So...this season's finale broke me, lol. If you haven't watched it yet, then I wouldn't be reading this if I were you, 'cause it contains some pretty big spoilers, lol. Anywho, I thought of this and kind of went with it, even though it's pretty sad. You have been warned. It's not a happy fic, but then again, not many of mine are. XD I HIGHLY recommend listening to "Runnin' Home To You" while reading this; it's what I listened to, and it just kind of 'sets' it. Anyway, it's pretty short but I hope that you still like it and leave a review. ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own this.

She hadn't wanted to tell him.

She knew he would only worry even more, and Iris wasn't sure if he could handle much more.

She, herself, had found out only a few weeks before 'it' was about to happen. There was nothing anyone could do; it was too early. Barry was worried enough for her life, and she feared the burden he would carry if he found out that her death would take two.

Iris's life and their unborn baby's life.

God, it was so hard not to tell him.

She remembers the precise moment she found out; the way joy had consumed her as she could hardly wait for Barry to return home so she could tell him the news. But then she remembered her fate...and had decided that it might be best if never knew. If Iris lived, then she would tell Barry, and if she didn't...he would probably never know.

But that was for the best...right?

She can't imagine the guilt that would consume him for not only letting her die, but their child as well. It wasn't his fault. She only wished he knew that. She feared not only for her own life, and now their unborn baby's life, but she also feared for Barry's.

Iris knew that he would go to any length of saving her, and not only would that damage him, it also put him in the way of danger. And she knew how hard it would be to move on if something happened to him, but she also understood his motives. God only knows she would do the same.

And then the time of her fate had come...she still remembers the fear that filled her as Savitar grabbed her, pulling her away from her father and to her dreaded destiny. Maybe she should have told her father...he would have been so happy.

But his hopes and joys would only be destroyed that night. So she decided against it. In the end, her family should only mourn one loss. Not two. So that was why, she had been so heartbroken yet so relieved when her time never came. H.R. had known, she realized. He had known about her pregnancy.

How, she was unsure, but she knew now that he had. Her heart wrenched for Tracy and H.R., for the loss of their future, but her heart ached selfishly with relief also because her and Barry still had one.

Their family still had one.

So that night they lost a friend and teammate, but gained a child from it all. They would live. It still hadn't sunken in yet. And so, during Barry's last fight with Savitar, she had watched in horror and fear the entire time, one hundred percent aware that she could lose someone that night.

She could lose Barry, and that wasn't an option for her. So when she had pulled the trigger that night, the bullet piercing through Savitar's chest, moments away before she would have lost her own beloved Barry, she decided that she would tell him. Soon. A small part in the back of her mind ached with the fact that she had killed someone, and not just anyone, she had killed Barry.

Remnant or not.

Evil or not.

She had killed him.

But the front part of her mind, the part that celebrated that her Barry was live, triumphed that. Her Barry had lived. He was alive and he was okay. They had a future again. And no words would describe the amount of joy she felt. That's why, she had decided, that night, the night of H.R.'s funeral, she would tell Barry about their child.

She couldn't wait one moment longer. He would be so ecstatic. She could imagine the smile on his face as his eyes lit up in unsuppressed joy, and pure glee filled him. It would a memorable moment; one they would never forget. They had a future again, with their child.

Their child.

It was still so unbelievable and such a miracle, she could barely believe that they had been blessed with such a thing. Because at first, she had been seeing it as a burden, another life they would lose. But now it was hope. A joy. And she couldn't wait. But then...then the worst moment of her life had to happen. And those dreaded words..."I have to stabilize it,".

They would haunt her forever.

Why? Why did Barry have to be the damn hero and do this? They had just gotten their future back, their family back, and now it was just going to be torn away? It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair.

She remembers seeing him walk away, the terrified feeling she had as she felt him slipping away from her grasp, knowing that they would never again be together, that their family would never again be whole, and pleading, begging that he wouldn't go.

But he did. He had to leave, and just like always she had to stay behind. She remembers breaking down right after he disappeared, angry and devastated, and sobbing and just being broken.

All this time, they had thought it was her life that would be lost...now she realizes that they should've been trying to save them both.

But the truth is, she did lose her life that night; as her fiance and love walked away into the unknown. Never would she see him again. Never would she hold him again. And never, she realizes with a choked sob, would he see their child.

She hadn't wanted to tell him...

And now she never would.

...Well? Sad? Heart wrenching? Anything? Feel free to lemme' know with a review! ;)