Thoughtless
A/N Many years ago, Anna Williams was rumoured to be adopted, once, so I thought it was a good idea for this fact be used into making a fic. This one takes place at the 5 Tournament, when Nina defeated Anna.
Sorry for possible grammar mistakes, English is not my first language, and I'm trying my best to improve by studying every day. Now on with the story.
All of my hate cannot be bound
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming
Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
Pushing all the mercy down, down, down
I wanna see you try to take a swing at me
Come on, gonna put you on the ground, ground, ground
Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny? What the f**k you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying when you're dirty a** in front of me
Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
I'm above you, smiling at you, drown, drown, drown
I wanna kill and r**e you the way you r**d me
And I'll pull the trigger And you're down, down, down
All my friends are gone,
They died (gonna take you down)
They all screamed, and cried
I'm gonna take you down
Gonna take you down
Thoughtless, Evanescence (original version by Korn)
I still remain surprised, and at the same time be abashed of myself, because of you, Anna. All this burden and shame I carry within my bare shoulders, so much for the inexcusable leniency I've showed upon your hide, thus not killed you, right here, right now. And honestly, I've been craving for your humiliation for such a long time, innumerable hours of waiting passed from me, before this very perfect moment arrived, in this tournament of ablazing fists and swift fighting where I showed you who's the boss.
Still you don't get it, do you?
I laugh loudly against your despicable face, your so desired beauty utterly ruined, your weakest spot revealed and exposed. Still, my triumph over you wasn't enough satisfying for me, and never will be until your suffering is unsustainable enough.
I'd love to see you cry from pain, and torture you so much more till you beg for instant death and mercy, all by yourself.
I haven't got enough of you yet, have I?
For too long I have endured, sustained and tolerated your insufferable presence, and you have abused, dishonoured and abased the name of my family in return. Yes, MY family, for it is only a blasphemy for someone like you to be carrying the name Williams, the one my father gave to you.
Silence bitch!
Don't stare at me this ridiculous way, down on the ground as I've dropped you, while I enjoy the screams of excruciating pain and agony coming out of your mouth. A small crimson lake flowing smoothly out of your harassed lips. But all the same, you continue calling me names, instead of shutting up for good and do whatever I long for.
Just beg me, why is that so difficult for you? You were defeated, once more, simple because you were inferior to me. How thoughtless of you to presume a fight could be won only by pure luck! Do you think miracles might happen in a vicious, wicked world like the one we're dwelling in?
Face the truth, you were not cut out to become a first-rate fighter.
You would never stand a chance against me, because you're not a Williams, not the slightest bit of it.
I haven't tortured you enough, have I? So, let me tell you one silly children's story, you'll listen to me anyway, want it or not. No objections, no questions, you're too lost in your pain all the more, and the worst is yet to come.
Enjoy your punishment. Most of the times, fairy tales begin with once upon a time. But you know, Anna, we're adults now, and this is ridiculous. So, I have no other option than get straight to the point.
Ever since I remember myself, ever since dear father was still walking this very earth, I was a lonely baby girl dwelling in a princess room, decorated with the best furniture. The most expensive children toys were at my disposal, the curtains of this fabulous fairytale-like room of mine were pink, typical colour you might think, with shades of purple and blue, like the cloudless sky of a warm summer evening. This room was my kingdom, my dominion, my entire world, and I was the queen, ruling for all eternity. At least, this is what I was thinking, back then, when my mind was still innocent and pure like the clear water of a virgin, remote island, my soul void of misery, and death was just a word unspoken. Time was flowing in harmony, pleasure and joy was all I knew. Infinite laughter echoed through the walls of that room, affluent was the love I was getting from my parents, like the countless dunes of the desert. Perfectly blissful were those days...
Yet...something was missing, I was a princess without any servants or people to obey my commands, and grant my innermost wishes. No fairies could be found outside my mind's eye, despite the one lingering above my bed, so sweet and beautiful, her never ending smile warm and tender, burning my heart with the eager to confess to her of all the things that consumed me.
Silence was all I could be awarded after long hours of speaking to her, though that striking gaze of hers was so enchanting and calm, as if replying back to my requests. I was asking her for a sister, loyal to me, faithful and kind...
Then came that accursed day, when my mother brought you into this house. You were a tiny, small thing wrapped in her arms, crying loudly, fear of the unknown world your azure eyes were facing. Yes, Anna, once we were young, pretty young, and now all the petals of youth have fallen, only a few remain for us, and to be more precise, few remain for you...
I know, that hurts a lot your blithering vanity, cause you're too consumed by the fear of losing your beauty one day, you'd go at any lengths to maintain it, just like you did.
But you gotta face the fact already, your scars will accompany you till your dying day, and most definitely you prefer to die young, rather than notice the first aging lines...
Even if not, I'll soon make you realise why should you ask for death, just stay focused on what I have to say.
Mother only said that you had been hurt, and should take care of you the proper way, because she had taken pity of you lying in that terrible state. Nothing more was I told, and all the more I respected my parents' ways. Especially dear father, who had objections of you living with us, yet couldn't deny mother's good willed intentions of raising you as a member of our family, and become one of us. Had he foreseen the consequences of mother's actions, he would have killed you himself in great pleasure.
So, came you, to throw off and ravage the perfect balance of my family, and share with me all the possessions I was so freely offered by MY parents. You were not to become my servant, but you took the same name as me, entered my room which grew bigger in space, only to be shared with you. All my wonderful toys were touched and contaminated by your nasty small hands, and greed, this foul creature took over you. As a consequence, you took liberties with me, asking for more and more, as if you were the queen in my position, and I was your silly puppet in my own property. And more than anything else, you demanded to be called my sister.
God really works in mysterious ways, to have brought you into the chambers my life.
Remember the first time I hit you when practicing with Mum some Aikido techniques? You should know by now it wasn't just an accident, for in my veins courses the blood of dear father, the blood of an assassin. Little do you know about it, believe me, in fact, you have no idea about this, no matter how many times you've desperately tried to imitate my actions, all good for nothing, for you're far from being the biological daughter of Richard and Heather Williams
Williams simply enjoy the view of the blood without drinking it, not a single drop must be lost by their precious sight. They are a unique, very different race of vampires. Bloodsuckers you might call them, only by name, when in reality, they're just spectators of red geysers swirling and dancing through the victim's body, after it has got some nice kicks or an impressive shoot by their rifles.
Bulls-eye.
Nothing more can be compared to success. All the rest is failure and disgrace to the Williams family, and honestly you have failed too much to live up to their expectations, and the proof stands before you. Me, a real, pure-blood Williams looking down on you, witnessing your last downfall before my very eyes, and I rejoice in your torment, eager to bring you so much more pain and suffering through poisoning, twisting, penetrating your mind, till your very last struggling breath.
You ruined my kingdom by dividing the love of my parents, the love exclusively belonging to me. You managed to deceive mother by your smart looks and charming face, got to her into teaching you all her skillful fighting techniques. But it wasn't enough for you, for later on you wanted to deprive me of him, too.
Fortunately, dear father was wise and clever, knowing who was his true blood and flesh. It was reckless of you to think, or even imagine that you could earn the love of such a man, and this is something I will never forgive you, for trying your best to get his attention. He never wanted you to stay in this house, he knew that your presence was unwelcome and could only bring about bad news.
Father had sensed the vicious, death-bringing aura emanating from you at first glance. He always called you a brat, remember? I could expect nothing less from him, for he had seen your true face before you eventually brought it to the surface.
And paid the price for his love towards mother with his own very life. Because of you.
Because they wanted you, and father refused to give you back. I still wonder why did he try to protect you, instead of handing you over to those filthy criminals, who seemed to be related to you, somehow. How thoughtless of him it was.
You do remember exactly what happened to dear father that night, don't you still hear his screams haunting your dreams? Don't you sense his footsteps, chasing behind you all the time? You had done nothing to defend him, when those killers came to end his life.
And I... I wanted them to take you back where you belong, or just save my father...
I'd even sacrifice my life without further indecision, since I owed it to him...!
But I was incapable of firing this gun held into my shaking hands, I was unable to move or even hold my breath... Yes, I was a coward to behave like this, and learned the hard way. How thoughtless I had been...!
I had to toughen up, build up my defences, for I had a legacy to carry on and honour my father's name by following his footsteps. That's the least I could do in hopes of forgiving myself one day...
And you, all you had done was just stare in terror, frozen, immobilized by your darkest fears turning into reality. All that you craved for was to save your hide, or run for dear life, and leave father to his own devices without a second thought.
Him, dead. The man you were supposed to love with every cell of you, the man who welcomed you into his family and embraced you by giving you his name, granting that wishful thinking of his wife.
And father's death was only the beginning of William's family decay, falling from heaven to the deepest gates of the abyss, condemned to cease to exist. Mother met a tragic death after father's loss, for she had never imagined such an end to come, never could she picture her life without him, when hell turned frozen. You're well aware of the rest : she left us and was reported to have committed suicide, and all the nonsense mentioned in that pathetic toilet paper was not satisfying enough to justify the true reason behind her monstrous murder. Once again, it was you, because of your existence.
''Love killed her.'' you murmur impolitely, you have the face to answer back after you have learnt you're adopted, accidentally, because of mother's thoughtless mercy. And to my distress, for the first time in your entire worthless life, you're right, I can presume. Love led Ms Heather William to your path, thus saved you, held her in her arms as if you were her own child, and saw a tiny angel depicted through your cute and beautiful face, ignoring the bitch lurking inside you, the one you were bound to become, by the very genes passed down to you, by the losers who brought you to this life. For death has been chasing you ever since your very first breath, and this curse affected us all, one by one, doomed to suffer along with you, till you eventually met your match. Your nemesis, me.
Hadn't it been for your intrusion into our life, my childhood would never end so abruptly, my sweet ignorance would continue painting the sky with stars, and bloodshed would come much, so much later, as pre-arranged by my family's tradition, and I was fully aware that the blood in my veins would be consumed by blood-lust, sooner or later. To make matters worse, once this thirst awakens your soul, never ever can be quenched or tamed by human means. I just can't control it, it's in my nature, don't blame me for that, let alone when it comes to your own blood that I so despise.
A rotten apple, this is what you have been proved to be, rotten to the core. Every smile of you has always been fake, practiced and rehearsed on our moonlight-reflecting mirror, back when I was pretending to be sleeping for good. The fairy above my bed smiled no more, neither talked to me, instead she transformed into a wicked witch, haunting my once delicate and pleasurable chamber, the cheerful pink curtains turned to grey, and all the dreaming world was no longer mine to hold tight in my petite grasp. Flowers withered, fragrance faded, turning into suffocating dust, and all that once was mine became a faraway memory of my glorious past, distant and illusionary like the semblance of a dream. A living hell arouse, bringing all harmonic days to the brink of extinction and despair. You must know better. After all, you were there to see the last days of my dominance, you, the root of all evil.
Ever since that day father died, till the end of my time I will be seeking for revenge. I will keep on embracing the clouds of hatred and animosity towards your abominable facade, I will go on living till you give me back my life, my mother, and above all, my dear father. Thoughtless is my hatred, so is my wrath upon you.
Alas, I've come to realise that this isn't the day I've been looking for, this is not the time of triumphant legends and fairy tales to unfold, for we have both grown, perhaps too old to be fighting like the dog and the cat, and frankly, I've devoted so much effort into finishing you off that it hurts.
Why me being so soft on you in the end? Honestly, because your tears partially managed to pay off your debt to me. Because you finally grew a brain and asked me persistently for your death. And I would do it with great pleasure, hadn't it been for my mother's love... I loved to see you cry, for the fun of it, and I did it, once more. Flawless was my tactic, and you fell for that so easily, stupid woman, a prostitute in soul like you are. One more proof that you'd never meant to be a pureblood Williams.
That look is priceless!
You believed everything I said without a single objection. I made you doubt your family, and that's what I enjoyed the most. How thoughtless of you to fall into my trap!
But you are a Williams, damn you, so to speak of the undeniable truth, at last! You've always been the black sheep of my family, the thorn piercing my intestines, and the living resemblance of father in terms of appearance. Every sickening time I glance at this abhorrent existence of yours, the memory of father arises from the back of my memory, causing me extreme pain, nothing compared to what you feel right now.
Father never admitted, but always took pride in your similarity to him, though you were never told. He would never allow you to get conceited of this fact, and use it to my disadvantage. It was more than obvious that he loved me more than you, for I bore his adamant personality, his swift judgment and an innate talent for getting acquainted to the art of removing lives.
Now, all things considered, played and told, I shall take my leave on you, and hope you'll never dare intrude on my life again. Leave out all the rest.
This is your last call.
Get yourself a f***ing life, away from me, away from my son.
You will never be forgiven. Never ever.
It's final.
A/N I know I messed up, especially in the ending, right? I'm terribly sorry for that, but I promise to try harder next time and revise once my knowledge gets any better. Feedback is appreciated, but constructive criticism about my way of writing would be more preferable, only if you wish. Thanks so much for your visit!
