Disclaimer-I.. do not own Detective Conan. This is just for fun, and that's it. :3
(side note: Umi was typing on the computer when an old classmate, whom, for all she knew or cared, had died, walked up to her. "You're avoiding doing something more important, aren't you?
Umi froze and her eyes got very big. "Nooo... What would make you think that?"
"You have a list of 'things to do' right next to you.. and starting a new fic is none of them."
".. damnit.")

"128.. 129... 130..."

"For the love of god, Umi, give me the damn tootsie pop."

"No! I have to see how many licks!" A young-ish girl with messy brown hair tied back in a loose ponytail held a brown bag close to her and held a red tootsie pop away from another girl, one with long, raven black hair and crimson eyes. On the other side of the pony-tailed girl was another brown-haired girl with silver eyes. She took the tootsie pop and ate it. The girl with the crimson eyes stared at her in horror.

"Amaya Hanyou! Do you know where in the hell that has been?!"

"Mmph. Umi's mouff." She pulled the tootsie pop out of her mouth. "Don't worry, Nemi. I'm completely immune to whatever germs she may have." The crimson-eyed girl, Nemi, sighed.

"Fine, how about this.. We give Umi's tootsie pops to people from the streets and have them tell us how many licks are at the center of the tootsie pop?" The girl with tied back hair, Umi, clutched her bag in pure horror.

"You wouldn't dare!"

And thus, the adventure began...

"Hey, look! Kids! Let's give them a tootsiepop! They love candies!"

"What do you think they are, idiots? Their parents-HEY! LISTEN TO ME!" Nemi walked back up to Amaya and Umi, who were handing a group of kids tootsiepops.

"Look, Conan! Mine's pink!" A little girl held hers up to a boy with glasses and odd hair.

'I didn't know such a color existed in the tootsiepop land...' Amaya blinked.

"Hahaha.. Who are you three again?" The boy asked them. 'Great.. Ayumi, go show Mitsuhiko or Genta or something. Leave me aloooone,' he thought, giving the girl a slightly annoyed look. He had gotten the color of blue. Conan looked at the colors everyone else had.

Mitsuhiko had green, Genta had brown, and Haibara had red. Conan looked back at Umi, Nemi, and Amaya. "Well?"

"We are..."

"The Humor News Cast!" The three of them posed like idiots. Well.. More like.. Nemi stood there while Umi and Amaya pointed to the sky proudly... right.. idiots. Do not trust candy they give.

"Hey guys-" Conan started to say don't eat the candy, for it might be poisioned, when he saw them licking the candy. His jaw dropped.

"You idiots! They could have poisioned it or something!"

"No, no.. We just want to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of the tootsiepop," Umi said, holding up a finger.

"What would the center be considered? The stick of the tootsiepop, or the brown tootsie roll inside of it? And do you mean on all sides, or on one?" The girl with the light brown-ish hair said in a monotone voice. She had merely unwrapped hers.

Genta held up his tootsiepop stick. "It took me four bites." Tears ran from Umi's face. She violently pointed to Amaya and Nemi.

"You did this! I could have seen how many licks myself, but Noooo, we just had to test out the variables!"

"If we have others finish off the bag with one tootsiepop each, and record their data, you get all the ice cream you want," Nemi said in a monotone voice that could challenge Haibara's any time of the day.

"FREE TOOTSIEPOPS!" Umi started shouting.

Amaya wrote down some information on a clipboard. "Victim: Genta. Age: Who cares? Weight: More than that other kid. Height: Um.. Taller than that other kid. TP color: brown. TP data: four bites."

Conan caught a glimpse of the clipboard. 'VICTIM?!'
"Guys, stop eating! We're victims! And they put TP in it!" Haibara looked at him with that frozen stare of hers and continued licking.

"Are you sure they didn't put down 'victim' simply for lack of a better name? And TP is probably an abbreviation of Tootsie Pop. After all, it's what I would have done. Besides, why isn't Genta dead yet?"

She.. had a point. Mitsuhiko held out the remains of his tootsiepop. "65 and a half licks, and two bites."

Amaya wrote down his information below Genta's. "Victim: Mitsuhiko. Age: Again, who cares? Weight: lighter than Genta. Height: .. Well... He looks vertically challenged to me. TP color: green. TP data: 65.6 licks and two bites." By the time she was done writing this information down, Haibara had finished hers.

"369 licks." Amaya started writing again and Conan looked at her.

"How in the hell did you finish so quickly?"

Haibara shrugged and gave a quite creepy smile. "What can I say? In that place, lunch breaks are very quick and require eating speed that could compare to that American cartoon, Speedy Gonzalas."

"You also know his name? I thought you didn't watch cartoons."

"You know, for as dark and creepy as a place that is, they were quite fond of America's Cartoon Network." Conan just stared. Ayumi held up her tootsiepop stick, looking a bit embarrassed.

"Um.. I couldn't finish licking it.. And I lost track after 64.. So.. 64+ licks, and two bites."

Amaya started writing this information down and Conan threw down his tootsiepop in agitation. "You IDIOTS!"

The Humor News Cast gasped in horror, and Umi's eyebrow twitched. "Nemi.. He will go on.. THE LIST." Nemi nodded in agreement.

"Oh, definitely."

"Thank you for your cooperation," Amaya said cheerfully as she finished writing. "We'll be on our way now." They walked off, with Umi in the rear. She pointed at Conan.

"You. I'll remember you. Tootsiepop hater."

A/N: Yes, I am supposed to be doing more important things.. Such as writing my part in chapter 7.. (I'm pretty sure it was 7) of a joint fic that Mat49324 and I are doing called "A Chance of a Lifetime."

If you will, feel free to check it out!

Next Chapter: Probably Gin and Vodka. (Because the Humor News Cast would wind up walking into them and not noticing they're dangerous. Or being too stupid to care/notice. You decide.)