Authors' note: I was originally going to make this similar to Hope, Volume 2 but then decided to write something from Carlisle's perspective. Yes, there is still a song in the story but the story isn't necessarily built around the song.
I, unfortunately, do not own Carlisle or Edward nor any other aspect of Twilight.
I also do not own Slept So Long.
They belong to Stephanie Meyer and Jay Gordon, respectfully.
Enjoy guys and let me know what you think!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Restraint
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edward barged into my office, catching me slightly off guard. I had heard him stomping through the house but I didn't exactly expect him to come straight into my office. He looked…angry. Beyond angry actually, did Emmett do something to his music collection – again?
I set my pen down; the report for the hospital could wait. I waited patiently for him to calm down a bit, though Jasper seemed to be helping with that quite nicely.
"What's wrong, Edward? The last time I saw you this angry, you left us for four years. I really don't plan on having the same thing happen again."
I waited for Edward to speak. He didn't; he only turned back around and stomped his way up to his room on the third floor. Sighing, I went back to writing that report for the hospital. He would tell me what was wrong eventually, he always did. He would tell me every time that he didn't want to say anything too rash or hurtful.
I paused in my writing for a moment. There was something very wrong with Edward; beyond the scale of the last time he left us. I had never heard Edward blast his music that loudly or even play that sort of music. He had always been more of a Classical and Jazz kind of man.
I left my office and went upstairs to his room. I stopped outside his door; it was…Heavy Metal? Is that what they called this kind of music? I didn't bother entering his room; again, when he would talk when he was ready to. Edward seemed to be frantically searching for a particular song. He would listen to each song for a few moments and then go on to the next one. He apparently found the one he was looking for. This song had a particularly sensual beat to it; it was kind of entrancing.
Walking
Waiting
Alone
without a care
Hoping Did you think it's cool I see hell in your eyes Walking
And
hating
Things that I can't bear
To
walk right up
To take my life
And fuck it up
Well did
you?
Well did you?
Taken in by
surprise (surprise)
Touching you makes me feel alive
Touching
you makes me die inside
Waiting Did you think it's cool I hate you! I
see hell in your eyes I've
slept so long without you I've slept so
long without you I see hell in your eyes
Alone
without a care
Hoping
And hating
Things that I can't
bear
To walk right up
To take my
life
And fuck it up
Well did you?
Taken in by surprise
And touching you
makes me feel alive
Touching you makes me die inside
It's tearing me apart too
How'd it
get this far
Playing games with this old heart
I've killed a
million petty souls
But I couldn't kill you
Taken in by
surprise
Touching you makes me feel alive
Touching you makes me
die inside…
The song had ended; I was…surprised by the apparent intensity of Edwards' anger. Again, even when he left Esme and I for those four years, he was never this angry. What had happened at school today? He turned his stereo off; I contemplated knocking instead of just barging in.
"You know Carlisle, I don't bite." He laughed, almost callously.
I took that as an invitation to enter. I poked my head in at first and looked around to where he was sitting. He was on his couch; I shut the door softly and went to sit next to him.
"Now that you seem to have calmed down at least a little bit, do you mind telling me why you're so angry?" He looked around his room unhurriedly before answering.
"I'm leaving. I don't expect everyone to pack up and leave with me but I am. I can't stay here; I'll probably be back soon enough. I need time to think; Alaska sounds nice." I blinked rapidly at his response, only because I was surprised.
"Why is that; what has happened?" He couldn't leave; there weren't many things worth leaving your family behind for. He laughed again, before staring off into the trees.
"Isabella - excuse me, Bella Swan. If I stay here, that girl will be my undoing. I swear that she is a Demon straight from Hell, sent here to torment me."
Ah. I see now.
"Is she that tempting that you would leave us again?" I asked softly.
Edward sighed dejectedly.
"You don't understand, Carlisle. It took all of my carefully built self control not to kill her. I cannot go back to Forks High School just yet. If I do, we will have to leave and we will never be able to come back. I like this place too much to let that happen. That girl…" He trailed off.
I nodded; I did understand. Emmett and Jasper had experienced the same thing; we had to move and very quickly. It took years for people to…forget what had happened and even then, we still couldn't go back.
"You have to remember, Emmett and Jasper have gone through the same thing and just because I have not experienced this for myself does not mean that I do not understand. This just proves to me that you do have enough control - you managed not to kill her. Go ahead, take my car. Just be safe and come home soon." I stared him in the eyes and did not let him look away until he acknowledged this fact.
I handed him the keys to my car and then moved to get his suitcase.
"I'll help you pack. Also, make sure that you say goodbye to everyone before you go – especially Esme and Alice." I requested; he nodded slowly and folded some of his clothes. I took the clothes from him and packed them away into the suitcase.
He had packed a weeks' worth of clothing; this was a good sign, he didn't plan on being away for very long. Only just enough time to think and sort things out. He hoisted the suitcase up and began to walk out of his bedroom. I grabbed his shoulder.
"You know, Edward – I am proud of you. I'm expecting you back at the end of a week." He nodded slowly again and left his room. He was off to say his goodbyes to the family; I knew that Esme would worry endlessly until he returned home and Alice would…well, Alice wouldn't quite be Alice until he returned. She would miss him terribly so; I would be surprised if she lasted the week before Jasper would have to intervene.
I looked around his room carefully. He had carefully built his self control and the walls around his heart; he hid behind his music and studies. I sighed; change was coming and hopefully it was for the best.
Fin.