AN: Okay so weird crack-ish Merlin story for you here. Humorous hopefully. I know that they already showed the round table in the final episode of season 3 but ignore that. In this story Arthur is a King with no round table*gasps* Enjoy ;)
KNIGHTS OF THE...
One word.
Just one word.
Just one word, said extremely loud, caused the young man to drop all the delicate vials which shattered into a billion pieces and stare dumbly at the furious blonde that approached.
"MERLIN!"
?_?
"I need a table." Merlin said looking at the carpenter.
"What shape?" the carpenter inquired.
Okay, this is going to be weird. Merlin thought. It was an unusual request, Arthur may have not been thinking clearly, but Arthur was King so he got what he wanted...but really...he wanted his new table to be... "Round - large. A large round table."
"Round?" the carpenter said cocking an eyebrow up just like Gaius did.
Merlin sighed. Oh good lord this better be right. Arthur still loved the stocks and unfortunately for the dark haired Warlock it seemed that no position of his was above being pelted at with rotten goods. "Yes."
"Are you certain?"
"Yes."
"For-"
"King Arthur? Yes, yes, its for him," Merlin snapped, beginning to sweat slightly.
"And you're absolutely sure...that His Majesty wants a...round...table?"
"A large round table," Merlin corrected.
The carpenter looked slightly frightened at the request. If this went wrong, he would be the laughing stock of the whole court.
Merlin thought back to that morning...
"Merlin I need you to go to the carpenter."
"Yes, and?" Merlin asked annoyed as he had just seated himself on Arthur's bed while the blonde stood by the window.
"And," Arthur said glaring slightly, "I need you to get a table made for me."
"Another one?"
"Merlin."
"Fine." Merlin got up from Arthur's bed. "You know there are servants who can do this for you."
"Yes. But, it's fun ordering you around. Make sure its a...(Round? Large? Square? Triangle? Wooden?)
Oh crap.
...table." Arthur turned and grinned at him. "Go on Merlin, not even you can mess this up."
Merlin looked back to the carpenter feeling a blush rise upon his cheeks. "I'm sure he said round."
?_?
Grabbing Merlin's shoulder Arthur marched him to the room in which the offending item was currently housed.
"What the hell is that?" he yelled pointing to the large round table.
Merlin chuckled weakly. "A round table?" he suggested.
Arthur glared. His blue eyes pierced the skull of his ex-manservant. "I can see that. Why is it a round table?"
"That's...what...you wanted?" Arthur blinked still glaring. "That's not...what you wanted."
"I asked for a large table. A. Large. Table!" he said punctuating each word with a jab to his friend's skinny chest. "Do you have any idea what sort of an idiot I'm going to look like when the knights come in. Round Merlin? Round!"
With perfect timing the door opened to reveal a grinning Gwaine and the ever noble Lancelot.
"Sire, we heard yelling." Lancelot said calmly.
Gwaine stepped towards Merlin putting his arm around the young man's shoulder and shaking him slightly. "What's my poor Merlin done-" Gwaine started good naturedly suddenly stopping mid-sentence to look at the table, "-why's that table round?"
Arthur sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. God I'm going to look more a fool than Gwaine.
"It was Arthur's idea," Merlin began.
Thanks Merlin, throw me to a dragon why don't you? Arthur thought.
Ignoring the promising look of the stocks from Arthur, Merlin ploughed on. "It's supposed to symbol equality. Arthur may be your King, but in this room, at that table," Merlin pointed, his words dropping down nothing more than a certain whisper, "you are all held in equality as will be your opinion."
Lancelot looked at Merlin knowingly and smiled. He bowed before Arthur not buying the words for a second. "It is my honour to be in your service and on behalf of the knights we thank you for your trust."
Gwaine bowed as well. Placing his hands on Lancelot's back he pushed the taller knight out the door. His voice wafting in the corridor, "I believe a duel is in order Sir Lancelot."
Arthur smirked. "Merlin that was actually quite good."
"Really?" Merlin blinked.
"Yes." Arthur stepped closer to Merlin still staring at the table. "But just so you know, you are an equal to me as is your opinion," he said smiling gently at the younger man.
Merlin laughed. "So I'll never ever go to the stocks again?"
Arthur grinned. "What are you talking about? I believed I ordered a large rectangular table...instead I got this. What do you say? I reckon a few tomatoes in the face ought to get your memory and listening skills up to scratch"
"You asked for a large table. You didn't ask for a specific shape."
"Merlin," Arthur sighed.
"That's not fair Arthur," Merlin scowled. "My listening skills are perfect, as long as the topic is stimuating. And to answer your previous question, you already are an idiot." Arthur punched him in the arm with enough force for him to cry out. "Ow!"
"Sorry," he apologised carefully nudging Merlin with his shoulder, "Thanks for the table." Merlin smiled. "King Arthur and his knights of the round table? It's got a ring to it, don't you think?"
AN: Okay I know it's weird. But hopefully it's funny, this story's been in existence for a long time, it's just never seen the light of day til now. Please, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it so leave a review. Scare4irony