Quoth the River
By Vifetoile
Disclaimer: First of all, I wrote this before the comics confirmed that Zoe is, in fact, pregnant (or so I read.) So it has no intentional relationship to whatever canon the comics count as.
Also, I don't own Firefly.
Enjoy!
Serenity was in autopilot. As she cruised gently through the black, the little mad pilot sat crosslegged on the floor of the cockpit. Her eyes were closed.
Zoe was not very surprised to find River in this attitude. But she tapped her lightly on the shoulder. "Dinner's ready." Zoe took a step back, preparing to turn around –
"You miss him."
It wasn't a question. It rarely was, with River. Zoe looked hard at the form on the cockpit floor. River turned around, her black elf-locks straying on her shoulder.
"Yes. I do."
River nodded. "So do I. But not as intensely as you do."
"I'm not sure that's possible." Zoe looked away from the intense dark eyes, at the familiar little plastic dinosaurs that Kaylee had superglued to the steering board. A clumsy, Mesozoic monument.
"He was always friendly to me. He let me play with the dinosaurs."
Zoe gave a small smile. She nodded.
River looked out towards the incoming globe. "Coming up on the rings of the planet Hecate in about two hours. Have to do some careful maneuvering."
"You better take some dinner." Zoe pointed out.
"Not hungry. Not yet. Probably will be in about ten minutes."
"You sure do know a lot." Zoe turned towards the door, but stopped. "Do you know if there's a heaven?"
"There's no proof, Shepherd's Bible notwithstanding. Book has too many logical fallacies to be taken at face value." River started to get up.
"Mm. Comforting."
"'Tell this soul with sorrow laden, if within the distant Aidenn, he may clasp a radiant maiden whom the angels name, "Lenore!"'"
Zoe turned around. River's eyes were bright, and she spoke with a passionate, desperate undercurrent to her words. "Isn't that some poem?" Zoe asked, trying to bring her back to solid ground.
"'Clasp a rare and radiant raven whom the angels name, "Lenore?" Quoth the Raven…'"
"What do I look like, a goddamn fortune teller?" Zoe provided her own answer.
"'… "Nevermore."'" Despite the interruption, River finished the quotation with a final, chilling whisper.
Zoe refused to be chilled. "Very nice. Maybe you can recite it at dinner." Insistently she stepped towards the door.
"You're hungry."
"Yes, I am."
"I don't know if there's an afterlife," River blurted. "I don't know. It feels like – one of the few things – I don't know." She looked up at Zoe again. "But he's not gone."
She took Zoe's silence as a cue to go on. She gestured at the dinosaurs, grazed the pilot's chair. "When I sit here, I feel him everywhere. His laughter, his concentration, skill." She smiled. "When I walk past your bunk, I can feel his memory floating up, like an old perfume." She gestured towards Zoe herself. "Even touching you – you're swathed in his love."
Tears – tears Zoe hadn't allowed herself in weeks – came to Zoe's eyes. She brushed them away briskly with her hand. "That's very kind, River."
"It's true."
"I know. You don't speak what's not true."
"That's not true." River stepped closer to Zoe and put one hand on her shoulder. "He continues. In you."
Zoe's grandmother had said something like that once, about her grandfather. "You mean in my memory," she said softly.
"No." River put one hand on Zoe's stomach. "He lives in you."
Zoe's jaw dropped. Before she could properly form a sentence, River tripped down the stairs towards the dining room. She gaily smiled at Zoe. "Come to dinner. You're hungry."
Zoe followed, dumbly. She said very little throughout dinner. The next thing she could remember saying was to the Captain. He had asked if she had a spare minute. Her answer: "Not now, Captain. I've got something urgent to attend to."
Her footsteps sounded loudly on the metal grilles heading towards the medical station. Simon, recording in his log in the lounge outside the station, stood up when he saw her. "Zoe, is something wrong?"
"Simon," she said, trying to keep her voice level, "I want you to do a test on me."
"What sort of test?" Simon asked, opening up the med station doors already.
Zoe paused, wondering how best to phrase this. She glanced up at Simon's dark, confused eyes. Then she stood up straight, and couldn't hold back a smile when she said, "I might be pregnant."
River smiled, unseen by any. Then she skipped and spun to the cockpit, where she and Serenity danced together over the gold and orange rings of Hecate.