A/N: This song popped into my head and it sounded too much like Ilana to resist. Ilana's POV. Sorry if the lyrics aren't centered. They were supposed to be, but it didn't work. I tried like five times... Stupid FanFic, always misbehaving...
Disclaimer: Song is by Yael Naim and characters aren't mine. Duh.
New Soul
I'm a new soul
This place was so different from Galaluna. It was so strange. It was like a dream world. I had to take it all in again every morning to make sure I wasn't just waking up from a long slumber. It was amazing to know that I was somewhere new. Being somewhere new… It was so uplifting.
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit 'bout how to give and take.
The hardest part about going from Galaluna to Earth was learning everything over again. Our cultures were closely bonded through things like leadership and such, but the style and customs were completely foreign. I mean, our first night there was a train wreck. We scared a woman senseless. That wasn't exactly our greatest start.
That, and I had to teach Lance too. He was moody and brooding and I could cope with that, but could the rest of the world cope with him being so dark all the time? Of course not. I had to learn from Octus and from the world around me. And in turn, I had to show Lance so he wasn't totally behind on everything. It was my job to teach him in the same way it was his job to keep me safe from the Mutraddi.
But since I came here,
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake
And sure, maybe Lance had a better grasp on the world than I did. Sure, maybe he was a bit more experienced with people than I was. He knew how to fit in, that was for sure. Lance was just a professional at all that sort of stuff. I was sort of jealous of him for it.
I'm a young soul
In this very strange world
So I messed up. A lot. I was the biggest screw up anyone on this planet could ever imagine. I knew that I needed to be working on trying to fix my people skills. I had been trained as a princess, not as a common person. Lance had been trained in the ways of war. How did he manage to do this so much better than I did? He was like magic with people. It was irritating.
Hoping I could learn a bit 'bout what is true and fake.
I didn't focus on it for too long. I just kind of moved on and tried to keep fitting in, never fully succeeding, but easily getting closer with each attempt. My wardrobe was improving. I was getting closer. Hopefully.
But why all this hate?
Try to communicate
Finding trust and love is not always easy to make
And the people here were crazy. Some were nice and all, but others were stupid and obnoxious and so egotistical. It was ridiculous. But I was working around all the people having their own dramas and problems and trying to manage my own life. And being a princess and managing a brooding Lance and an all-too-easily adapted Octus made it really hard on me.
This is a happy end
I figured we'd go back eventually. I figured I'd take back some of the customs and culture from here back to Galaluna. And we'd learn things and we'd show our people. And I was eager to teach my people. Well, if there were any of them left, at least…
'Cause you don't understand
Everything you have done
"Ilana, really, do you have any idea what you're doing?" asked Lance as he stood in my doorway one day, watching me with somewhat wondering eyes as I applied some unnecessary make up. "I mean, you look like a clown."
I narrowed my eyes and stared at him through the mirror's reflection. "Lance-"
"You really just want to fit in, don't you?" His arms folded across his chest. His eyes glimmered with a bit of amusement in them at my desperate attempts to fit in. "It drives you crazy to be the one standing out in a crowd."
Why's everything so wrong?
I scowled slightly. "Yes, Lance, it does. Does it please you to know that you fit in and I don't?"
"Not at all." His eyes still smiled in a strange way. Since when had I ever seen him so close to laughing? "I just find it funny that you can't just be yourself. You were always so natural back on Galaluna."
"Here is not Galaluna." I tried to keep putting make up on. It was getting kind of sad. I didn't usually feel so self-conscious, but this place was driving me crazy. I even missed the idea of war on Galaluna. I missed war. That was how bad it got. I didn't want to be in this new world.
This is a happy end
"We'll go back soon," Lance promised, stepping from the doorway out into the hall. "As soon as someone gives us the signal, we'll go back home."
Come and give me your hand
I'll take you far away
I sighed quietly as his dark form vanished down the hallway down towards his own room to grab his backpack and get ready to head to school. I stand up, feeling like a doll dressed up by a child. I wasn't who I wanted to be. It was a disgrace. But to fit in, I would do anything.
I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit 'bout how to give and take.
I got laughed at a lot. I got yelled at a lot. I messed up too many times to count. My wardrobe was a flop. My hair never fit in. I couldn't do anything without upsetting someone. And usually it was all the cheerleaders or Lance. If I pleased one, I upset the other. That was irritating. I just wanted to learn the culture and I couldn't do that without ruining my own morals in the process.
But since I came here,
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake
And everyday, I walked up to the house and prayed the Octus's scanners would have detected a signal for us to go home. I just wanted to go back, to get out of here. I wanted to be home. I wanted to be back where I belonged. I didn't want to be trapped like this any longer. I just wanted to be home.
I'm a new soul...
In this very strange world...
Every possible mistake
I guess the one thing about being here was that Lance was acting natural. He wasn't being some stuck up corporal. He was being the teenager he was supposed to be. He had learned everything as a child and lost his teenage years to war and fighting. I guess it was good for him to be here. But I had been a child my whole life. I wanted to grow up, but I was trapped being someone I was not.
Possible mistake
Every possible mistake
Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes...
Despite all the teasing and the pain and the suffering I went through every single day of living on Earth, I had one thing to look forward to that I didn't have on Galaluna. I could see Lance's smiling face everyday. Because he was reliving the childhood he never had. He had been reborn as a new soul here.
Take take take take take... take a mistake
Take, take a mistake
I wasn't lucky enough to be like him. I made my mistakes in this strange world.
Take, take a mistake
A/N: I like how it turned out. Review please!
~Sky