me out... PLEASE! I need to know which of my one-shot's is the funiest, between this one and my D. Gray Man one. Please PM me or tell me through your reviews. I really, really need to know so that I can continue tweeking the one that wins. Also I will update all of my story's on Christmas and maybe sooner, if I can get this done. So I ask again, please help me decide which of these is funnier 'A.S.A.P!' so that I can get it sent in, and start working on my stories again.
The Pervert is a Shy Gentleman
The ding of an oven going off could be heard in the dorm room of a certain bombshell succubus. The scent of cookies wafting through the room.
"Yahoo hoo~ Their done! I hope Tsukune-kun like's them!" Kurumu giggled, opening the oven and pulling out a sheet of assorted cookies. Then set them on top of the oven to cool. 'Good thing Yukari-Chan gave me that special sugar or I wouldn't have been able to make these.' She thought, making a mental note to thank Yukari later.
After waiting a few minutes of thinking of ways to give Tsukune the cookies without them landing on the ground, Kurumu placed the cookies into a plastic bag and tied it with a red ribbon. Yes tomorrow Tsukune would be hers! She looked over at the clock on the wall to see that it was already 6:30 in the morning. 'Wow time sure does go by fast.' Kurumu thought, 'Oh well might as well get ready! I have to look my best when I give these to Tsukune-Kun!'
Over on the boy's side of the dorm a sleeping Tsukune felt a shiver run down his spine, waking him up. Tsukune opened his eye's to see that he had left the window open. "Haha no wonder..." He chuckled, getting up to close the window. 'Well I guess I should get ready for today.' Tsukune thought, looking at the clock next to his bed.
Kurumu hummed a happy tune as she rinsed herself off in the shower. Yes today was going to be a good day. She would win the battle against Moka for Tsukune's heart! This was going to be one of the happiest days in her life. The only thing that could beat this day will be the day she walk's down the aisle with Tsukune waiting for her at the end, or the day when she has her own little bundle of joy in her arms with Tsukune looking at them with affection. Kurumu turned the shower off, and grabbed a towel off the shelf. She wrapped it around her and went over to the sink, and posed in front of the mirror a few times. "Damn I look good today! You shall be mine Tsukune-Kun!"
After getting dressed Kurumu was about to leave the room for school. "Oops! Almost forgot the cookie's." She said, running into the kitchen and grabbing the bag of cookies. Opening the door of her dorm room she saw Moka and Yukari waiting for her.
"Good mourning Kurumu-San." Moka said.
"Morning big boobs." Yukari said.
"I'm going to ignore your comment's for today as thanks for the sugar, but don't expect me to hold back tomorrow Yu-ka-ri-Chan~" Kurumu cooed, poking the young witch in the chest.
Moka watched the scene with a small smile. "Now, now you two let's go meet up with Tsukune, and get to class before we're late."
"Right!" The two girls shouted.
When the girls got outside, Tsukune was waiting for them the usual warm smile on his face. "Morning Moka-San, Kurumu-San, Yukari-Chan!" He said, while waving.
"Morning Tsukune-Kun!" Kurumu said, running over to the human boy and glomping him like usual. She made sure that his head was firmly pressed into her assets.
As Tsukune began to turn blue the group was shocked to see Kurumu knocked off of Tsukune by a giant hammer instead of the usual of either a pan or ice shuriken. What shocked them was the person who had stopped Kurumu from killing Tsukune from maybe being killed in one of either the most heavenly ways, or the most tragic. It was none other than Kokoa and she had a blush on her cheeks.
Kurumu rubbed her head glaring at the younger vampiress. Then smirked seeing the blush on Kokoa's face. "Ho does our little Kokoa-chan finally have an interest in something other than her Onee-sama? And could it be... Tsukune-kun?"
"U-U-Urusai! I-I do not have feeling's for that b-baka! I am a vampire why would I like something I would call food." Kokoa humphed, stomping away.
"KOKOA!" Moka shouted.
"What!? Your not my Onee-sama! Why should I have to listen to you!?" Kokoa shouted back as she continued to walk away.
Moka sighed, slumping her shoulders in defeat.
"It's ok Moka-san..." Tsukune said, giving a small smile. "I'm sure Kokoa didn't mean that. How about we get to school before we're late?"
Moka nodded a small smile lighting her features.
Kurumu kept the cookies tucked behind her back as they walked to school. If she gave them to Tsukune now it would definitely end up like usual with them going to waste. No she would have to wait until later.
As they neared the school Tsukune stopped and looked over at a nearby tree. "Morning Mizore-Chan." He said.
'Wow his detection skills have become a lot better.' All of the girls thought as Mizore stepped out from behind the tree with a faint blush. "Morning Tsukune-Kun."
The bell that indicated the beginning of another school day rang. The member's of the Newspaper Club ran to their class, not wanting to be late.
"Hmpf only idiot's go to class on time, right Kou-Chan?" A certain red headed vampire said. 'Now how should I save Onee-Sama today?' She thought, jumping down from the tree she was hiding in. She was watching to make sure that fake who was in control of her Onee-sama's body didn't do anything indecent with the human.
"H-Hai Kokoa-Sama!" Kou sweat dropped.
After school...
Kurumu yawned, resting her head on a desk. She pulled out the bag of cookies, setting them on the desk. "Mou! I wish Tsukune-Kun would hurry up! The days already almost over..." Kurumu yawned again, her eye's beginning to close. She was the only one in the club room because Tsukune and Yukari were burning the unsold copies of their last month's paper. Mizore she didn't know about. Moka was out helping Shizune-Sensei with something. Kokoa was probably off plotting another attempt to save her Onee-sama, and their so called club prez was probably doing the usual of peeping. She yawned again as her eye's became heavier. 'Maybe staying up all night to make cookies wasn't the best idea... only for a few mins...' She thought as she slipped off into the dream world.
Morioka Ginei walked into the club room sticking his new edition's of his 'collection' in his back pocket. He looked down to see a sleeping succubus and a bag of cookies. He grinned, thinking the cookies were for him. What cute girl wouldn't want to give him cookies? Was what his mind thought as he picked the bag up and pulled one of the ends of the red ribbon, opening the bag. He pulled out a cookie in the shape of a heart and tossed it into his mouth. 'Yum these are good!' He thought, as he slowly savored the cookie.
After a few second's went by Gin retied the bag up and laid them next to Kurumu. "I shouldn't eat them all just yet. I'm sure Kurumu-Chan went to a lot of work to make these for me, and probably wants to give them to me while she confesses her undying love for me!" Gin grinned, his tail wagging behind him. A few more second's went by as a far away look appeared in Gin's eyes.
The door to the club room opened again as Moka walked into the room. She saw Gin taking his jacket off while staring at Kurumu. "What are you doing Gin-Senpei?" Moka asked, looking between him and Kurumu's sleeping form.
"Why my dear lovely Moka-San I was coming to see how the newspaper was coming along, and saw oh so sweet Kurumu-San's sleeping form. I thought she looked rather cold and was going to lay my jacket over her to help keep her warm. As a gentleman I wouldn't want you ladies freezing while I'm around." Gin said, laying his jacket over Kurumu.
Moka gave him a blank stare.
The door to the room opened again. Yukari wasn't looking as she walked into Moka's behind. Making them fall over into a very provocative position of Yukari hands on Moka's boobs with their skirts slid up. Moka expected Gin to begin taking pictures with his usual lecherous grin plastered on, but instead he shocked them all as he turned around with a full body blush.
In shock Yukari slowly got off of Moka.
"A-Are you two decent again?" Gin asked, still turned around.
The dead silence continued as they stared at Gin with a 'What the Fuck' look on their face. At this time Mizore decided to pop in through the ceiling, flashing her panties in front of Gin. Again he shocked them all as he covered his eye's with his hands. "Mizore-San that was rather vulgar of you, showing a young man your panties so easily."
Mizore's jaw dropped. The only sound that could be heard was her sucker hitting the floor.
"Which brings me to the matter of those skirts. They are absolutely to short! With any wrong move you girls would be showing the world your undergarments! These skirt's should at the very shortest go down to your knee's! The morals of the world today I swear." Gin sighed, slowly shaking his head in a disapproving manner.
"Who are you?" Yukari asked, pulling out her wand. "Gin-Sempei would never say something like that. He would be saying the exact opposite of the skirt's being to long."
"How atrocious I would never! Young Yukari-Chan what made you think I would be so sick as to do something so unmoral!" Gin said, appalled at the witch's accusation.
Mizore pulled out the picture's from Gin's back pocket. "These." She said in a , handing him the photo's.
"How did those get there! I must burn these immediately!" Gin said, tearing up his prized collection.
Hearing the sound of something ripping Kurumu woke up. She stretched cracking one eye open. Then blinked when she saw everyone looking at Gin like he had grown a second head. "What's wrong everyone?" She asked.
"I'm burning these here filthy photo's.." Gin said, showing her the remains of the photo's. Kurumu blinked, was this a joke? She shrugged then thought of an idea. "If your going to burn those why don't you burn the entire collection?"
"There's more of these demeaning pictures of women?" Gin asked, looking as if he was completely revolted.
Kurumu was about to break out in laughter, when she noticed the others giving her a serious look. 'Oh my god his not joking! This is perfect I can get back at him for all those times he felt me and Mizore up!' "Yes in fact your room is filled with these photo's. There's also probably a hundred of them hidden on your school uniform alone." She said, winking at Mizore.
Mizore noticed where Kurumu was going with this and grinned. She took out another lollipop from her skirt and began to unwrap it. "Yeah Gin-Senpei you wouldn't want to miss those."
"I must go to my room immediately and throw those demeaning thing's in the incinerator!" Gin said, leaving the room.
"Wait we'll help you!" Kurumu shouted, following him out the room. Mizore took a short cut by A.K.A jumping out the window.
"What just happened?" Tsukune asked, still completely confused by recent events.
"It, It worked..." Yukari said.
"What worked Yukari-Chan?" Moka asked.
"My new Kokoro Hensen Satou! A type of sugar I invented in case Kurumu ever succeeded in giving Tsukune-San cookies!" Yukari said.
"Kokoro Hensen Satou? Mind Change Sugar? Yukari-Chan what were you trying to change my mind for?" Tsukune asked.
"Isn't it obvious! So that you would become more manly and then...(giggles) You would finally start the polygamy orgy plan!" Yukari said, a bit of drool running down her chin. Image's of Tsukune in his vampire form as he finally claimed them popped into her mind. Blood gushed out of her nose as the image's progressed. The major blood loss making her faint.
"Yukari-chan!" Tsukune and Moka shouted, both of their faces flushed in embarrassment.
After Yukari regained consciousness Moka remembered something Yukari said that was a bit off and asked, "Yukari-chan what did you mean by the polygamy orgy plan? I thought you only wanted a threesome between me and Tsukune-kun..."
"Well after what we heard from Fanfan about the polygamy..." 'I can't believe I didn't think of it before...' "I got to thinking..." Yukari said. "Also if Tsukune joined the mafia that would be so cool! Him as a mafia hit man and us as his.. (giggles)" Yukari began another her usual perverted giggle fits with a trickle of blood running out of her nose, before fainting again from blood loss.
Tsukune and Moka sweat dropped. "Sometimes I wonder if she's really only eleven..." Tsukune said.
"Yeah..." Moka said.
"How long do you think it will be until Gin-Sempei goes back to normal?" Kurumu whispered in Mizore's ear.
"Hopefully not until we've burnt all these photo's. I can't wait to see his face when he sees his prized collection gone." Mizore whispered back.
Kurumu giggled, hefting the box she was caring. "I can't believe he had enough photo's to take up three big boxes. I swear his room was made out of them." Kurumu snorted in disgust.
"It's Gin-Sempei I was expecting more." Mizore said in matter-a-fact way.
"What are you two ladies talking about?" Gin asked ahead of them.
"Nothing!" They both shouted. Following Gin the rest of the way to the incinerator in silence.
Gin tossed in the first box of perverted pictures. Kurumu and Mizore began to cheer as the photo's slowly burnt away. Gin took the next box from Mizore and threw it in as well. Gin was about to take the last box when Kurumu said, "Wait I want to take a picture!" Then pulled out a camera.
Kurumu quickly snapped as many photo's as she could as Gin tossed in the last box of his perverted collection. As the last few started to burn the faraway look receded as Gin turned back to normal. He looked around in confusion, then looked into the incinerator to see one of his photo's almost gone.
"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! MY PRECIOUS'S!!" A wolf's howls of pain could be heard throughout the school, making many of the female student's happy. His hand burnt as he pulled the half burnt picture out of the fire. Tears streamed down his face as he cradled the burnt picture of a girls smile. "My poor, poor precious... What cold hearted person would do such a thing!" Gin cried, glaring around the area.
Kurumu showed Gin the already developed picture of him throwing them into the incinerator. More tears streamed down Gin's face as he went into Fidel position whispering soothing words to the burnt picture.
Mizore took the camera from Kurumu and began snapping more picture's of the broken Gin as he petted the picture as if it was a pet. "Let's go show these to the others." She said.
"You know I thought I would laugh, but this is just sad." Kurumu sighed.
Mizore shrugged. "I still think he deserved it."
"Kurumu-chan, Mizore-chan!" Gin whined, latching onto them his hands rubbing their boobs on reflex.
"You know I was beginning to feel sorry for him, but now I totally agree with you." Kurumu said, veins bulging on her forehead. Her fingernails beginning to elongate.
Mizore nodded in agreement as her ice claws began to form.
"AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!" Another howl of pain was hear, making the entire female population within the school cheer.
Ruby walked into the Newspaper Club room to see what Tsukune and the others were up to. She walked in to see a very happy Kurumu and Mizore, who were showing some photo's to Yukari. Siting off to the side was Tsukune and Moka who were just smiling at the entire situation. In a corner of the room that oozed gloominess was a perverted wolf curled up in ball in a pool of his own tears, mumbling to himself.
"Hey guys what happened?" Ruby asked.
"Ruby-san!" Yukari chirped, running over and hugging the older witch.
"Take a look at these baby's." Kurumu grinned, holding up a few of the photo's.
Ruby took the photo's and looked at them. They were pictures of Gin burning his own collection, and what happened after. Ruby's mood brightened immediately. "Let me guess you had a hand in this didn't you Yukari-chan?"
"Yep!" Yukari smiled.
Ruby smiled back as she said, "Many many things have happened..."