Hello!!!! Thank you for clicking on my story!! :D Hope you like this fic! And please review!! It makes me uber happy!! :D you'll understand what I mean by all human "at first". Bella and Edward are 22, Jacob is 20. This is actually based on a real story. Have a nice summer guys!! Enjoy!

BPOV

"You're everything to me Bella. I'll be back and we'll get married. I love you more than anything." Those were the last words I heard Edward say, and he hasn't come back.

Ten months have passed since I heard those words, and now I'm getting married… to Jacob Black. It's not on the rebound like everyone thinks. Jacob makes me happy, he stops the pain, he's my relief, he makes me feel normal. He's my own personal sun. I love him, I truly do, but I don't love him like I loved… him. I don't think I'll ever be able to love anyone like that. I still feel pain, and I have to hold myself to prevent from shattering into pieces, whenever I remember him. That's why I need Jacob around constantly. I always knew I wasn't enough for him. Hopefully, someday I'll be able to move on like he probably already did.

EPOV

It's been ten months and 3 days since I left her. Well, more like had to leave her. A trip! That was all I was taking! A one month trip! We were one year from ending college but I already had a job. I vaguely remember it now. I fell, that much I know. I broke almost all my bones and was on my death bed. Carlisle found me and the rest is history. I can't bring myself to say that I'm angry over Carlisle changing me. I'm not. I'm glad. There are many things I hate about this life though. The constant thirst, always present and trying to make me lose my control; like I once did —that's the worst of it all. That's why I haven't gone back. I'm not going to risk Bella's life. The monster I am now could kill her, quite easily. I shuddered.

I'm still a "newborn" —that's what Carlisle has told me it's called— in some ways. My strength, though it has certainly decreased, is still quite capable of winning over anyone. My self-control is still poor and it doesn't help that we eat only off of animals. Not that I would prefer it any other way, though I've been tempted to leave Carlisle and have the feast of blood I could have; I don't want to be a monster. My control in general is getting better though. I don't get tempted to attack everything I see, I don't get distracted so easily any more, I know how to control my emotions better, I've learned how my ability to read minds works, my eyes are no longer red, that's good. I'm still quite unstable and I won't risk Bella's or anyone's safety.

I'm determined —even if every second that passes by is torture— to endure the wait, I haven't seen Bella in such a long time and it's quite hard to resist the urge to run towards her right now. (We're living in a big white house next to Forks —quite close to Bella. We used to live like nomads but after we became three, we decided it would be better to stay in one place.) The pain eats me alive. I pull myself together whenever Carlisle is around and needs me, I owe him that much, but whenever I'm alone… I curl up in a ball of misery. It happens more often now since Carlisle changed a woman a month ago. Her name's Esme and she's his mate. He loves her so much. He's with her all the time and he helps her get accustomed to her new life like he helped me. I'm glad he found a mate; he shouldn't have just me as company, not in the condition I'm in.

I hear his thoughts frequently —they are the only ones around— he thinks changing me was wrong. He thinks he's made me unhappy. He thinks dooming someone else to this life was his worst decision. Though I may not show it, I'm glad he changed me. If he hadn't, I'd be dead and I know that someday, I'll be able to see Bella again. Even if she's moved on, I'd be happy to see her happy and I couldn't if I was dead. He gave me a second opportunity to which I'm eternally grateful. I've told him this so many times. I think I've finally convinced him and that's why he decided to change Esme.

Someday, I'll see Bella again and hope she can love the monster that I've become. I would understand if she didn't or, I would force myself to understand at least. I just want her to be happy.

I heard their footsteps coming. I got up and waited for the door to open. Esme and Carlisle entered smelling heavily to deer and elk. The smell was mouthwatering. I needed to hunt.

"Carlisle?" I called.

"Yes Edward?" he responded.

"Do you think I'm ready to… go see Bella?" I asked with a trembling voice. He already knew about Bella and so did Esme. I'd told him the first night I could think of something besides the thirst and the burning in my throat.

"That's not in my power to decide, Edward." Carlisle answered calmly. "Do you feel ready?"

I could tell by his thoughts he thought I was. He just wanted to see me make the decision. "I don't know… I think I am." He smiled and Esme hugged me.

"I hope I get to be as strong as you someday." She said fondly. I've only known her for 26 days and she's already like a mother to me and by the way she thinks of me, I'm like a son to her too. I like that. Carlisle says that because of our vegetarian ways we can make tight bonds of love. I loved them both truly. I chuckled lightly. I would see Bella soon.

"I'll send a letter first." Suddenly, I was filled with doubt. What if she didn't want me back? What if she didn't even want to see me? What if she thought I abandoned her?

"I'm sure it will all go great." Carlisle reassured me.

My dearest Bella,

I know it's been ten long months since the last time I saw you. My days are joyless without you. I would want to see you again, my love. I don't expect you to take me back that easily and I would understand quite perfectly. I don't deserve it. I hope that you will at least let me explain why my absence was necessary. I don't think it's possible to hear what I have to explain in a letter.

I love you. You may not return my sentiments but I needed you to know. I have and will always love you and I can't stand to be one more day away from you. I just want to see you. If you refuse to, I'll understand but I can't keep living like this, with you not knowing why I left. I need you to understand. Please Bella, will you meet me in Forks High, where we first met, this Saturday?

With all my love,

Edward Cullen

I had reread it a thousand times and it hadn't felt good enough. It didn't express quite right how I felt. I thought it would be best to put my new name on the letter. But, now that I think about it, what if she doesn't recognize it? Why would she really? Well, it was done. I'd already send it. It wouldn't take the mailman long to reach her house. She had four days to figure out her answer. Though I doubted she would show up, I still hoped. I longed to see her face. Her rosy cheeks that heated up whenever we touched. It didn't even matter if she didn't take me back I just wanted to see her. To see her one more time.

Saturday came. I realized I hadn't put an hour on the letter. It didn't matter I would be there all day long. I arrived at six o'clock in the morning; I couldn't wait any longer.

Eight o'clock. I should've realized she wouldn't come this early. Now, I'm even more impatient.

Noon. It was still early. Still, she could be here in less than an hour. No, I shouldn't get my hopes up.

Four o'clock. My hope grew with every minute and every car that passed by. She wasn't here still.

Eight o'clock. The sun was setting. It's dazzling brightness coming to an end and with it my hope.

Midnight. She hadn't come. I'd expected it. Then, why was I feeling like this? I felt a great oppression in my chest. Dry sobs were emitting from my chest. I felt like my whole world was crumbling around me. My dead heart shattered into pieces. Yes, I'd expected it but now, it was real. She hadn't shown up. She didn't want me anymore. I'd hoped, I'd contemplated, I'd supposed that she would at least show up. I'd truly believed that I would see her once again. I don't blame her. I said I would understand and I do. I truly do or at least, I will try to.

I said I would wait all day but, I couldn't bring myself to leave. I stayed there, sitting on the steps of Forks high. Broken beyond repair.

Three o'clock am. The suffering made me dust. I had flashbacks of her. How I loved her! I loved her more than anything. I saw her in her bedroom. I saw her in her desk with that frown placed on her lips I loved. I saw her everywhere. My memories were mere human memories though. Scarred by my poor human sight. How I wished I could see her with my new eyes. To see her clearer. I'm sure my human eyes had never done her justice. She was my everything. How was I going to go on? I couldn't. I couldn't go on without her. How could I forget her? I couldn't either. I would never forget the brightness in her eyes. Her chocolate brown eyes I love. My fist hit the pavement and made it shatter. Hitting stuff didn't help at all. I didn't feel physical pain anymore and the emotional was too strong for the possible weak physical human pain to notice.

Seven o'clock am. Bella. My Bella. My love. My dear sweet Bella. My heart. My soul. People started passing by. They murmured things like "he looks horrible" and "he probably got dumped." Their words meant nothing to me. They couldn't hurt me any deeper than how I was already hurt. Yet, I couldn't find the strength to get up; to run back to my house and suffer alone how I wished to do.

Eleven o'clock am. I finally got up. The sun was high up in the sky but its brightness didn't reach me. The world around me was falling apart. Everything was dark.

Yay! So, I hope you enjoyed it!! Especially the Edward POV cause it's going to be a long time before another one comes along. Lol! Review!!!! please please pretty please with chocolate, sugar, whipped cream, bananas, ice cream and caramel on top!!! :D thanks to my amazing beta jenna009!!!! thanks for reading!!