A girl got into the back seat of a taxi. Driver swished through the buzzling roads of Mumbai towards airport. It was drizzling in early morning. Girl leaned on the window pane. Rain water was flowing down the window making her face irresolute covering up her forming tears in her eyes for those who looked from outside. She closed her eyes, hugging herself and took a deep breath as if trying to calm herself down.
" Kitni badi pagal huin mein. Ek CID officer hoke b itni giri huyi harqathein karne lagi mein."
She swiftly wiped tears flowing down her cheeks.
" Patha nahi mein achanak itni dar kyun gayi."
" I feel so ashamed of myself"
" Ise phele kabi meine kabi itna vulnerable feel nahi ki"
" Jab choti ti tabse hare k competition pe jeetna hi meri lakshya ti. Kabi zindagi me hari nahi huin mein. Mere papa tho mujhse yahi chate te. Unke khshi aur samaan keliye mein apna pura khoshis dalke kisi b halath mein jeethna chati ti aur jeet ti ayi. "
" Kaash ma zinda hoti. Tho wo mujhe sikati."
Her eyes shone.
" Aur ek din achanak tum ayi mere life mein. Aur sab tumhare tariff karne lage. "
" Mujhese ye dekha nahi gaya. Mein pheli bar kisi se har rahi huin. Ye seh nahi payi mein."
She lowered her gaze
" Issliye… issliye mein….meine tumhari weak point bolepan ko use kiya… Tumahri sari investigations ko apna bolke seniors ko idea di. "
" Sigh…. You really were very intelligent dear. And I felt vulnerable for first time in my life."
" Pheli bar haarne ka dar mehasoos ki meine."
She hugged hard and rubbed herself on the upper arm.
" Tum dekne mein itne weak hote huye b tum mujhe esa feel karwaoge ye meine sapno mein b nahi soch sakiti. "
" Jab Abhijit sir aur Daya sir ko dekti ti tho wo role model lage kabi competitor nahi. Par jab koi mere hi rank ka wo b meri jesi ladki aye tho dimag gum gayi meri…"
Sad laugh escaped.
" I felt jealous of you damn it."
She let out a big sigh and smiled softly.
"Agar tum apne chote se banaye circle se bahar ati tho tum bahut dur jaogi apne carrier pe."
" Aaj mein CID Mumbai ko chodke jaarahi huin…humesha keliye….. transfer leke. Willingly. "
" Mein ka b b ab tumse nazar nahi mila paungi."
She looked out of the window towards the sky.
" Kehte hain ki agar koi apne galtiion ka ehsaas karle tho wahi kafi hai aur unki maafi un tak pahunch jayegi."
" Meine apni galti ka ehsaas karli hai."
She wiped her eyes again.
" I am sorry. I really am sorry deviyana."
The ever tough cop Inspector Muskaan was crying like a girl huddling near the door, head rested on the window, shuddering due to cold partly and also due.
The dark clouds cleared and sun peeped out of clouds bright, marking a new future ahead.