Hey, this is Legend. Yes, I'm on break from school (finally), but no, I shall not be updating my stories. I just don't have any drive at the moment. But on a happier note, sudden inspiration for a fic struck me today while I was listening to a song.
So as a Christmas gift from me to my readers, here is a one-shot about Amy thinking about Ian after the incident in Korea. I know that's really overdone, but I'm attempting to take a different approach. You'll see what I mean. This was inspired by "Without U" by 2PM.
Without You
I feel dead inside. Empty. I want to cry, but at the same time, I don't really feel like crying.
So this is what heartbreak is like, I muse.
"Hey, kiddo-?" Nellie looks at the expression on my face, then says, "Uh, never mind. I'm just going to pick up some doughnuts and be back in, like, ten minutes, so stay. Put. Got it? By the way, Dan, if you want room service, you're going to have to ask for it at the desk 'cause the phone's not working."
"'Kay." Dan's eyes never leave the TV screen.
A few minutes after Nellie leaves, Dan decides to go to the lobby and order a sundae, leaving me alone with my thoughts. My thoughts about you.
You'd smiled at me. You'd flirted with me. You'd kissed me. And then you'd left me to die in a pit. Literally.
How could I have been so naive? It reminds me of something that kids will sometimes do to their pets. They'd stick out their hand and pretend there's a treat inside their fist. And after they've driven their pet nuts, they'd reveal that they had nothing for them in the first place.
I actually fell for your trick. I really believed, heart and soul, that we might end up together. It's common knowledge that no one can have a happy ending with a Lucian. But you're a master thief. You stole the clue, you stole the coin (well, I guess that was really my fault), you stole my heart, and you even had to steal my common sense.
Did I really have no effect whatsoever on you? Everything, your saving us from the Yakuza, our teamwork among the books in the Oh sanctum, our race in the mountains, even our kiss; did all of that really mean nothing to you? Isn't throwing all of that away wasteful in the least to you?
I know that brutality is essential for a Lucian in the Clue Hunt, but I can't understand how you could (or couldn't) have the heart to do that. Why would you take my heart and crush it and destroy my spirit and make me cry like that? I won't believe that that's really what you're like inside.
But... At the same time... I'm sort of grateful to you for doing all of that to me, even breaking my heart. I believe that everything happens for a reason. You've made me stronger. I've learned now, what I should really expect in the Clue Hunt.
I think it's actually better that we parted like that. You sent a clear message, no confusion added. I'll know how to act around you the next time we meet. Even if our alliance had lasted longer, our relationship would never have been real. I would have fallen harder for you, only to hurt myself even more than I have now.
That's why... I want to thank you. For giving me good memories. And making me stronger. I gave it my all, but this is just how it turned out. You betrayed me, but I gave you everything I had, so I have no regrets. Without you, I'll be stronger. Without you, I'll stand straighter. Without you, I'll live on.
Nellie walks in with bags in both hands and Dan right behind her, shoving ice cream into his mouth. He walks in, makes a beeline for his laptop, and starts playing Minecraft with his sundae right next to him.
Nellie puts her bags down on the counter, then joins me on the couch.
"Hey," she says quietly enough for Dan not to hear, "how are you feeling?"
I nod my head. "Much better." It's the truth.
"Are you sure?" she asks. "I know it's been a few days already, but..."
"Yeah." I give her a small smile. "I'm going to be okay."
"Hamilton!" I shout. "Come help me move these!"
"Sure thing, Amy," he calls back. He runs over and starts moving books from the floor to our new bookshelf. With his help, we're done in five minutes.
"Thanks, Ham, you're awesome," I say.
"How long did it take you to figure that out?" he jokes.
I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I take it out and flip it open.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Ames, what's up?"
I smile at the sound of his voice. It's Evan Tolliver. My boyfriend.
"Not much," I answer. "I just called a few of my relatives over to help with my house renovations."
"Cool. Listen, do you want to go out for a walk in the park with me later?"
"Sure, I'd love to!"
"Great!" I can practically hear the grin on his face. "See you later, then."
"Okay, bye!"
I put my phone back in my pocket, and I can't help the happiness that takes over my emotions. I still can't believe that the boy I've liked for more than two years is finally mine. It makes me think about all that's happened to me in such a short period of time.
It's been a little less than a year since Dan and I won the Clue Hunt. A little less than a year since the incident in Korea. Yeah, it's pathetic, I know, but I still think about it from time to time. Like I'd promised myself, I've become stronger and moved on. But I guess I'm still not completely over you.
I look over my shoulder to see you standing by Natalie, who is arguing with Hamilton about the way he arranged the furniture.
What would you think if you knew how I still wonder about you? Would you turn a cold shoulder again and walk away? Or would you tell me that you do the same for me?
Whenever you see Evan, for some reason, you always want to pick a fight with him. Is it just Evan? Or would you act that way around anyone else I chose?
I still remember everything that happened between us. You may never find out, but I still care about you, Ian. Maybe I don't care about you as much as I used to, but I know I still do. Maybe I always will. The thing is, I've learned to control my emotions. I've learned to stand tall and live on without you. I'm okay without you.
But I can't help but wonder: are you okay without me?
Thoughts? Questions? Comments? I hope it didn't sound too cliché. CC is always welcome. Please don't favorite or alert without reviewing.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
~Legend~
