Um, yeah, when I get angry I write parody. And I have a strange sense of humour.

Harry Potter

19 years later

Neville looked sadly at all the gravestones. 3 years after you last tuned in Voldemort came back and killed everyone who we'd just seen happy and surviving. It was really sad and stuff, but Neville didn't mind really because he got together with Hermione who, as the first girl we saw him speaking to, was obviously his true love (except not really because his first true love had died but whatever).

And they all lived happily ever after!

Cinderella

"The shoe fits!" the prince cried, happy at last he had found his one true love, "we will get married tomorrow!"

Suddenly Cinderella dropped down dead of a completely unexplained and glossed over illness.

"Oh well," said the Prince, "I'll marry one of the ugly stepsisters instead. It's only right, I mean they thought they loved me and they saw me first."

And they all lived happily ever after!

The Wizard of Oz

"And oh Auntie Em," Dorothy cried, "there really is no place like home!"

Auntie Em smiled and hugged her.

"Ok, I'm leaving now," said Dorothy.

"What? Why?" asked Auntie Em.

"I'm running away like at the beginning of the movie."

"But wasn't the whole movie about learning that isn't what you actually want?"

"Pssht learning," said Dorothy, "that's for losers." And ran away never to be seen again!

And they all lived happily ever after!

Frozen

Elsa raised her hands and a beautiful ice rink was formed.

Suddenly everyone booed her.

"How dare you be different, woman!" they all cried.

"Wait, what?" said Elsa, "I thought you guys accepted me!"

"Nah, despite the entire message of this film, we actually don't like women who are different and don't just settle down and have children."

Then they chased her out of the country so she lived a sad and depressing life alone.

And they all lived happily ever after!

Romeo and Juliet

Romeo entered the tomb and saw Juliet lying there. Dead.

"Oh no," he said, but then he actually looked at her, she was pretty ugly now she was dead and he was scared she would start smelling. Despite this whole soulmate thing I'm not sure I actually loved her much, he thought to himself, it's actually quite useful she's dead.

Suddenly Juliet woke up.

"Oh no!" said Romeo, "I'd just decided I don't want you anymore, I'm leaving you and planning to pine over Rosaline again."

"Oh ok," said Juliet completely devoid of the character she'd had even a scene ago, "what should I do then?"

"Do you mind dying again?" asked Romeo, "I mean it was much more convenient that way."

"Ok!" said Juliet, stabbing herself as Romeo ran out to find Rosaline.

And they all lived happily ever after!

Twilight

Suddenly Edward exploded into a ball of dust because he'd been hanging out in the sun and he was a vampire. I know I said before that vampires don't explode but sparkle in the sunlight but whatever, the plot demands he explodes now.

So I decided to marry Mike Newton instead. After all, he had a crush on me the first day we met so it was pretty much destiny we ended up together.

And we all lived happily ever after!

Pride and Prejudice

3 years later

"Darcy, you have regressed to the horrible person you first were when I met you," Lizzie complained in a judgemental way like she was at the beginning of the book.

"I think we should get a divorce," said Darcy, without arguing.

"Ok cool," said Lizzie, "I think I'll hang round sad for a while until Lydia dies and then get back together with Wickham."

So they divorced with no further explanation, Darcy walked round the world sad until he knocked someone up and got complete emotional fulfilment.

And they all lived happily ever after!

A Christmas Carol

Suddenly Scrooge took away all the nice things he'd just given people after all his character development.

"But why?" asked Tiny Tim sadly.

"People don't change ever, no matter what happens in the course of a story" snapped Scrooge as happily watched some orphans freeze to death.

And they all lived happily ever after!

The Hungry Caterpillar

On Sunday the caterpillar built himself a cocoon.

Then he died in the cocoon, because actually that's pretty realistic because lots of caterpillars die and you clearly want a story that's true to life.

And they all lived happily ever after!

Emma

Emma and Knightly were very happy travelling around the country.

Suddenly, they realised they had no wifi in the inn tehy were staying in (mostly because it hadn't been invented yet).

"Let's get divorced!" Knightly said.

"Yay!" said Emma (because they were probably having other issues).

So they did.

And they all lived happily ever after!