"Well hello, everybody!" An enthusiastic Mr. Game and Watch happily said on a Saturday morning. Everybody, being the entire brawl and melee cast, murmured a cranky hello on the early morning, not really in the mood to battle for the pleasure of little boys. The only one high on pancake sugar was Sheik. She was always smiling and pleased with whatever Mr. Game and Watch said.
"Good Morning Mr. Game and Watch!" She sang merrily. Sheik was sadly known as bipolar Sheik, or Rainbow thing. First, Sheik would act all happy and cheerful, and in the next five minutes of a conversation with her, she would totally freak out and act like something dirty touched her face. But on the battlefield, Sheik could act like the coolest character of the entire game. As horrible as it is, nobody liked sheik because of her "mental issues". Some people think she wants attention and some people think that she's really mentally ill. Only the Princess Zelda (Sheik's official alter-ego) knows why Sheik is such a "creep", but that only stays between Princess Zelda and Sheik.
Mr. Game and Watch drew in a breath to say hello back to Sheik, but was quickly interrupted by his beeping cell-phone. Reading a text-message, he scanned the group of the tired Smash Brothers, "Pit and Samus." Pit and Samus quickly walked towards the tiny Mr. Game and Watch to hear his message. "You guys are on in Lylat Cruise, two-minute KO. OK?" Pit and Samus both gave exhausted looks at each other, sad that they couldn't refuse the battle. They quickly took out their teleporters and disappeared to Lylat Cruise. Mr. Game and Watch's eyes quickly darted toward Sheik (although he didn't have eyes, you could tell). "You happy today sheik?" Just by the way he spoke, any idiot could tell that he was smiling.
Sheik nodded sweetly.
"That's great!" Mr. Game and Watch continued, "I summoned you all out here in this park because," he paused and whispered sorry, barely within hearing range for the people in the front, "we will be having guests over our apartment!" He tried to be as casual about it; hoping people will take it lightly.
"What?" an angry voice sneered. All eyes darted to Ike, who continued his outburst; "There's not even enough room in your God-Forsaken apartment for Pichu! How do you think we can afford to have guests over?" when Mr. Game and Watch didn't answer, Ike continued, "Bowser is having a hard time cooking with all the little food we have!"
"I agree with Ike!" the sexy prince, Marth said stepping forward, unsheathing his sword.
"You always agree with Ike!" Link hissed
Marth and Ike both gasped. With the threat of tears, Marth threw himself into Ike's burly arms. Ike began to comfort the sensitive blue-haired man, scowling at Link for "bothering" his lover.
Mr. Game and Watch continued his plead, "I've told you guys; everybody these days are buying Halo and Red-Dead Redemption- everybody's forgetting about US! The 'Super Smash Brothers!'" He said with sarcasm. He bravely held back his tears and sniffed them back in, "We're losing money!" A tear of betrayal rolled down his jet-black cartoon features, "The only way that you guys can keep your jobs as a brawler is by living in my apartment." Then his gloomy mood changed to an irritated roar. "But each of you have your own room, I even took you guys out to a park – a park! – today! What else can you brats want?"
"More space!" Link snapped, "That's what we want, and what we don't want is having to share such small space with having a couple of guests over!"
"Shut up, Link!" Roy hissed, "I bet these guests aren't even going to stay for more than one night!" He smirked confidently, and crossed his arms, "Right?"
"Come on guys!" Mr. Game and Watch impatiently said, "I told our guests that you'd love to have them over, and on top of that, I asked them to rendezvous with us in this stinkin' park! That's why you guys are here! They should be arriving at any minute now!" His shoulders sagged, and he breathed out annoyed, "These guys are a part of a traveling freak show!" he sank to his knees, "Freak shows are illegal, so I had to offer my very old friend –pre-school friend- a place to stay while he holds his show!"
"Well," Ganondorf noted, "Like how Roy said, how long are the guests staying over and how many?"
Mr. Game and Watch shifted nervously. "Well… It's…." he stammered. "Around 35 to 40 people."
"What!" Everybody screeched with distaste.
"Please! Everybody! Calm down!" Mr. Game and Watch tried to calm everybody down. "They are only going to stay for a couple of months – the performers are staying with us only! The stage crew isn't! That's only-" he quickly counted aloud, "Ten people! More or less!" He quickly added before things really got crazy.
"Then where are the rest of the Cirque going to be staying at?" Mewtwo retorted, "In the basement?"
"In nearby hotels!" Mr. Game and Watch cried. And with that everybody calmed down, but only just. "But everybody else will be in YOUR rooms!" Everybody's shoulders sagged except for Ike's. He thought that he was too tough to care. He already slept with Marth, his lover. Who else could fit in a dusty twin sized bed?
Samus and Pit came back from their match. Mr. Game and Watched informed both the weary brawlers about the problems the Super Smash Brothers have been discussing.
"What?" Samus yelled. Samus was a truly remarkable bounty hunter. She was hired across the entire galaxy to capture aliens. Ranked among the best space bounty hunters, Samus could make anybody sorry. But not Mr. Game and Watch. "You felt sorry for them because they didn't have a place to stay?" She scoffed, and removed her helmet, revealing a gorgeous face. "We should've voted!" She brushed her blonde hair from her armor, putting it into a high ponytail. Samus resembles a Barbie doll. She's a two-faced bully who's never taken no for an answer, but she's not stupid, and she knows that Mr. Game and Watch will not listen, so she just kept a pout of distaste on her face.
Pit on the other hand claimed that he was elated to welcome guests – for he was an angel of a goddess and always guarding humans – and smiled happily, trying hard not to show his excitement, yet failed… again.
Game and Watch nervously glanced towards the busy street. Pointing at a group of people dressed in blue and black cloaks with hoods concealing their well-hidden faces. Except there was a tall man in leading the crowd of mysterious people. He was dressed in a red suit. He was as tall as Mr. Game and Watch was short.
Mewtwo sneered at the big number of people. Lucario crossed his arms.
When the large group that Mr. Game and Watch was gaping at finally entered the park fence, Mr. Game and Watch nervously smiled, "Hello Mr. Tall." Mr. Game and Watch didn't dare stick out a hand to shake. Mr. Tall only very rarely shook hands. Rumor has it that Mr. Tall was afraid of germs. Mr. Tall not only looked like a circus freak, but acted like one too.
On instinct, Mr. Tall took out his germ air sanitizer and sprayed it as if a squealing swine touched him. He revealed a haggard grin, full of black teeth, a couple missing and a gross yellow tongue. Talk about clean.
"The rest of the cirque is at your apartment… I think." Mr. Tall firmly said, his black eyes staring at nothing.
"What are you looking at?" Mr. Game and Watch innocently asked.
"Racist!" Mr. Tall screeched. Mr. Tall quickly retaliated and said, "Well, the performers and some staff are present. May we go rest in your apartment? We walked 59 miles, and we are all tired."
"Why of course!" Mr. Game and Watch said, "But what's up with everybody dressing up in cloaks?"
"To hide our true nature!" He scoffed, "Nobody understands what it's like to be a freak of nature!"
"You guys aren't weird!" Mr. Game and Watch tried to argue, "I'm not even human!"
Mr. Tall bent forward so he could be face to face with Mr. Game and Watch. He nearly whispered, "There are many unusual things in this world. Everyday, events occur that cannot be explained. Bizarre phenomena that often go unnoticed because people close their eyes to what they don't understand. But the truth to the matter is that you should go outside and fly a kite." He straightened up.
A mysterious man with a black cloak impatiently said, "Can we go NOW?"
"Relax, Crepsley." Mr. Tall said, slapping the man's back, "We'll just wait for this RUDE man to escort us to our living quarters?" They both glared coldly at Mr. Game and Watch.
The Smash Brothers cringed at Mr. Tall's hostility.
"I don't like him!" Young Link whispered to Zelda, clinging to her dress, wiping tears from his eyes.
The princess hushed the little boy and patted his shoulders.
Mr. Tall turned to face the Smash Brothers. "What the fuck is wrong with your group, Mr. Game and Watch?" after his last glimpse of the Smash Brothers, he turned to face Mr. Game and Watch. "You said they were a group of elite warriors! Not a bunch of…" He looked at Ness and Lucas who immediately shit in their pants. "Of pussys!" He held his nose in disgust! "Somebody! Bring those children some towels!" He quickly sanitized the air.
"Well," a nervous Mr. Game and Watch added, "looks can be very deceiving!" he nervously chuckled, shooting a serious glance at the Smash Brothers.
"Let's go before my cirque is spotted by curious eyes." Mr. Tall said shoving through everyone in the Smash Brothers.
Mr. Game and Watch looked at himself. What's stranger than a yellow rat that can shoot lightning from its cheeks, a god dammed blue hedgehog that claims to be fast (as-if), and a freaking colored in piece of moving black paper? The Smash Brothers are about to find out the freaky way.
"Ew!" Mr. Tall roared spraying Lysol on everything he saw, "Is this your apartment!" He sneered and held his nose, disgusted. "Just take us to our rooms to get settled in," He looked at a dead rat on the floor, and shuddered, "PLEASE." He tried to say through his teeth, backing up into his cirque.
Mr. Tall impatiently paced the floor, checking where he stepped. "They should be arriving any minute now!"
"Do you mean the vans?" A male voice asked. He was a fat-ass. His cloak was ripping!
"Yes Rhammy!" Mr. Tall said, showing love and affection to his group member.
Falco scoffed, and whispered to Fox, "I bet he's putting up a show in front of us!"
"Yeah!" Fox quickly agreed. "I bet he tortures his performers when nobody's looking!" The two pilots both snickered.
"Finally!" A woman in a black cloak merrily said as the vans pulled up along the street parallel to the apartment. "Mr. Tall!" she called, "The vans are here!"
"Thank Mr. Tiny!"
The mysterious people in the blue cloaks opened the apartment door and brought in the luggage and placed it near the cramped elevator.
"Thank you, Little People!" Mr. Tall cheerily said patting a person in a blue cloak's head.
The person in the blue cloak took down his hood and croaked, "Thank…" He took a haggard breath, as if he had trouble speaking, "You…" This person in the blue cloak appalled the Smash Brothers. He (or she) was a hideous being! It looked like his body parts were dug out from a junkyard, crudely stitched back together. Jagged teeth stook out of its lips and had a crinkly gray tongue, like his skin. His ears where hidden beneath his skin, and he had no nose, just nostrils. His desolate green eyes were filled with happiness when Mr. Tall gave him attention. His eyes were FULL green, not a pretty green. These people looked like MONSTERS or ZOMBIES. What's the difference anyways?
"Mr. Tall!" A woman in a thick voice said, "May we remove these cloaks! It's quite congested in here!"
"Why of course Gurtha." Mr. Tall was such a gentlemen to his cirque that it made the Smash Brothers wonder if he was just a real good actor.
The cirque took of their cloaks revealing their faces. The Smash Brothers were amazed to see such… casual faces. There really was no point in hiding under those heavy cloaks! Roy thought to himself, unless they were running from the police! But that seems unlikely.
Solid Snake noticed that a short person, probably a teenager, didn't remove his/her cloak. "Hey," Snake said approaching the soul kindly, "Why don't you take off your cloak?" He offered a kind smile. Maybe this person's shy? He thought.
The person took a deep and shaky breath, "I'm not sure what people would say about the way I look…"
Definitely a dude, Snake thought to himself. "I'm sure there's nothing wrong with the way you look!" We got a shy one… "Looka here," he placed a hand on the bo's shoulders, "Not until you remove your hood, I'll stop botherin' you. 'Kay?"
The boy looked at the floor, unsure of what to say. Snake breathed in, patiently standing up and looking at the young boy asking for his name and age.
"Evra Von. I'm 15."
"Evra Von what?" Snake asked.
"Just plain Von…What's yours?"
"Snake," Snake said with much pride, "Solid Snake."
"Wow… that's ironic…"
"What?" Snake said missing what Evra said.
"Nothing!" Evra quickly said.
"Take it off, kid!" Snake said getting impatient. "You're gonna be sweatin' in that heavy thing!"
"I don't sweat…" Evra quietly added.
"Everybody sweats no matta' how gross it is!" Thinking that Evra thought it was cool to say that he doesn't sweat, he said thinking of old times, "Teenagers, those troublesome times!"
"Hey Evra!" A strange boy in a pirate costume ran up to Evra, "It's okay to take off the cloak!"
"Really, why? I doubt that people will under—"
"There's a falcon man, a fox dude, and a wolf man!"
"Another wolf man?" Evra said with fear kicking in, "Are they dangerous?"
"Oh… You mean Fox McCloud, Falco Lambardi and Wolf O'Donnell?" Snake asked, "They are pretty harmless… unless you disrespect System of a Down, their favorite band… why?"
"Dude, they are just like you!" The pirate boy thingy said to Evra, "You have my word, nobody will think that you are different."
Evra groaned in defeat, slowly removed his hood. Snake smiled when he realized that Evra wasn't used to removing his face to the public because of the unique way he looked. He had long yellow-green hair and his green eyes were narrow like a snake's. Snake put a comforting hand on Evra's tensed up shoulders and honestly said, "There was nothing to hide, son! You're adorable!" He added cutely.
Evra tried to hide his shy smile, taking his compliment in.
"Ahem," Mr. Game and Watch gathered everybody's attention. His shoulders relaxed at how easy it was to silence everybody. Smiling he said, "Welcome Cirque du Freak," He burped and muttered an excuse, "Welcome to the Super Smash Brother's apartment! And since we have limited space in my apartment, while you perform your show, I have assigned the cirque to 'dorm' with the Smash Brothers. Sorry for any inconvenience."
"What?" An angry Mr. Tall jeered, "I can't be in the same room as—"
"Then go in a hotel and sleep there!" Ike retorted clutching Marth to his chest while caressing his blue silky hair. "Go waste your money on a hotel, for all we care!"
Mr. Tall looked at the floor, ashamed, "Please, excuse my sudden outburst," He apologized humbly.
"Apology accepted," Mr. Game and Watch said, "Oh yeah… I will be assigning rooms, please remember who you're with" He began to read aloud from a crinkly sheet of paper, "Mr. Tall will be with me in the largest room, Rhamus Twobellies and Bowser, Truska and Peach, Gertha and Wario, Darren and Link—"
"Excuse me," Link said raising his hand, "what about my girl-friend Zelda?"
"You know, very smart people created air mattresses." He told Link like he was an idiot, "I shall continue, The Wolfman and Donkey Kong, Alex Ribs and Ike," Ike angrily stomped his foot on the ground. Apparently, he cares, "Snake and Larten Crepsley, Fox and Hans Hands, Sive and Seersa are with Falco, Roy and Cormac Limbs, and finally, Evra and Sheik!" He paused for a dramatic effect, "Now I'll be taking questions! Just raise your hands!"
Hands shot up. "Yes uhm… you" He pointed to a handsome man, "name please?"
The man that was called on spoke, "Cormac Limbs
"Ah yes!" Mr. Game and Watch exclaimed, "I love your act! Truly fantastic!"
"Thank you," Cormac said happily, "How do we know who our roomies are?"
"All what you need to do is find their room upstairs. The rooms are identified with your roomie's name. Just make sure that you remembered their name! But if you forgot, just ask me again! Your roomy will probably be inside their room, and if not, enjoy the room!" Cormac nodded thanks. "Anymore questions?"
Link raised his hand, patiently. Mr. Game and Watch pretended to not notice him. "No?" He looked at everyone except for Link. How rude. Link raised his hand higher Maybe Mr. Game and Watch didn't see his hand…?
Link yelled outloud, "What about Zelda and myself!" We share a freakin small room! My wife will not be kicked out right?"
Mr. Game and Watch looked down at him, as if he was a stupid elf boy, "I don't like you, so I won't answer!"
Link rolled his eyes, and came up with his own answer. If Mr. Game and Watch didn't answer him, he'd just come up with his own set of rule, regardless of Mr. Game and Watch's answers.
"All right guys!" Mr. Game and Watch said clasping his hands together, "I hope you guys rest and have a successful performance! But!" The room grew eerily silent, "Since you worms—I mean people are living in my apartment you must follow MY rules." He placed his skinny hands on his hips, "any disagreements with my rules and the entire cirque can leave" He smirked, "I only have three rules, number one!" he nearly woke the neighbors with his booming voice, "You must clean up after yourself, number two, leave the toilet seats down when you are finished shitting! And glorious number three; house chores must be completed alongside the Smash Brothers! Thanks for your full attention!" Mr. Game and Watch said with delight. "The rooms are right up these stairs!"
"Thank you for your hospitality!" Mr. Tall said on behalf of his cirque.
End of Chapter One.