A/N: Written for Tricksyxoxo on Tumblr.
Prompt: Awkward sexual situations
Summary: Sam and Gabriel are injured and stranded. They learn more about each other than they expected. Lots of emotions. Awkward, but also slightly angsty. Sex. Some wing!kink. Sabriel.
Imperfect
Sam had known of his feelings towards Gabriel for a while now. He wasn't Dean. He knew his own mind. He knew what the flickers of nervousness and joy whenever he spoke to the archangel meant, there had always been chemistry between the two of them, but now he knew it was something more. Ever since TV land, when Gabriel had become an official member of Team Free Will, Sam had began to learn little things about Gabriel that made him realise there was more than one side to him, an unseen depth.
Sam had to admit that at first he had passed it off as attraction and curiosity, after all, the guy had been terrible to him. He supposed that was his self-destructive tendency coming out to play. Then there was that fact that he was a dude. Sam wasn't gay, he never seen anything at all attractive in men before and he'd never even had sex with a guy, let alone fall in love with one. It wasn't that he had a problem with it, living Sam's lifestyle kind of put things like homophobia into perspective, it was just surprising. Finally there was the archangel thing. Sam, with his ruined, blood-soaked, evil soul, could never ever hope to deserve anything but contempt from someone as divine as an angel, even one like Gabriel.
The truth is, despite everything, he wanted to discover the layers of the archangel's personality that made him so much more. He wanted to know Gabriel, every inch of him, what made him happy, what he loved, hated, what made him angry, what made him cry, know how to make him laugh, how to get him to drop the trickster mask, how to share silence with him, how to draw gasps from his lips, where to touch him, what to say, how to love him. Sam hadn't really thought he'd ever get that opportunity, especially not in the middle of the apocalypse…
The world was crushing Sam. Everything was so fast, too fast. Sound blurred into colour and voices were swallowed by screams. He could feel the floor tilting sideways and his feet staggered blindly before gravity overwhelmed him. Somewhere in the distance Dean was yelling. His frantic shouts pushed through the confusion and lit a spark deep in the oldest, most primal part of Sam's brain. Struggling keep his eyes open, Sam desperately tried to focus on the cruel demented form that was hurtling into his field of vision. He blindly rolled out of the way just in time and for a split second hazel eyes met black.
They swallowed him.
Deep penetrating ice filled his soul and this time he knew there was no fighting unconsciousness. Moments before colour faded entirely and silence muffled sound, brilliant white light flooded through the room, blowing out windows, blasting away the demons, creating and destroying, wrathful and yet loving, shattering the ice and filling Sam with the warmth of an ancient voice, its cries echoing in glorious song. The last thing Sam saw before his eyes finally closed was a pair of wings, flared in defiance, shadowed on the wall behind Gabriel's blazing silhouette.
Sam dreamed of a golden light. It was warm and safe, surrounding him like an embrace. It shivered in waves of humming power, almost as if it were alive, and he was utterly content. The soft ripples were almost like a lover's caress, comforting, just short of pleasurable. Vague concerns pushed at the back of his mind. Dean. Demons. Pain.
But none of that mattered here. He imagined that the only other place a human could feel so protected, so utterly content and perfectly provided for was in their mother's womb. Never again after that would any human be unburdened of discomfort or emotion. But now…now…he could barely even remember what pain felt like. Bliss had always seemed like such an abstract concept to him, but here, now, it was tangible, personified in this glorious light. Sam never wanted to leave; if he ever did he would surely spend the rest of his life searching to relive this sensation…
Of course, it couldn't last. The warmth was already receding. His ears were filled with a rushing sensation and it was as if his head had suddenly emerged from water. A familiar voice was whispering to him.
"Sam…Sam…"
He knew that voice, and with it came a tidal wave of emotion. Hatred, anger, frustration…but also forgiveness and compassion, fondness, love. The light was suddenly like fog, blocking his sight and clouding his thoughts, he needed clear air and sharp reality.
Sam was falling out of his dream and onto soft, slightly damp sheets which clung to his sweat coated skin. His body was suddenly on fire. He felt as though he was burning with a fever and even his breath was too hot in his mouth, his head throbbed with pain. He squirmed against the tangle of blankets. Then a surprisingly gentle hand was pressed against his forehead and he groaned as cool relief flushed away the heat.
He tried to say thank you but it came out as a garbled mess of a sound.
"Woah, easy there kiddo, not so fast."
Sam opened his eyes, squinting in the sudden onrush of light, and looked blearily around him. He was lying in a hotel room - something a lot fancier than the grotty motels he and Dean usual occupied but quite a lot smaller than what he would have expected - decorated in stylish earth tones, an expensive looking glass table, a leather sofa and a flat screen TV on the wall opposite the king size bed he was currently lying in.
Finally he looked over at the deceptively small angel sat in a chair next to the bed.
"Gabriel," he rasped.
"Hey kiddo," Gabriel replied with a slight smirk. He reached over to the bedside table and handed Sam a glass of water. Sam accepted it wordlessly and only stopped to look surprised when Gabriel wrapped his arm around Sam's back and supported him upright so he could swallow without choking. That seemed a little too friendly but Gabriel was all gold eyes and sincerity at the moment. Sam decided not to read anything into it and gulped the water down, draining the glass.
"What happened, where are we?" He asked, his voice still a little rough.
Gabriel sighed, glancing down for a moment and chewing his lip, looking uncharacteristically solemn. It suddenly hit Sam how different Gabriel looked. His clothes were still covered in dried blood and torn from what looked like knife slashes and he looked tired, his usual bravado thin enough to reveal badly hidden exhaustion. His gold eyes still glowed with that otherworldly spark of knowledge and mischief but they were slightly dimmer than usual. If something big enough to knock an archangel off kilter had happened then Sam was worried.
"Do you remember the demons?" Gabriel asked at last.
"Yeah," Sam nodded. "We were getting pretty close to Pestilence and then…"
"Things went to hell. Literally. Some of Michael's lackeys showed up. I-" Gabriel's voice faltered. "I had to kill them…my brothers. Anyway, the big-ass angel fight alerted every supernatural nasty in a hundred mile radius of where we were and I just managed to get you out before Lucifer arrived."
Sam's eyes went wide and he struggled to sit up in his panic, "Dean! Cas!"
"They're fine! They're safe!" Gabriel hurriedly continued, pushing Sam back down onto the mattress with a disgruntled shove. Sam let out a relieved sigh and stopped resisting, letting his eyes fall shut for a moment.
"Wow…I'm really not built for moose wrestling…" Sam heard Gabriel mutter to himself as he sat back down, clearly trying to regain his usual air of amused superiority.
"Where are they?" Sam demanded.
"Cas took Dean back to the motel, I agreed to take you somewhere safe. If you're really interested we're actually in England, one of my awesome batcaves in…"
Sam began to lose focus on Gabriel's sudden monologue. As the archangel lifted his arms to make various gestures his jacket parted and revealed an ugly red gash running the length of Gabriel's abdomen. If he was human he would have been gutted. White light, tinged was gold, seeped out of the wound. Sam was suddenly reminded of the light in his dreams and he realised it was Gabriel's grace, his power, his true form, leaking out through the wound. Gabriel had been injured by an angel blade.
Suddenly Sam understood the tiredness and the suspicious lack of magic tricks. Gabriel wasn't just grieving for his younger brothers that he'd killed in the fight, he was actually physically injured. Sam didn't know a lot about angel blades but he was pretty sure being run through by one would take quite a lot out of you, even if you were an archangel.
Gabriel's voice faded away as he realised Sam wasn't listening to him but looking down at his abdomen.
"Sasquatch, I know I'm a damn fine piece of ass, but there's no need to stare," he said slowly, subtly covering the wound with his folded arms.
"You're injured," Sam pointed out, not really in the mood for Gabriel's games.
"Ten points to Ravenclaw," Gabriel said dryly.
"Quit messing around," Sam protested, struggling to sit up against the headboard. This time Gabriel made no move to help him. "We're in the middle of the apocalypse Gabriel, can you even use your grace right now?"
Gabriel grimaced. "Yeah..." He muttered, looking disinterested…or attempting to look disinterested to draw attention away from his weakness, it was hard to tell. At last he seemed to accept his newfound fallibility.
"Okay so…say you have a concussion, which you do, and say I won't be able to heal you in a bit because I will be unconscious and if I heal you now I'll black out, do I heal you now?"
Sam tilted his head sideways, confused.
"What the hell are you talking about? How badly injured are you?"
Gabriel seemed to be stalling, he was fidgeting with his shirt, pulling it away from his skin where the blood clung to his abdomen. Suddenly a change came over him and a blank mask, similar to the one Castiel's face was normally set in, shielded whatever crap he was thinking about from Sam. It was cold and alien, less trickster, more archangel, as distant as heaven and utterly, completely not Gabe. This was St Gabriel the Archangel.
"The wound has damaged my grace. I'm weak. I can't fly, I can't fight, hell, I can barely even stand up. If I don't heal you, you could take a turn for the worst after I inevitably pass out. If I do heal you I will pass out straight away and you will be stranded here for however long it takes for me to replenish my grace."
Sam nodded. Both options seemed equally bad.
"Is there no a Plan C?" Sam asked hesitantly. Gabriel was still strangely blank. He took a moment to run his hands tiredly over his face before nodding.
"I won't ask you to do it though…"Gabriel said slowly, a hint of danger in the undertones of his voice. Sam leaned forward.
"Why? What is it? He asked. He needed to get back to Dean, needed to see that he and Cas were okay. Damn Gabriel for bringing him here instead of the motel, the dude just had to make things more difficult.
"Sam, Sam, Sam…the only other way to power up angel juice is to expose it to a direct energy source: a human soul. I would need to reach inside your body and touch your soul, okay?"
Sam's immediate reaction was Hell No. No fucking way was the guy who made him witness his brother's death hundreds of times over going to get anywhere near his soul. No one was going near his soul. Why would anyone even want to get near the mangled remains of that twisted, black, 'abomination' anyway? But then…Gabriel was on their side now, and Sam was starting to think, beneath around fifty layers of doubt, that Gabriel would actually be careful with his soul. He did really need to see Dean…damn it, fine.
"I'll do it," Sam said eventually, it wasn't like his soul was worth much anyway. He'd probably be better off without it altogether.
"Sam, it'll be the most excruciating thing you've ever felt," Gabriel warned, but whatever was making him opposed to the idea seemed to be failing, along with the last of his energy. Sam couldn't help but notice that the archangel was slumped a little more now, leaning against the edge of the bed, breathing unevenly, a loose, blood soaked strand of hair falling over his forehead and smudging blood above his eyebrow. Most worryingly, a fresh red stain was spreading outwards from his wound, rapidly soaking his shirt.
"Gabriel, you're bleeding again! Just do it!" Sam demanded, panicking.
"I'll be able to see into your mind, your private thoughts, emotions, memories. Everything you don't want me to see. Do. I. Have. Your. Consent?" Gabriel demanded, completely raw now. This was the realest Sam had ever seen him.
He hesitated.
"Okay."
The next few minutes passed in a blur. Gabriel tied Sam's hands and feet to the bed so he couldn't struggle and took off his belt for Sam to bite down on. Sam couldn't help but flinch, his anticipation rising, as Gabriel began to roll up his sleeve, exposing a strong smooth forearm, the soft pale skin and hard line of muscle still appealing to Sam even now. He immediately pushed that thought as far down as he could. Not the time. Never the time.
Without warning Gabriel plunged his arm down through Sam's chest.
The world turned white.
Amidst boiling agony Sam could feel a pressure against a part of himself, deep inside, that he never even knew existed. It clenched tight and suddenly a flood of memories and emotions rushed through the connection. Desperately Sam tried to stop thinking, to stop them from escaping. These were things he had only ever been aware of subconsciously. Thoughts born of self hatred, love, anger, lust…all pouring into the bond between him and Gabriel.
The connection deepened and then he was floating. Blind panic engulfed him as he realised he didn't have a body, he didn't have anything. He was drifting in a sea of pain. He flailed wildly with hands that weren't even real. He caught on to something, the connection. He grabbed it and pulled. Hard.
A powerful sensation overcame him, thoughts and memories that were not his own, ancient…endless…incomprehensible truths that Sam's mind did not have the capacity to accept, let alone understand. Emotions rolled in, one after another, anger at an absent father, hurt at a faithless brother, grief from a warring family…vast, aching grief. Then there was love. A love so strong and painful it felt as though it would tear the world in two. Love for God's creation, love for humanity, love for the joy of just living, the smell of rain, the feel of wind rushing through his hair, the green of forests, the smile of a friend, the moan of a lover, water on a swimmers back, the wobbling heat of summer, the blue frost of winter, chocolate on his tongue, light through the clouds, the lightning in a storm, the stars in the wilderness…and love for Sam. Suppressed, filled with remorse and desire, but love all the same. Dean too, to some extent, but so much stronger for Sam.
The line was suddenly wrenched away and Sam's eyes were flying open.
Gabriel was in love with him.
Gabriel blazed. He was leaning over Sam, almost straddling his waist, and Sam could feel energy rolling off him. His amber eyes were pure white and Sam could barely stand to look into them. The static energy looked like wind whipping around the archangel's frame and despite his height Gabriel looked like a giant from this position. Sam had never felt more vulnerable than he did staring up in awe at this terrible creature. Outside rain was pounding against the window and thunder rolled overhead; a flash of lightning illuminated the room for a spilt second and for the second time that night the dark shadows of two enormous wings fell into sharp contrast against the wall.
Sam, barely thinking about what he was doing, not even noticing that the bonds restraining his hands had turned to ash, reached up to Gabriel's shoulder blades. He felt his hands brush against something soft and he gasped in exhilaration and terror as a bolt of intoxicating power flared through his body. The moment Sam touched the invisible wings Gabriel broke from his trance and swooped down. He pinned Sam back with impossible strength and pressed a hard kiss to his lips. Sam responded desperately, their lips locking together with bruising passion, pushing back against Gabriel's dominance. Gabriel's tongue demanded entry to Sam's mouth and Sam parted his lips. The kiss was deep and a thousand emotions cascaded through him but with the roar in his ears and the dizzying rush of blood through his head he could barely tell one from another.
At last they broke apart, breathing heavily. Sam nearly moaned aloud at the sight of Gabriel above him, with his lips swollen and red, his skin flushed, his back arching slightly with each unsteady breath, his eyes turning molten brown, he looked utterly wrecked. His tongue darted out and, oh god, he licked his lips. Shakily letting go of Sam's arms, leaving two rows of crescents in the skin, he climbed off the hunter and walked over to the window. He looked out at the storm, his back turned, before slowly turning, his face half in shadow.
"You shouldn't have done that Winchester," he murmured, his voice rough.
Sam hauled himself up with a noticeable lack of pain and swung his legs over the side of the bed.
"I-" Sam's voice failed him under the intensity of Gabriel's gaze.
"Angels work under the rule of consent, even Lucifer honours this. You touched my wings without my consent, I held you down and kissed you without your consent. I wish the two were mutually exclusive, morality and all that, but in truth I lost control because you touched me. I'm sorry…for what I did."
"Gabriel," Sam started earnestly, "It's my fault, I shouldn't…shouldn't have. God…don't apologise, it wasn't as if I didn't want you t-to kiss me. God I'm so sorry."
Gabriel's face softened and he walked back over to Sam.
"I'll forgive you if you forgive me," he offered with a shrug. "Apology not retracted."
"Forgiven," Sam said instantly and Gabriel smiled, his eyes kinder than usual. He walked cautiously over to the bed.
"So…are we gonna pretend that didn't just happen or are we gonna talk Sasquatch, 'cause I know you saw some pretty interesting things inside my head and that seems pretty unfair considering I blocked you so the only thing I saw from your end involved a stripper and some itching powder…" Gabriel teased. There was an underlying seriousness to his voice though and he was looking intensely at Sam, walking closer until he was looked down directly at him. Sam noted, amused, that Gabriel was still only several inches taller.
"Gabriel," Sam began, nervously grasping at the bed sheets and feeling slightly vulnerable in only his shirt and boxers – his groin jerked slightly at the idea that Gabriel had removed his jeans. "Can we…do that again?"
Gabriel's eyes sparked with mischief. Sam noticed that his aura of white energy was slowly fading, leaving his hair ruffled and a rakish expression on his flushed face. He leaned down and, god, Sam could feel the warmth of his breath on his parted lips.
"What, this?" Gabriel smirked, and he leaned in to close the space between them. Their lips slid together sensually and, unlike the first kiss, slowly. The pressure that Gabriel applied was soft and hot and wet. His lips were sinfully clever, sweet with obvious tenderness but rough enough to light a flame inside Sam, he had to use every ounce of his sexual experience to keep up.
Sam stifled a moan as Gabriel's hands went to his hair, pushing his fingers deep down to the roots and pulling. Sam's hands went almost involuntarily to Gabriel's waist and pulled him roughly onto his lap, then they slid upwards to his shoulders and pulled him forwards until they were pressed together. Desperate now, their kiss was becoming frantic, the flames spreading through Sam's chest, down to his hardening groin, up to his head, making it burn, causing smoke to cloud his thoughts, his hips bucked upwards, Gabriel moaned into his mouth, ground back down, their tongues clashed, their foreheads banged together…
"Ow!" They both yelped, springing apart. Gabriel nearly toppled off Sam's lap and had to grab the closest object to save his fall which happened to be Sam's neck.
"Shit!" Sam groaned as his head was dragged downwards. He was embarrassed, in pain and still aroused by the tiny lithe form of the golden angel staring sheepishly down at him.
"Sorry Sammy."
"It's okay."
There was a pause.
"We should probably get in a better position, that is…if um, if you- if you want to- y'know…" Sam trailed off, avoiding eye contact with the archangel that was still awkwardly straddling his thighs.
"Test the mattress? Do the horizontal conga? Fuck like bunnies?"
"Yeah, yeah, that," Sam cut in quickly, realising a little too late that the angel had subtly began rolling his hips against Sam's erection. He tried not to flush and hurriedly pushed Gabriel off his lap. Gabriel followed him onto the bed and immediately settled on top of Sam in a rough approximation of missionary.
"Tell me what you want Sam…" he murmured, his voice suddenly low and serious again. He pressed quick pecks to Sam's mouth and then began to move downwards, trailing shivery kisses down his neck, brushing his lips over Sam's pulse, attacking the skin with little licks and sucks and bites. This time Sam couldn't help but moan aloud.
"Fuck Gabriel, I want you. I want to see you come apart, to see you break, to see you lose control as you come in my hand…"
Sam had never had sex with a man before but he knew how this game was played. He quickly changed their position so that his leg was rubbing up between Gabriel's thighs; was rewarded by a sharp intake of breath over his neck and then Gabriel was everywhere. His kiss was deep and desperate, grabbing in fraught desperation at Sam's clothes, tugging at the fruitlessly before vanishing them with a frustrated sigh.
Gabriel worked his way downwards. Each nipple was rewarded with long licks and bites; Sam's slim abdomen was peppered with tiny marks; his hipbones especially were subject to several long minutes of torture.
At last, when Sam was so hard he thought he could probably come just from a look from Gabriel's almost-black eyes alone, those wet, clever lips closed around the head of his cock.
"Oh…ugh…fu-YES" Sam's hips jerked upwards, involuntarily pushing his cock to the back of the archangel's throat. Gabriel slipped off again, grinning upwards, and lapped his tongue teasingly at the slit.
"Garr…" Sam groaned unintelligibly. His eyes rolled backward and his head fell with a quiet thump against the headboard. His mouth had fallen open and his breath was coming out in sharp uneven pants, his hips fucking upwards, trying to gain more friction.
He almost died when that fucking sinful tongue began to swirl over the sensitive underside, licking up and down the shaft, then finally, finally, encasing him entirely in warmth. He watched as Gabriel's golden head begin to bob eagerly up and down. Sam could feel his orgasm building and he forced himself upwards so he could see from a better angle.
Gabriel was grinding down onto the mattress in an awkward, stuttering rhythm. His hands were gripping tightly onto Sam's hips and he seemed to be trying to halt himself. Sam realised with a choked moan that Gabriel was trying to stop and hold out for him but he was too far gone. With that thought in his mind Sam thrust upwards and came hard in Gabriel's mouth with a shout. His eyes rolled backwards and his hands buried themselves in his lover's hair as wave after wave of pleasure overcame him.
When he came back down Gabriel was climbing up to him looking faintly embarrassed. He was breathless and looked pretty fucked out. He lay exhausted next to Sam, breathing into his neck.
"Sorry kiddo, you got to me harder than I expected I guess," Gabriel muttered against his skin. Sam trailed his fingers up and down his angel's spine, delighting in the goosebumps that shadowed them.
"Good to know I have that affect on you," Sam teased, quietly letting Gabriel know that he didn't mind.
"Hey," Sam started, changing the subject. "Earlier, straight after you touched my soul, I felt your wings. Could that, y'know, happen again?"
Gabriel looked up, surprised.
"You want to see my wings?"
"Is that okay? Is that possible now?" Sam asked quickly. Gabriel nodded slowly but looked slightly hesitant.
"An angel's wings are a part of their true form, to touch another's wings is pretty intimate kiddo. But…um, I don't mind. If you want…"
"Please?" Sam responded, curiosity and excitement rising. Gabriel nodded again and turned onto his front. Sam sat up and shuffled backwards so he was kneeling next to him. The air began to shift and warp; Sam felt his hairs rise with static. Then a deep ringing sound, clear and beautiful, echoed faintly as a white light began to radiate from the angel.
"I can't show you them directly," Gabriel said into the pillow. "But I can show you them in contrast with the light."
A dark shape formed in the centre of the light and slowly began to focus into the form of a pair of huge wings, sprouting from underneath Gabriel's shoulder blades and extending into invisibility, well past the edge of the light. If Sam had to guess he'd say that their wingspan was probably over twelve feet.
"This is their size in proportion with my body," Gabriel said lightly, seemingly reading Sam's mind. "They're actually a lot more impressive than these babies."
"Show off," he whispered absentmindedly, his voice suddenly taken with awe. He reached out hesitantly and pushed his hand through the white light. The first touch made spark's fly up his arm, electricity crackling. Foreign emotions combined with his own and heightened, mixing until the two felt like a single entity. Sam gasped and used both his hands to stroke the soft downy feathers near the joint underneath Gabriel's shoulders. Gabriel writhed beneath his touch. The experience was becoming overwhelming for both sides.
Suddenly, as Sam's hands brushed down the stronger secondary feathers, Gabriel turned, barely missing Sam's head with his wing. He gazed up at Sam, fitting into his arms perfectly and Sam's hand stilled suddenly. The archangel's eyes were glistening with tears, his pupils held traces of white and he was gazing at Sam with such sadness and longing and love.
"It has been so long," Gabriel said in a low tone, his voice wavering slightly.
"I'm here, I'm here, I'm here…" Sam whispered, repeating himself in a whispered chant as he pulled the shaking angel into a strong embrace, resuming his touch, slightly harder now.
"Touch me just under the base of the shoulder joint," Gabriel whispered. Sam brushed his fingers backwards against the direction of the feathers until he reached under the joint. He pressed his fingers into the gap and Gabriel cried out into his shoulder.
He was shaking as he pulled away from Sam but the usual gleam was returning to his eyes.
"Round two," He said hurriedly, conjuring a bottle and grinning shakily. "And we're doing it properly this time."
Sam smiled back. Dean could wait another half hour.