Disclaimer: I don't own KH, KHII, or any of Squenix' lovely property. I just manipulate the pretty little things a bit for my (and your) reading pleasure.

AN: This was originally supposed to be a oneshot, but I ended up dividing it into a two-part ficlet. It's just a small break from Ebony Rain (which I will be updating soon, cross my heart) to get the inspiration flowing for said fic. Here's the first half, the second half will be uploaded as soon as I get a little privacy for comfortable smut (my comp's in the kitchen, haha, doesn't that suck?). Well…enjoy, and please R&R (flames welcome).

Shattered Peppermint

Part 1 of 2: The (certain) Problem

"I love you, Riku," I murmur over the constant ebb and flow of the tide, stretching forward to touch our feet then retreating back into the sea in an endless cycle. It's another perfect day on the Destiny Islands, the sky a bright blue and the sun playing hide-and-seek with the world as it dips behind the occasional cloud. It's warm, too -- warm enough that I almost wish it's perfectly decent to run around in the nude.

Not that it matters, people get as close as they can anyway. And that's pretty damn close on these islands.

You give me a small smile from where you lay next to me in the sand, but it isn't a real smile. It's shallow and sad, and it doesn't bring the glint that I miss so much back to your aqua eyes.

I'm so sorry, Riku. I'm so sorry for letting the darkness take away your confident grin. I'm so sorry for not being able to bring it back.

"I know," you answer quietly, then slip an arm around my waist to pull me against you. I sigh a little, softly, curling and laying my head on your chest. I settle my hand on your stomach, against the cloth of your t-shirt, and though you try to hide it I felt the muscles tighten slightly beneath my light touch.

You relax, but I can't stop the mixture of sadness and hurt that washes over me. Do you really think I would hurt you, Riku? Do you not trust me? No…it isn't that. You just…can't help it, can you?

How did you become like this? I want to know everything…maybe then I could help…

This is the way it's been since we've returned to Destiny Islands, three months ago. You, me, Kairi…we're all together now. All of the bad stuff is over, you're no longer a part of the darkness and you don't have to be afraid anymore…

I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the old you. The confident pretty boy that could take on the world, the head-strong youth that wasn't afraid of anything. I always admired you, you know. I wanted to be like you, I wanted to be strong and never doubt myself. It's true that I became stronger while I was looking for you, but…

I was always so afraid…

I don't know whether that vivacious, smirking Riku is gone forever or if I can bring him back, but…I'll love you the same either way. I'll always be here for you.

"Hey, Riku," I say, sitting up a little, my hand still against your abdomen. I smile brightly at you, hiding nothing. I know I couldn't be more transparent if I was made of glass, but…that's the way I want it. I want you to know exactly what I feel and think. "We're alone."

And alone we are. No one knows about this secret little cove but us, so no one will ever bother us here. And isn't it so nice? The sand is so clean, so warm, and the only sounds are the whispers of the wind, the soothing seawater, and the cry of the gulls as they seek their lunch.

You quirk a brow at me in amusement, then sit up as well, keeping your arm around my waist. A slight smirk touches your lips.

But it's not the same. You try so hard to pretend you haven't changed, but…it's so hollow…

"Such high maintenance," you teas, and I lean in to kiss you, tilting my head slightly and closing my eyes. You return the gentle contact easily and without hesitance, but I wonder how you really feel.

Do you like our kisses, Riku? Or do you just do it for my sake?

Y'know, you never tell me you love me. I know you do, I can taste it in your lips, but…

It doesn't matter. I know I have to be patient.

You part your lips slightly to allow my tongue access, and I eagerly accept. It's familiar territory, of course, but that doesn't make me any less enthusiastic about exploring. You taste so amazing, Riku -- like peppermint. Remnants of this morning's toothpaste, right?

You shift your hands to my hips then slid them up my bare sides, and I wrap my arms around your neck, moaning softly into your mouth. I'm glad I decided to wear only my swimming shorts, I love the way your hands feel against my skin.

But you…you and your baggy pants and t-shirts -- do you know how odd you look? I haven't seen you shirtless or in shorts since we've returned to Destiny Islands, no matter how high the temperatures or merciless the sun.

Do you no longer like to show your skin, Riku? Or are you hiding something beneath that heavy material?

Our tongues continue to combat in that delightful cavern of your mouth, but it's not much of a battle. If I exert even a little force you recede, granting me control. Is that what the darkness taught you? I can't help but to shift my hips against yours as I straddle your lap, feeling like a child begging for a piece of candy. I may seem impatient, but I really love this foreplay just as much as the climax. I love being with you, I love touching you, I love entwining my fingers in your silken hair…

I love you. I know how much I say it, but I wish I could let you feel it. If you knew how intensely I felt for you, you would hesitate or doubt me…

You wouldn't be afraid.

I'm beginning to feel a little light-headed as I continue our deep kisses, moving my body against yours and trailing my fingertips along your neck, my growing need apparent beneath my flimsy trunks. I emit another unrestrained sound as you break our kiss to change positions, pushing my back against the sand and settling yourself between my willingly parting legs.

I take this moment to lift myself up on my elbows and look up at you. You're so beautiful…the way your silver hair brushes your creamy flesh, falling over your shoulders…and your eyes…they've always seemed to be illuminated with their own light…

But they're not so bright anymore. Not as I remember them.

One stroke. One stroke with those skilled fingers and I'm already bucking into your hand. I bite my lip and throw my head back, moaning a little in the back of my throat. You smile and remove my shorts, exposing my already painfully hard erection. I can't help it, you're just so…

Another stroke causes me to gasp, and I clench my eyes closed. The sand is warm and soft beneath my bare body, but it's nothing compared to the heat of your mouth closing over the tip of my throbbing erection. I'm sorry, I don't mean to buck like that, I can't help it…

As always, you understand my tacit apology and settle your hands on my hips, holding me down. My breathing becomes a desperate pant and my moans louder as you take more and more of me into your mouth.

You know exactly what to do, Riku. You know exactly where to touch, and when. You know how to move your tongue to make my whole body quiver, to make me have to force myself to breathe. I don't last long -- I never do -- but I think that's more because of you than me.

With a loud cry and one final, involuntary thrust, I empty my seed into your mouth and collapse back in the sand. You swallow all of it, like always -- no mess, you say. I like that.

I feel tired and take a moment to regain my breath, but I don't want to stop here. You always take care of me, Riku. You always fulfill my needs, but…you never let me return the favor.

Still, I try, sitting up and touching your chin, tilting your head towards me to give you another kiss. I can taste myself among the faint peppermint, but I don't mind. I deepen the kiss, and in the midst of it I slide my hand to the snap of your pants. I want to do the same for you, Riku. I want to make you feel the way you make me feel.

You hesitate, like always, and break the kiss, the stain of shame evident on your cheeks. You know, that taint looks very appealing there, Riku, and the way you look insecure and distressed, glancing down. I can see why someone would want to make you look like that.

But it doesn't change the fact that no one has the right to make you feel ashamed of yourself.

"Sora…" you say quietly, brushing my hand away gently and rising. "It's okay, you don't have to."

"But--Riku…"

I want to. Is that so wrong? Do I not appeal to you?

"We have to be getting back, anyway," you argue, giving me that small, shallow smile of yours. "Aren't you supposed to meet that Leon guy?"

Huh? Oh, yeah, that's right. Leon had some business on the mainland and said he'd stop in for a visit. I almost completely forgot…

I laughed, standing as well. "Yeah, you're right. We'd better hurry and head down to the café; he's not very patient for people being late."

You laugh a little to hide your discomfort and we exit our secret little cove together, making our way back to the beach and, ultimately, Destiny Islands' best café.

I've been writing to Leon often, telling him everything. Especially about you. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't involve anyone else, but…I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to make it better. I don't know how to show you…

So I turned to Leon, because I trust him. Because he knows things about people, he sees things nobody else does. I told him about us. I told him how much I love you. I told him…

…about how you tense when I touch you. About how…your body flinches, very slightly, if I catch you off guard. About how you blush and look away.

Please don't be angry at me.

We reach the pretty little café and I grin and open the door for you, watching you step in first. We hang out often at this place -- it's nice, not too expensive, and the food's good. Not that we have many options...all the real food places are on the mainland. But I'm not complaining; I'm glad this area's not very populated.

I spot Leon instantly, seated in a cerulean booth near the back of the café, and grab your hand to lead you to the other man. Leon's quiet, but practical and intelligent -- I think you'll like him.

"Leon!" I greet, waving cheerfully and sliding in the booth across from him. You sit next to me, and I give your hand a gentle squeeze under the table before beginning my introductions.

"Riku, this is Leon," I say, gesturing a little. "He helped me when I was trying to find you and Kairi."

Helped me a lot.

"Leon, this is Riku, the one I was looking for."

I hear you mumble a 'nice to meet you,' and Leon nods in acknowledgement. Your gaze meets his, and he locks it in place for a moment.

He has such sharp eyes, doesn't he, Riku? Like he could peer into your very soul. Like he knows everything.

You break the gaze and glance away, uncomfortable, and I break the silence. "So how's everyone in Hollow Bastion, Leon?"

He turns his attention to me and I can tell you're thankful for it. It's really okay…he's going to try to help us. If anyone can help us, it's Leon.

"Everyone's fine," he answers calmly, leaning back in his booth. "The restoration project is doing exceptionally well, so we've all been busy. They all send their blessings, though, and hope you can come visit them sometime soon."

"That's a great idea!" I exclaim, excited, my expression lighting up. I would love to see them all again -- Yuffie, Cloud, Aerith…it feels like it's been an eternity. "Then Riku'll get a chance to meet everyone!"

Leon nods, but I feel you shift a little beside me. You don't want to meet my friends, Riku? If not for them, I never would've found you again. They're all nice people, and I know they'd love you…

You murmur something about going to the restroom and stand up, ignoring my questioning gaze. I watch you leave, moving through the tables and disappearing into the bathroom at the other side of the café.

I wish you would tell me things, Riku. I wish I knew what you were thinking.

"He's pretty, Sora," Leon comments absently, and I turn my eyes back to him. "It's no wonder Ansem was so fond of him."

My eyes widen a little, then narrow a little at the name. Ansem, that bastard. I wish he was alive so I could have the pleasure of killing him again…

And that was saying something -- I've never wanted to kill anyone before him, certainly not as badly as this.

"How…how did you…?" But how did Leon know what Ansem had been fond of?

"Cloud," he answers simply. Oh, right. Cloud and Leon had become something of an item at Hollow Bastion. It was that news that gave me the courage to approach you in the first place.

Leon rises and says, "I'm going to check on your friend -- stay here." Before slipping out of the booth and heading to the bathroom. I feel slightly indignant to be treated like a child, but…I asked Leon for help, so now I have to trust him, right?

Right?

Still, I couldn't help but to be a little impatient as I waited on the two of you to return, drumming my fingers on the table. I hope he doesn't tell you…that I told him everything. That I asked him for help. I hope he doesn't even tell you that I've noticed how different you are.

You try so hard to hide it…

I hear the bathroom door open and I instantly turn in my seat to see. You emerge looking a little flushed, your gaze down, and walk quickly out the door.

"Ri-Riku!" I call, but all I hear in response is the jingle of the little bell above the entrance.

If Leon hadn't sat back down at the moment, I would've followed you. But he did, so I turned my concerned, inquiring gaze to him, slipping back into my seat properly. What did he say to you? Are you angry at me?

"It's a little risky," he says, picking up a menu and flipping through it. He speaks as though the topic of conversation is as casual as the weather, not as important as my boyfriend's psychological well-being, and that irks me just a little. But I say nothing, only listen.

"But I think I know how we might be able to help your Riku."

Even if only a little.

--Bharune